around the roundabout

2005-11-10T20:20:00.000-08:00

I've moved again. What can I say.. It's in my nature to run..

http://around_the_roundabout.blogzor.com/

:)

2005-11-10T16:32:00.000-08:00

Current Mood: High.. on my super grande soy caramel mochiotto.. flip sake it was gimungous! I seriously can't even function now. I didn't have my glasses on and (yes it has happened a number of times) but I ran into two different walls and couldn't get the glass to my mouth just a second ago! Ahah.

And now, I completely forget what I wanted to write in here. My goodness.

How sad.. I'll have to come back if it comes back to me.

2005-11-09T16:50:00.000-08:00

Finally Rory is coming to her senses.. I got a sneak peak at the next two upcoming episodes of Gilmore girls :D Until last week's episode I was going to drop the series completely since it was doing my head in. Rory and Loreli not speaking, Rory being stupid - dropping outta Yale and going out with jackass Logan.. well now that Jes is back on the scene.. I'll watch :) He's my favourite outta the guys.. Sarah thinks it's cuz I like the rebel boys.. well yes and no. He's very intellectual. I don't care who wants to argue.. he IS very charming.. especially now that he's back and all "matured".. he's veryyy nice :) He wrote a book.. I think I'm loving authors at the moment, maybe cuz I would kill to publish a book - but had to write something worth reading first.
But it's be weird.. with Luke and Loreli tying the old knot.. Jes and Rory would be step-cousins.. umm can that happen?
Anyways.. just wanted to publisize my love for the man :) Ahaha..

Ciao.
L

2005-11-07T08:21:00.000-08:00

Current Mood: Pretty much on the brink of breaking something.

I hate alcohol and the effects on stupid people that don't even think they have a problem.

I hate money and how stupid people get when it goes to their head.

I hate how the internet's giving me such grief right now.

And I hate my big stupid mouth. I've been studying all last week about the power and destruction the tongue has, and what? That's right.. Monday morning.. not even noon and I screw up SO huge and blow up on someone who needs me to love him instead of try and fix him.
I HATE MY MOUTH.

Hope you have a better morning than I have had so far.

L

2005-11-05T19:48:00.000-08:00

Current Mood: Completely satisfied in Jesus Christ.

You know.. I have known this about myself for a very long time, but I don't think it became real to me until about 6 minutes ago. I need to love myself. I have always had issues with this. I need to accept love from myself, others and Jesus Christ. I can't fully love my neighbour when I don't love myself or accept that Jesus loves me. And I can't keep loving my neighbour "as myself" while I'm beating myself up over the fact I don't feel loved.
Intresting eh?

Also, I think one of the most amazing books I've read is called "Blue Like Jazz" and thanks to Justine, my life has been changed through this book.
I have a friend from Oregon (the dude Donald Miller who wrote that book lives in Portland) and I wrote my friend about this book saying she'd love the raw honesty this guy writes by.. and ahh how amazin this book is. Turns out she grew up with him! I'm so utterly jealous. I've never wanted to meet any authors of any other books than the Bible.. but I want to meet Don. He seems amazing.. I dunno.. true. I'd just love to sit in a cafe in Portland and listen to his story right from his lips. And I want to go to Imago-Dei church in Portland.. I want to visit.
BUT.. as I was complaining to Shawnda just yesterday.. how frikken expensive it is to get to Oregon from here. Bollocks is what I said :(

L

2005-11-03T07:02:00.000-08:00

Current Mood: Still not eating and sleepin well.

I was sitting downstairs and it dawned on me - I'm a lot like my parents' house. Let me explain.

Our house is slowly aging. It's had the odd repair on it, like getting new roofing, new carpets, painted and fixed up the front room - but that's about it. Our house is over 25 years old and there's a LOT that needs to be fixed up. Take my room upstairs now. *The story is, that I finished my room downstairs and it was cool.. Josh took it when I moved to Belfast, and he won't give it up again* So, I have his old room right next to my parents' room. That means quiet music at night but nothing major. At the moment my room is covered in drywall patches. You have no idea the damage that kid did while at home with school. Where his old desk was, there was a hole the size of a quarter! And ye, there's just patches everywhere.. half my stuff's in boxes. It's an eye sore. I like to keep my room spotless, it's the only place in my life that I can keep under control. My room's my sanctuary.. I can run away to it, and things are just as I left them. But right now it's like a tornado's living in there! I feel that about my heart. I just feel so torn up over so much. For so long I "had it together" and now it's unconrolled.

Next take our bathroom upstairs.. ("upstairs" is the level you are on when you walk into our house..) So this bathroom is SO ugly. Yellow bathtub, toilet and sink. With yellow marble counter tops.. that were all hot in the 70's.. NOT so much now :P In our shower (oh my father would be ragin if he knew I was talkin about the house lol) half the wall is gone because it's all disintegrated. It's sick.. but anyways. There's plastic and duct tape all in the shower.. it's so disturbing. Then the tiles on the floor near the tub - some have come up.. some you just sink a bit if stood on. The ceiling needs a good sanding and re-paint. It's just really gross and grosser in there.

Our basement bathroom is big enough for a 6 year old to turn around in. It was mostly just for Patrick and Josh to shave and brush their teeth in. No one actually really used the bathroom cuz it's pretty gross too. Not gross in the same way as the upstairs.. no this has it's own category. Let's start with the horrible wallpaper! Pink and flowery. Then the toilet and sink are the minty 70's green.. dodgey vynil flooring.. always spiders and bugs. It's the "emergency I-have-to-pee-but-there's-someone-upstairs" bathroom lol. Well just the other week with all this rain the bathroom floor had water constantly all over it. First we thought that it was just the toilet with a leak in the bottom. No no, it's coming from OUTSIDE. The ground had been so wet and soggy.. and the state of that bathroom - voila.. flooding floors.

We need to replace the entire bathroom upstairs.. but that'll leave us 5 peons without a shower for a couple months. HO my life, the amount of work that's got to go into that bathroom.. lol! (My closet backs into the shower in that upstairs bathroom.. so I can't even finish my room properly until the bathroom's all done) So, for us to re-do the bathroom upstairs, firstly dad's gotta pit a shower downstairs somewhere. We first thought about a temporary shower in the laundry room.. a couple hundred bucks.. and then we could do the upstairs bathroom right away. Well, that was NOT going to happen in our house apparently. SO.. now 7 years later we haven't put a shower downstairs yet, or done anything upstairs yet, and my room is still all boxed up and crazily cluttered.

I feel like that's me. I can't fix one thing until I get the other thing fixed first.. but where do I start? I'm glad I'm not in control of the world.. cuz the earth would be a big mess-up :) And I also love that God likes ME just as I am. He can work with my cluttered heart and broken insides :) Amen!

I dunno how many of yous have grandparents that were in the wars.. but both my dad's parents were in WWII. They were brave and they played key roles in my free-country-future. I'm thankful that they sacrificed their lives and minds in order that I'll live in a better country. So, Rememberance Day is coming up. It's never an easy time for me.. I saw an advert last night on tv.. about the veterans.. and I cried! This is the second Rememberance Day without both my grandparents. I still have no closure over my gramma's death - the one that I was a month away from coming home Belfast from ye... ye, I have issues with myself for this. I know it wasn't my fault that she died. She was old and sick, and broke her hip like 2 weeks before she died. But I never even got to say bye before I left for N.Ireland. My grampa's been gone for a couple years.. 10 days after my bday. I don't know why I get so upset about the two of them. They didn't like my brothers and I. Hell, they didn't like my parents either. They had 2 favourites out of their 5 kids.. and the 2 kids' families were the greatest things to hit earth. The rest of us were rejects. I never knew my grandparents but I hurt SO much when I think about them. As I get older I think I realise how much they could have been parts of our lives, but they didn't cuz how they felt towards us. That hurts. My gramma changed a lot, for the better once my grampa died. She was only alive for like 20 months without him, but she talked to my dad again. Apparently my dad would go see my gramma every Monday night after moving out, until my grampa told him not to come around like that. So, once grampa was gone, gramma wanted to see dad. I don't think my grampa believed in anything else but himself.. but I really hope that my gramma ended up believing in God before she died. Who knows. But this topic is over.

Anyways.. last night I was goign through boxes of old letters and cards.. I used to get loads and loads of hand-written letters.. I guess that's cuz I wrote twice as much. I don't anymore. I wasn't able to find my time capsule.. which I really wanted to find from like grade 8. That woulda been cracker for sure!! Awk well.. I laughed really hard when I found some cards and trinkets that brought crazy memories back. Some really tough ones too.

Hope you have a good Thursday morning, afternoon and evening.

Ciao all.
L

2005-11-01T11:50:00.000-08:00

No more problems.. I'm no longer writing any garbage about my life anymore. I'm being a dumdum (ahha Sheryl) and I'm truely sorry.
If my opinions have something worthy of telling the world.. if not, I'm shutting up big time.
Goodness. I'm a frikken psycho whiner! Shoot me.
L

2005-10-29T15:14:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Hungry.. but my dinner's almost ready.

Pasta for one.. my life's story lol.

Do you ever feel unqualified for life? I'm there right now.
As Eric Forman said this evening, "We're too old to go trick-or-treating, but we're too younge to die.. what do we do?"
Too right wee man. Too right.

I battle with this a lot in my head. And I know I'm blessed, chosen, adopted, accepted, redeemed and forgiven in Christ's love.. but it doesn't stop my psychotic mind from doing this to me once in a while.

I just feel.. too young, too old, too nothing to do anything. I feel like I'm pretty much non-existent most days. Yes, I slept, ate, and breathed today, but I'm still thinking..

I'm not married.. or even with someone-but hey, if Bridget can pull Mark Darcy when she's 32.. maybe I have a chance? LOL. I'm not in school yet. Heck, I'm flippin jobless at the moment even! Yes I went to Ireland and Northern Ireland.. but it doesn't make the fact I'm nothing right now right. You know? Like.. I'm doing that gay floating around thing again. I .. Uuugh, I don't even know how to get it out what I'm thinking.

Ok this is random.. but there's this wedding I'm not wanting to go to next year (no, it's no one you know-chuddup) and Michael an I were talkin about it today. I think I'm just going to pretend I'm at the kiddies table or something. Hang with Brenn..(12 yrs old).. I can get decked out in Hilary Duff stuff.. wear pink sparkly lipgloss.. and put my hair in pony tails.. what do you think? I can just picture this wedding. My father sitting at the table drinking diet cola all night not speaking at all. My mother ... and I enjoying our lots and lots of wine. Michael just kicking around.. Patrick.. probably not even coming cuz he'll be in TO for the weekend with Andrea.. and Jman dancing like he's in a rave. Oh goodness.. I really fear this wedding. And it's a weekend ordeal! I can't even just drive out for the ceremony.. I'm stuck there all weekend!!!!! OH man, I want to die. I really do.

It seems like everyone around me has grown up except me. But then sometimes I just feel SO much more mature then some of them and I wanna slap them! Sometimes I'm jealous. Like.. they are all trying on their dresses for their weddings.. and getting engaged and all that. And I'm just still putzing around! Someone always said to me, "Don't get caught up in trying to look for a man.. instead ask God to make you into a Godly woman, and prepare you to be the wife He wants you to be." I think sometimes I'm jealous of the people around me that are all settled in their lives.. and God's still just workin on me. It's not just marriage and all these relationships. I'm so behind even in the education and job department! Now, all my friends have either finished college, uni, or are still in.. Some that have finished have prefessional jobs. Some are back in school already. I'm STILL not. And it's my own fault. I wanted to know what I wanted to do before stepping into uni. Call me stupid, cuz I do all the time. But it buggs me.. what if I just applied to ANYTHING then just switched courses later in time? At least then I'd be in my second year of uni.. on my way to getting an education.. and in the long run getting a job. But no, instead I had to be stupid and work for a year at a job I dreaded going to every morning. So, with the crap that's going on with me.. I quit. Yea :) And now you ask? Oh ye, JOBLESS. Completely screwed since I decided not to get a car cuz I'm moving to Hamilton next Sept if I get accepted to Mac.. where I really don't even want to go, but it's my oly option at this moment in time. I hate how dumb I am. UUUgh.. I'd slap me if I was ..n't me. :P
Maybe I'm just not molding at ALL that He's still smushing me down again and again. I want to be such a Godly person, I want to live such a life that people notice from 10 miles away that I love the Lord and that my life on earth is to please HIM alone. He knows this, so why is he making my heart long for someone? BOO! I want people to see God in me, to look into my eyes and see Christ. I hate living in this world. I hate that it's so hard to wake up and praise God for things going around me. It's so easy to have faith in Jesus Christ, but it's so hard to live for Him every moment of the day while fighting the sinful thoughts of our sinful STUPIDass nature! LOL. Ok, I'll stop.

I'm going to watch the Sequel to Bridget Jones's Diary .. watched the first one last night.. ohh to be single, and home alone eh? I bet you're all jealous now :P

I'll leave you with this quote from Mark Darcy, played by the amazing Colin Firth:
"I don't think you're an idiot at all. I mean, there are elements of the ridiculous about you. Your mother's pretty interesting. And you really are an appallingly bad public speaker. And, um, you tend to let whatever's in your head come out of your mouth without much consideration of the consequences... But the thing is, um, what I'm trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, um, in fact, perhaps despite appearances, I like you, very much. Just as you are." - Mark Darcy

Ciao.
L

2005-10-28T17:56:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Sick from eating too many Mentos sweets.

I figured out why I loved the sweets "Millions".. they were the pink mentos in mini size!! Heck yes :)

Last night acupuncture was well-needed and was awesum actually. I hadn't gone to acupuncture in over a month.. as some as you might know why. But you might not think this of me - since I'm so macho on the outside sometimes LOL! But.. I get super crazy anxiety attacks about certain things. I'd grown one about my acupuncture. See, sometimes I'd be in a lot of pain with certain needles.. I was getting treatment in my feet and some really tender places like the web part between your thumb and index finger.. and right above your lip and under your nose.. like some killer spots right? I just had a super love-hate relationship with treatment. I loved to hate it really. But I love Sheryl. She's amazing, and has gotten me a lot better than I was before ever trying acu. So.. I was finally back last night. She was upset with me not coming. We both get a laugh when we're together. But last night she did all sorts of points in my head.. like the crown of your head. Have you ever had a safety pin stuf in your head? That's what it's like! Weird feeling .. not so much painful, but tingley a bit. Anyways.. on my lower back she did a thing called "Circle the Dragon".. they just surround a particular painful spot with needles.. it's pretty class. Because of the state I was in (not very relaxed and things going on in my head).. she put this chinese herb on the needle in the center.. and light it. It smelled liek pot! It was aweusm. Ahem.. not that I know what pot smells like. Oh who am I kidding.. I'm from Waterdown.. at the restaurant I worked at buddy got fired for lighting up on his shift! AHha.. oh boy.. what memories. But last night was one of my best nights in a while. I wasn't as nearly grumpy as I normally am, and I had energy for a while! So.. I'll be getting loads more points in my head from now on.

Today I had a rough time waking up.. planning on being up at half 8.. well it was 9:40 when I got outta bed. Sarah was late anyways, so it's ok. But she droped off drywall compound for me. I pretty much have my whole room patched up. Let me tell you it was a huge job. The room is small enough, but basically the entire wall.. an yes, all 4 walls needed to be covered. Dad helped with a huge hole, I didn't want to mess up. But.. I just have to take down some shelving, but I won't do that until I know I'll be painting my room for sure. And at this moment, it might be another 6 months till I get some paint. But it's a start on renovating Jman's old room.. ugh my room.

My nose is healing up just dandy.. just makes me wanna pick it more lol. I can't wait till I buy a tiny piercing for it instead of this 1 inch long piece of metal that's twisted up inside my nose. Pretty picture eh? :P Ahaha..

57 days till Christmas. I can't wait till day 58. Right after talking about weddings.. and now my thoughts towards Christmas you're all going to think I'm scrooge. But I definately am around Christmas. I don't like the holiday. Don't get me wrong, I love the fact that we take time to celebrate the birth of God's son Jesus CHRIST! Amazing, can't wait to meet the guy. But I hate the commercialism of the "season". I love snow. And I love fireplaces :) I love the fire most, but I even like a big of pinery or a "swag" if you will lol.. with some beries in em. I like some of the nice smelly decorations. And I like a simple tree. But I hate how people get monsterly around Christmas. And it's all about buying gifts for people that you'd generally not buy gifts for. Why isn't it that if you see a wee gift that you think so&so will enjoy.. pick it up. Tell them you appreciate it and YEAH. Happiness. No no, lets have these huge lists of people you just feel guilty about not giving them a gift.. so you just settle with this blah present just for the PURE fact of getting something. It's stupid.
Michael and I were talking about this the other day. He said to me that he could just see me buying gifts for people in the summer and saying "whatever.. you're special to me.. blah blah".. and not doing ANYTHING in December. No tree, no cards, no gifts that don't mean much.. not even dinner. I had to disagree, I like trees and I would die wihtout a family craic-filled dinner. But the rest sounds spot on. I crack out the Christmas music any time of the year if I'm that mental at the time.. why not do the REST all year round? Like celebrate Jesus Christ is the reason for the season.. well why not.. Jesus Christ is the reason for LIVING folks! Wise up eh? :P

I'm about halfway through "Blue Like Jazz" and it's actually one of my favourite books I've ever read. I can't wait to read more of Donald Millar's work.. he's simply genius in his writing style. I'd love to sit in a cafe with him and some friends and just listen to him speak about his passions.

Our family tradition when we were younger was that on devil's night.. while our windows were being broken by the jackasses down the street, we'd carve our pumpkins. I think I'm the only one carving one this year. I haven't carved one in like 3 years.. I'm not sure why really. But I'm just gonna get a wee one.. and carve the batman symbol in it. The original batman of course.. as much as I love Bale in the new one.. I like the original symbol too.
And.. I think I'm wearing the infamous sombrero while I'm giving out candy. LOL. I have no costume at all.. so.. it's either that or my santa hat. I wish I had a good costume :(

I think I'm going to start mentally planning my trip to Australia to visit Mo once I'm done uni.. so that'll be summer 2010. Ew, sick! And saving in my "college fund" piggy bank :) Also.. I'm thinking I'd like to do a wee switcherunie in my last year of uni.. or whenever I could really. To study abroad for a term. I'd like to either go to Edinburgh, Belfast, British Columbia, Nova Scotia, Australia, New .. or maybe somewhere else cool. You'd ahve to have excellent marks to do that I'm sure.. but I'll be looking into it if I go to school. I'd maybe have to transfer to Waterloo in my second year.. I know they do a lot of study abroads in the UK. We'll see. MAN I just want to travel right now. But boy would I get burned at the stake and I don't want to go there again.

Anyways.. it's 9:37 on Friday night.. have a good evening and weekend.

Ciao all,
L ox

2005-10-27T08:15:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Don't have one.

I hate weddings.

I think I actually really really don't like them. Especially with a couple close people planning their own weddings around me, I've never been more thankful to not be in their high heels.

I'm not against weddings.. it's a thing lots of people do, and they enjoy it - so, Go Them!

But not me.

I don't like the hubub of finding the "perfect" dress that you'll only wear for one evening in your entire life. Stuff like picking certain people to be in your wedding party over other people. Picking and choosing for even the actual guest list. What colours you want, what are you going to drink for the toasts, what are the center pieces and wedding favours going to be... Ugh, no thanks. Is there going to be a bar at the reception.. if so.. is it open till a certain time, open at all?

I think the only draw back to eloping would be that you don't get any presents. Well think of all the money spent on wedding things that you could put towards your honeymoon, downpayment on a house.. or the kitchen appliances you need.

Ugh weddings. Boo.

Ciao.

2005-10-26T11:40:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Tired.

Check out the fringe I just made:

2005-10-25T20:13:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Just thinkin.. aboot garbage really.

I have come to realise I don't believe in soulmates. I'm sure I'll get a couple comments.. maybe not posted, but I don't believe you'll be able to convince me otherwise.
It's not that I'm single and sad about it, that's why I think this.. I have always believed in it.. and I think over time and with work.. you can make it with anyone right? I know God has different people pegged out to be with different people.. but the whole thing of being outside of time, and our free will.. sometimes I think things could have turned out differently then perhaps they could have?

I haven't a baldy why I'm talkin what I'm talkin about.

So.. this morning I had an awful time wakin up.. I heard the piano playing tho.. I thought Michael was over - then thought it was just a cd playing. I got outta bed although I tried not to, and he WAS over! We ended up goign all over Hamilton all afternoon sorting out his car, but things are good now with his truck. Yaaah. We ended up walkin around downtown Hamilton for an hour and a half.. and by 2:30 once we got back to my house we both felt like we'd been hit by a Mac truck carrying the flu.

I layed down at some point not thinking I'd actually sleep.. oh that was AFTER my sick Hot Toddy.. eww grossness.. and ye, I woke up at 9pm. I went to watch HOUSE, but it wasn't on.. so after Without A Trace and Gilmore Girls (finalyl a decent episode!!).. I'm here.

I'm really .. nope.. not gonna write what I'm mad about.
I'm just gonna sign outta here.

Ciao.
L ox

2005-10-24T13:56:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Cold and grumpy.

I'm cold. And grumpy. Grr.

2005-10-19T09:04:00.000-07:00

Current mood: On cloud 9.

So.. I was talkin to the AMAZINGLY awesum Justine this morning and I’ve decided to dedicate this rambling session to her.

So this morning we were just talking about the future and how there’s so much pressure to do things “the right way”.. flip there IS no right way.. and as I said to Justine, “Mac will always be there”.. so go out and experience life!

When I was back in Belfast in May.. God was doing a lot in my life at that point. And He gave me the time and the brain power (cuz we all know it doesn’t come that often) to write out my dreams.

It actually started like 15 years ago.. I used to always do the time capsule things.. and have my hopes&dreams written out and I’d look back at them every couple years and laugh and cringe..etc. Then while in Killyleagh with Laura, we were doing a girls’ nite at her drop-in and the girls wrote out their dreams on a piece of paper and put it in a cool little frame. That night Laura and I spent some time writing out ours and read them to each other.

So.. for Justine.. and for inspiration so that she writes hers out and just is completely excited about this.. here’s mine:

*My dreams - before I die* 1 June 2005.. age 20
() Married with children. Adopt from Haiti and Thailand.
() Become a prayer warrior.
() Get a degree in Social Work from McMaster Uni. *Now it’ll be Sociology*
() Own a black VW Golf.
() Get my grade 8 in piano.
() Teach piano lessons.
() Learn violin.
() Become Auntie Laura.
() Own a “homey” house.
() Travel across Canada, Europe, Thailand, Paris, the UK, and backpack across Australia.
() Design fashion.
() Do a bit of graphic design/web design.
() Get along with the Malloy/Boucher families.
() Write a book of short stories.
() Go back to Haiti.
() Get my tongue/nose pierced. *Got nose done*
() Go on a cruise.
() Run a marathon with mum.
() Run a triathlon with Michael.
() See Anabananna, Leanne, Dad, Michael, Patrick and Jman come to Christ (with about 1000 others too!)
() Go bungee jumping/sky diving.
() Redo my bedroom in my parent’s house in a loft apartment style.
() Join the Canadian Forces.
() Grow my hair real long again. *well on my way!*
() Go white water rafting.
() Read the 50 books in my “must read” pile.
() Train for boxing.. not competing just train for it.
() Do photography.() Get back into painting.
() Get completely feeling better. UGH!
() Design my “believe” tattoo.
() Move out hopefully Fall 2006!

I think it's fun writing out your dreams all the time.. and posting it somewhere where you can look at it everyday and cross them out once you've done them.. and do a victory dance ;) I'm gonna look for my old "dreams" list.. and laugh my ass off when I find it cuz I know I've mentally crossed off a lot of them over the years :) It's class.

People.. we live in such a pressure-nasty stressed-filled world. GO out and do what you wanna do.
Go away on that holiday you've been saving up for, for 8 years.. go online and book it right now!
Jobs will always be here. University will always be here. LIFE as we think we know it will still be here. So GO and have a good time for once.

Live on the edge. Ask out that person for coffee.. and if you get shot down.. then get your friends together for a movie night and cry about it. And then get on with it. Book a cruise with some friends. Take the weekend off and go camping in the woods with your closest friends. Take the afternoon off and brew a pot of tea and cosy up on the couch with a great book. Get your Bible out and ask God to show HIMSELF to you, and expect that He will. Grab a sleeping bag and spend the night outside starring out at the full moon and amazing stars. Hug people. Love people. Send anonymous happy notes through the mail to your friends. Send hand-written letters. Take a hike! Write your life's ambitions out and tell them to people. Dye your hair and get a tattoo. Buy those bright blue boots.. you know they look fabulous with your new outfit. Strut your stuff. Enjoy BEING. Live right now.. tomorrow might not come.. LIVE LIFE LIKE YOU BELIEVE THAT!

Ok.. I feel like Doctor sick Phil or something.. and I know I need a good dose of my own medicine.. and I think with me being so sick at the moment - I'm always saying to myself, "When I get better I'll do some things".. well TODAY I'm out of bed and not too sick.. so I'm gonna DO something with my life.

Ciao all.
Ox

2005-10-18T06:57:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: I wanna just pick my nose.

(You'll understand in a while)

So.. it feels so much longer than just a week that I haven't posted.. I feel completely unattached to my life anymore. That's sad really. That's more than sad. Flip. Well, I'm sure none of anyone's really even care that I haven't written.. that's why I'm gonna write today's post :)

Where to start...where to start.. I've had a very VERY filled week as a matter of fact. Well.. at some point last week I filed for Employment Insurance.. I had been off for three weeks on doc's orders before leaving my job anyways; I was about to file for short term disability then just cracked up and quit instead! Crazy girl eh? If you only knew.

Till Friday my week was pretty laid back.. I just layed around, cleaned the house and slept cuz I have still been sick. (WHAT THE CRAP!?!)

Thursday I was gonna pack up my things for the weekend cuz... well cuz I could :P It took me ALL day to pack, mostly cuz I just left my room all the time. I HATE packing. And this was nothing. It was for just a weekend... psssh that's hardly anything. NO no.. I loooathe packing. So by the end of the day, as it always happens, I just shoved my stuff into my backpack and we were good to go.

Up early Friday morning and out of the house by... 8:30ish. Michael and I had massages scheduled at the college :D My back's disgustingly knotted up everywhere.. oh, it's horribly sore. ((Oh ye, Jman ended up not coming with us on the weekend.. so it was just Michael and I.))
We had to do a bit of running around and then we were on the roadd. ;)
The roads to Kentucky were.. intresting! :P We went up through Sarnia and crossed the scary border there. Not too much traffic at all - it was great! Once we got on the I-75 we were on there for aaaages!!! Flip me. We saw some really hilarious things, some really scary things.. and some things you could put in the "other" folder.
I think we got to the house at about...7...7:30? It took us a little over 8 hours I think.. taking out the "driving around time" at home.. and "pee stops" we took.

Umm ye, so we got to my Aunt Lisa & Uncle Tony's house.. where my cool cousins Rachel, Becky and Brendan live. Tony and Bren were in Canada visiting some friends - we ended up seeing them Sunday night tho, which was nice.
Friday night.. had an AMAZING dinner.. Becky's other half Cint was over.. well most of the weekend, he's super cool! Most of the time either of the girl's friends were over too. They have some really great friends.. and some crazzy friends. lol.. MILLS!!! Anyways. (oh .. my cousins are 17 and 15..(16 in 2 months).. they are cute) So.. Friday night we went hottubbing which was really nice after a massage that killed me. Saturday we slept in for a while.. hung out around the house **I got sick Friday night.. till.. oh, STILL SICK :( ** Saturday we were originally going to be going to a comedy club called "Shadowbox".. but as it turns out it was sold out AFTER we decided to stay in and have a bonfire. Before that tho, we went shopping for Michael to get an EyeToy.. and they played that and DDR all weekend. And I got my nose pierced (hence me wanting to pick my nose!!!) *Parents changed the rule.. I can't get another tattoo till I move out, so I was allowed to pierce my nose instead* We had a fire till late.. went inside played some board games.. and then went to bed. Church in the morning on Sunday... then Clint took us "sight seeing" I was SO sick we had to turn around.. and I went right to bed. :( I felt like such a weekend-ruiner.. but WOW I haven't been that naseous in a long time :( The rest of them played board games.. Cranium and Scattegories until I woke up. I played a bit.. then went back to lay down. My Uncle an wee cousin came back around dinner time. We had a huge roastbeef dinner.. mm was SO good despite that I had a very little appetite. More hanging out with loads of people .. then home at about 11pm. We drove for a long long long time. Ugh. But.. Michael was the only one that could drive the rental car.. so he wouldn't let me take over. I made him pull over since we were kind of all over the road by 5am Monday morning. We were back in Canada.. nearish to London at that point. I couldn't sleep. We were parked next to a corn field.. and the full moon was shining right into my eyes. In the right mirror.. there was an alien head!!!!! It was the shadow of something on the dashboard.. so I ended up having to put a magazine there. It was sick really. Ugh.. freaky.. in the middle of no where.. in the middle of the night.. in the DARK!!! But the stars were amazing :D It was cooooold though. Course.. I had a scarf in the trunk but I wasn't getting out of the car.. I'm sure that there were animals, and monsters in that corn field. :S HAHA.. We got home by the time it was daylight and mum and dad were just leaving for work. I stayed up all day till about 3 or 4pm.. then crashed. And I just work up.. I slept from Monday afternoon till Tuesday morning at 9am!

All and all, it was a really nice weekend despite the fact I don't remember much cuz I was so sick :( But we're going to do it again.. but see if there's like a midnight bus that goes too and from. Cuz if you can go Thursday through the night.. then come back Sunday through the night.. you can sleep on the bus and be sorted!

I took some pics on my phone (since I was SO dumb and forgot mum's digital cam!!!) AAGH. I've tried emailing them to me... but nothing yet. If they come up properly I'll put them in here. They are super random and I'll be the only one laughing about them but that's alright. I do have one pic.. It was me when I got home Monday. Don't laugh too hard, but I think I'm a really big dork too - no worries!

Do you have your headphones/speakers on? Have a listen to the BEST song/vid EVER!!!!
http://www.chrismilk.com/audioslave/
I know a kid called Roco(yes he's Italian) that looks just like that wee kid :)

I think I'll go right now.. I might be back later.. or I'm sure through the week since I don't have a job yet and I'm still.. STILL sick. WHAT THE CRAP'S WRONG WITH ME!??! :(

Ciao all,
L ox

2005-10-11T06:51:00.000-07:00

Current mood: Hungry.. just rolled outta bed.

And OH MY STARS.. I need to quit gurning about my life. I'm fine.. I was probably just a bit tired or something last night.. maybe it was the martini? :P

Going out for coffee with the girls tonite.. yea :D

Ox

2005-10-10T20:14:00.000-07:00

Current mood: "Dang we are so single" .. goodness, that was me the other night when a couple of us single girls were hanging out.

I don't know where to start really.. I've got a beef.. but I'll wait.

So this morning being Thanksgiving an all.. I was thinking way back (actually all the time, randomly.. I write my lists of what I'm thankful for).. so I'm publicising one right now.. cuz I know yous all care ;)

I'm Thankful For:
* Jesus Christ and that He died for ME and my dirty sins and He still loves me everyday!
* My family. My parents are still together, Michael my oldest brother, Patrick&his gf Andrea, and Josh. My mum's parents are still here on earth and amazing grandparents who love me very much. I have loads and loads of cousins who I don't properly get to see, but God's been good.
* My cat. I know you're all laughing already, but he lowers my blood pressure.. ask my mum!
* My friends :) From heaven and earth, Canada and the US, to the UK and around.. they are amazing people and some have brought me SO far from ugly parts of my life. I thank God for you all the time!!
* My health. Yes I'm sick and have been for about a month, but I'm still alive and breathing. It takes a lot of effort to get outta bed most days, but I'm still kicking.
* My parent's house. It's warm and even comfy. There's clean water, and good food and even a bit of craic some days.
* The weather and the fall colours outside.
* MUSIC! I can't live without it. Hearing it, playing it.. just being anywhere with music.. it makes me alive.
* Internet. Totally thankful.. since it's really my main way of keepin in touch with my Norn Irish folk ;) I love yous!!
* The freedom we have here in Canada.. to do just about anything you want.
* The fact my parents still let me live in their house still :)
* My church family.. there are some amazing youth workers that have shown me over time that they walk their talk and that God is amazing! And for some amazing youth in my church that have been vital to my life. AND for the Monday night Biblestudy!! It's incredible!
* Plus about a thousand other "little" things.

So, today was Sarah's 24th bday.. yeaaah :) Dee came down from St.Catherines.. and we went out for dinner. I had my first REAL martini.. gin for those of you who didn't know ;) AND IT WAS GROSS!!! AHAHA it was so funny tho. Later, we went to the arena on mainway to see Dee's friend Matt play hockey. Too bad we were a little late. But it was alright. Made me really sad that I can't play hockey still.. but anyways. The point of this story.. was that I met Matt and oh crap, I can't remember his name. And I'm SICK of meeting guys that are assholes and jerks!!! Like.. obviously.. didn't expect to meet gentlemen tonite.. seeing as though they were just among loads of testostrone-filled jocks that only think about sex. I just feel like there's no hope sometimes, of even meeting nice guys.. just to be friends with. NOT even in a "girl-boy" relationship sorta way. Just a nice person to hang out with.. but no. There are only frikken pschyo's walkin the streets. At this very second I'm sorta talkin about this with someone else.. and I've got it figured out. I'm deadly jealous of my brothers and non-Christians. For they can just pick up anywhere.. and that's ok. But I have to wait forever to see what's at the end of the rainbow.. then find out someone's snagged the pot of gold? That's how I feel. And I'm only ranting a bit.. I dunno what my problem is, that I have to voice it over the internet.. but I guess I'm just being myself. Ugh on people!! :P I think it's just like.. after holiday dinners with friends and family.. an everyone brings their "loved one" to dinner.. and you STILL don't have anyone.. it gets wearing after years.. and I realllllly have to chut up now.

Merde...
I just wanna wear my boyfriend's big hoody's that smell like cologne.
I just wanna go to his hockey games.
I just wanna play cards and scrabble with him.
I just wanna go out fo Indigo and get a coffee and peruse the books with him.
I just wanna go to church with him.
I just wanna pray with him.
I just want him to play with my hair and hold my cold hands.
I just wanna go shopping and be goofy in the shops with him, trying on hats and stuff.
I just wanna dress up and go to a nice restaurant and be all "grown up".
I just wanna rent old films and laugh till I cry!
I just wanna compare battle scars and tattoos and piercings with him.
I just want someone to share bagels and tea with from Tim Horton's.
I just want to sing with someone at the top of our lungs to the oldies like Neil Diamond while road tripping.
I just want to go to his mum's house for tea(dinner) and get all the embarassing stories.
But.. obviously.. it's not for me at this present time.. SO
Double merde.. :( AND LIFE GOES ON.

So.. I'm off this week.. gotta get insurance for Kentucky. Gotta do some stupid stuff like that. Nothing very special.

I'm gonna get outta here.
Ciao all,

L ox

2005-10-08T08:36:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Nonexistent.

But don't worry, I'm not falling into the doom of girliness once again.. I countered Cinderella with the BEST --> Alice in Wonderland.

Then Friday night Patrick an I watched.. the ever-amazing Fight Club.

"Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken" = Tyler Durden

Have a GREAT Thanksgiving weekend everyone.. Thank Him for what you have.. and what you don't have (like.. water up to your ceiling in your house).

Ciao all,
Ox

2005-10-06T19:30:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: come see come saw.

I was at work Tuesday and on all fours cleaning something up.. Debbie walks by and I said "They call me Cinderella".. as she was walkin round the corner she asked "And who's your prince charming".. I just laughed and said "I wish".

Tonite, Thursday night, I watched Cinderella. And I'm dead jealous of the wee girl. Here she is scrubbing away at the floors and then these amazing mice fix up her mum's dress so she can wear it to the ball. Then her horrid family wreck her dress. THEN her fairy godmother rolls in and does her all up frikken hot. She goes to the ball, and as soon as the prince sees her, he knows she's the one he wants to marry. They dance the night away and it's all lovely. Then the clock rings, and she boots it outta there obviously, or else she's gonna turn into a pumpkin! His dad makes one of the buddy's search the entire kingdom for the girl who's slipper she left on the steps. They marry and live happily ever after.

I mean.. who wouldn't want that to happen eh? PSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I can't believe how much my body's been through in the past month.. and I give credit to God, and I'm thankful that He's kept me alive, cuz I'm sure He could make it look like an "accident" if He wanted me dead at this point.

Saturday night Sarah's picking me up after her work and we're having dinner at her place.

Sunday afternoon is our family dinner. The B's are coming. Well.. Mr & Mrs.. and one of the girls. Then from my family.. Patrick and Andrea won't be here either.
I can't wait to eat squash :D

8 more days till Kentucky!! :)

Ciao man.

2005-10-05T05:49:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Completely at peace about the fact that...

Yesterday I quit my job. And it was an immediate resignation due to my illness.

I'm going to take two weeks to get better and make sure things are ok. Then I'm going to go to Kentucky for some hard core fun. Then look for a job. And I suck cuz I was gonna get my nose pierced on this trip, but I have to wait now. Maybe I'll get my tattoo instead :D

Peace out Napoleon.

Ox

2005-10-03T10:41:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Confused.

Well, the results from my blood test all came back negative.. I don't have mono. I didn't think so nearing the end. But it's still strange, I've never been knocked back so hard off my feet by a "viral infection".. which I still have. And problems with my stomach. I think I might have to take this week off as well.. then go back to work on Monday, Thanksgiving(and miss the TurkeyBowl) but that way I can start full steam ahead. And it give's B some more hours while I'm gone.

*sigh*

Ok.. bye

2005-09-30T21:08:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Cold.

I must have missed a couple classes in Home Ec..the days they covered:
1.01 On the Pull
1.02 How to pick up
1.03 Keeping your man happy
I didn't miss the "Cleaning house" or "Cookery&Baking" and even the "Sew you think so eh?" classes.. I know how to do that. Flip, I'm good at it too. I just missed a couple of them classes me thinks.

*21 Years Ago* ... I was in my mum's tummy, ready to pop prematurely.
*20 Years Ago* ... I was 1 and the beautiful baby sister to two adoring bigger brothers.
*19 Years Ago* ... I was 2 and getting into my "rebel phase". I also got a wee brother.
*18 Years Ago* ... I was 3 and still a rebel. I started wearing my cool Strawberry Shortcake shoes, and dressing myself - even then trying to make a statement.
*17 Years Ago* ... I was 4. I don't recall much of Junior Kindergarden at St. Thomas Elementary School.
*16 Years Ago* ... I was 5 and starting in Kindergarden.
*15 Years Ago* ... I was 6 and officially in grade 1 in Mrs. Dufor's class. Justin stapled his hand that year.
*14 Years Ago* ... I was 7 and in grade 2. I don't remember my teacher's name, I just remember being in detention with Brian, and Eric a lot.
*13 Years Ago* ... I was 8 and in grade 3 but in a split 3/4 class and still getting into trouble with the boys.
*12 Years Ago* ... I was 9 and started my first year at home for my 4th grade. I loved being homeschooled; I got to stay in my pj's all day and mum made great lunch everyday and read to us :D I got 4 fish for my birthday that year, they all died within the week.
*11 Years Ago* ... I was 10 and in grade 5. I think that's when my dislike of school started.
*10 Years Ago* ... I was 11, in grade 6, and can't think of anything really here. I started babysitting for family friends.
*9 Years Ago* ... I was 12. That's probably when the angst-Laura started brewing. I was in grade 7 at that point.
*8 Years Ago* ... I was 13. What a bad couple years coming up. In grade 8 at the time. I remember the "highschool graduation" at Brant Bible Church. I started work with Cindy, cleaning offices.
*7 Years Ago* ... I was 14. The pressure of whether or not to go to Waterdown District High School or not. I stayed home. I sometimes wish I didn't. That was grade 9, the beginning of life as I thought.
*6 Years ago* ... I started a 4 year highschool diploma programme with Tree of Life.. (get it.. I started technically in my grade 10 year) at the ripe old age 0f 15. I didn't put enough effort into my education, which I'm already kicking myself for. I started working at #5 Cantina, later to be called Papa Tony's as a waitress and LOVED it. I worked at Marciano's at some point in here too.
*5 Years Ago* ... I was 16. Got my driver's lisence and began the grueling task of driving all over the place with my mum. I'd never do it again if I had to, and neither would she. I was still studying for school. I got Ki :D
*4 Years Ago* ... I was 17 and in my "second last" year of my highschool programme. I hated life more than ever I think at this point.
*3 Years Ago* ... I was 18 and finally finished school. The week before my 18th I got my eyebrow - the beginning of the saga. My grandpa died ten days after my bday. I got a tattoo. I moved to Northern Ireland and did youth work with Youth For Christ and lived with 3 crazyass people - I miss it terribly.
*2 Years Ago* ... I was 19, still in N.Ireland and my gramma died the day I got my celtic cross tattoo on my back. I got my lip pierced near my 19th bday.
*Last Year* ... I was 20. I went to Mohawk College for a semester and didn't return. I started working at Alexander Place scrubbing toilets & I still hate it. I got smore tattoos and piercings. I went back to Northern Ireland for 5 weeks and saw Third Day in an AMAZING concert :D
*Right Now* ... I'm getting older as I write this. I work full time at Alexander Place still. I applied to McMaster Uni this afternoon for $165.00 for Sociology.
:And I'm just starting MY story, the story I can tell generations after me about my life:

(Psst.. not my kiddies.. but my bro's kids)

-Ox

2005-09-28T15:56:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Ify.

I'm a bit.. down maybe you could say. I just don't get what's going on with me. I went to work today, had an early doctor's appointment at half 9, so didn't get a whole lot done at work. Went to the appointment, Jim was very suspicious that mono might be in my body. If it's not mono, I've still had a really yucky viral infection for over three weeks now. He swabbed my throat and sent me across town to the family clinic for blood test. It was my first time, it was wicked watching blood fill up the three viles.. it's strange that the body can just do that.. Anyways. Jim sent me home for the afternoon and then also said I have to take till TUESDAY off. (What am I gonna DO with myself?.. Sleep I guess) I'll know by Friday if I have mono or not. Jim's away from Sat-Thanksgiving.. so if I get worse I have to go see Dr. Mccord.. she's pretty class too. If I still don't feel 100% by next Tuesday I'm not to go back to work until after Thanksgiving - after going to see Jim AGAIN. Flip sake.. 4 times in the past three weeks.. that's the most I've been to the doctor's in like ten years! So.. went to work after the clinic.. to drop off the doc's note and let Amy know what's going on. It's really bad though.. as of next Tuesday I'll have been off work nearly a FULL PAY period.. almost 70 hours! Not good. And I don't think I can even ger any sort of short term disability garbage... I am full time, but I'm also employed under the cheapest and worst company's around. But.. if I do have mono and need to take more time off then I'll DEF be getting my knickers tied up over this until I get SOME sort of deal made with compensation. It's unreal.
As I was sittin in the kitchen just a while ago, I thought "There you go.. Cheryl called it a long time ago".. she figured out my liver wasn't workin 100%.. and look... mono's not good on the liver. My mum says to me "You'll have to stop drinking".. I'm like "Flip woman, I don't drink!!! Can you imagine if I did.. I'm sure I'd be much worse already".. So.. tune in on Friday an see what's happening eh? :P

Ox

2005-09-27T13:33:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Meh.

Ok, not to be morbid.. but I think about dying all the time. Well, the spending eternity in heaven part :D And today, after talkin to a couple different people honestly when asked "How are you"... I've just been REALLY thinking.
**No.. I don't think I have cancer by the way.. this is just me and my mind talkin out loud**
If I was diagnosed with cancer.. I wouldn't be worried. After all, I got to experience my dream come true at the early age of 18. I got to go to Ireland. My life is complete! (YES.. I'm on earth to serve God and give Him all the glory.. but in a "really human" sorta way that's how I feel). I just have been thinking about "losses" a lot lately. Jim(an older gentleman at my church)-we go way back. For as long as I remember, even when I wouldn't hug anyone else.. I always hugged him Sunday mornings. He just lost his brother last year. Jim's nearly 82. His brother was almost 80.. and they were BESTEST friends. That got me thinking "What would I do, if I lost a brother".. and I've come to grips that I'd breakdown BIG time. I'm already dreading Michael moving to Fort McMurray(it's not 100%, but I have to let him go you know.. he's gotta have a life too).. but I don't know if I'm gonna be able to even handle that. Mum and I were talkin, and she's ready for me to be a complete basketcase.. I can only imagine. But it's completely selfish of me to not want him to go. He's gonna do what he wants to do. He's gonna be lovin life I'm sure.. and for that I'll be happy, but it'll be hard.
Then a young mum of two at my Biblestudy table.. just lost her 3 month old baby. (Oh, she was still pregnant here)... and it was really tough last nite at Biblestudy, since this whole thing just happened a week ago. More death. And a lot of mourning and heartbreaks.
But for me.. say if I got cancer(at any point in my life) I'd want to be able to say "Oh .. crappy, but HEY, I got to live and experience things I wanted to.. and GLORY TO GOD I get to go to HEAVEN to BE WITH MY GOD!" Then, once people at work found out the news.. I'd want to be strong about it. I'd want to show them that even in tough circumstances I can hold on to my HOPE in God. See.. last night we were covering how faith and hope go hand in hand. **NO ONE CAN TAKE OUR HOPE AWAY WHEN WE HAVE OUR FAITH IN GOD** How glorious is that? I'd want people to ask "Why are you still smiling when you've got to suffer like this, it's not fair" and I'd be able to tell them that my Lord has called me home finally, and express to them how much the Lord loves and cares for THEM. Especially my family. I'd want my father and brothers to be going MENTAL over the fact that I wasn't worried about dying(they already get freaked out when I say I'm not worried about dying). I'd want my father to get angry at the fact that his only daughter's being taken away from him. I'd want my brothers to appreciate what I'd done for them over the years. And through my death I'd want them to COME TO GOD. I sometimes feel like they won't get the picture until sometime huge happens. It puzzled them that I went away for a year to work for a "god" they chose not to associate with. And even through my dad's loss of both his parents.. NOTHING. I sometimes feel like shaking him saying "WILL NOTHING GET THROUGH TO YOU!?!?" Then I quickly stop myself and remind myself that I'm just a little little LITTLE speck on God's earth.. HE knows what's going on, and Him timing is perfect.
Oh, and I'm totally claim that wee kid's story on House the other day ".. but I've never kissed a boy".. I'd have to find a super cute med student to fulfill that one.. LOL!

But, as of right now - Tuesday September 27, 2005 - I'm alive and... well I'm not kicking. I'm still feelin really crappy. (My orthodics are amazing to my feet though!) I'm getting blood tests done tomorrow morning. And as odd as it sounds, I hope they find something. I hate not knowing what's frikken wrong with me.. I want them to find sometime stupid that's curable!

Ciao.

2005-09-25T17:22:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Not a good one.

Well.. it's about week three an a half of me having a really yucky-sore throat. I was on antibiotics for 10 days which did nothing. People from work think I have mono. I was sick all last week, I never even got my homework done for either of my Biblestudies. I slept as soon as I got home from work everyday. Not cool.
I was really sick today at church.. could barely stand during the singing :S Went to Sarah's for lunch, and it was so good, but I didn't really have that much of an apetite. Went home, slept all afternoon. Picked at some dinner with mum&dad. Had a bath which makes me feel worse all the time. Called a couple people from work, but seeing as though I work with homosexuals and my bosses are even homosexual.. I dunno what's happening tomorrow.
I talked to Lindsay's mum.. and she's got the same thing as me. She had a really sore throat.. went on antibiotics for 10 days, it cleared up for two days(mine cleared up for one) and then it's back to really sore and what's going on!?
I don't have time to go to the doctor's until Friday; my day off.. but I'm gonna get some blood tests.. I'm frikken sick of being NOT WELL! There's gotta be something treatably-wrong with me.
Anyways.. I'm dying here.. Night.
Oh.. and I passed my final driving test on Friday :D Yeah..
And my parents are going to New York for a four day weekend while mum runs her anual Corning Marathon.
Living Worship is on Friday-my day off, but I don't have a car.. and I have to work early Saturday morning.. so I don't think it'll be happening again. Maybe next time.

Ciao.
Ox

2005-09-19T10:27:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: BORED!!!!

Wow.. I'm glad to be doing something tomorrow. Work, finally. I did enjoy being away from the hellish place tho, must say.

Lets see.. I'm nearly done my antibiotics for my Strep now.. yea :)

I got fitted for my orthodics on Satuday morning. Got a massage by sheer LUCK in the afternoon..

Ummm.. tonite is Biblestudy :)

Tomorrow is work. Then pick up my new feet.. Then Biblestudy at Candice's.

Wednesday is work.. and hmm something else that I can't remember.

Thursday is work and acupuncture.

Friday is work and other things that I can't bear to even think about just yet.

By the end of this week I should be able to apply for school. It was supposed to be on the 15th that I could, but of course the internet.. they are always backlogged and etc.

Saturday, depending on if Michael can go.. then we're going into TO for the day.

Sunday I'm going to Sarah's for Sunday Dinner :) Hell ya!!! :D

We have a new youth pastor. He was going to be a firefighter. He's got a bum chin. He's pretty cool.. I just hope he lasts.. unlike others that have come into our church.

I'm wanting my nose pierced in a couple weeks. I asked mum what she thought of nose piercings.. just to see how bad of a reaction I'd get. She actually likes them the most of all piercings!!!! WOOHOO!!! So.. probably getting my nose pierced in Kentucky. Or on the way.. or whatever happens.
I also brought up the idea of me getting another tattoo with my mother. My parents know about the one I'm getting after Christmas.. but this one's .. well, obviously another one!
See.. kinda "funny" thing that's not really funny at all.. is my parents "preferred" me to wait until I moved out until I got any tattoos. They said they'd not kick me out.. but they'd just preffer me not to get inked while living here. Well.. fact of the matter is.. the week before moving out for a year, I did get a tattoo. And my mother and I didn't talk for a week, then I moved to a different country, and it was a while till we were on speaking terms again. THEN I came home with another tattoo. They weren't impressed as it's sorta largeish. But, they knew I was coming home with a celtic cross on my back and a lip piercing (even before I left to MOVE there!) Then... here's the bad one.. I got more tattoos in February while I was in college, but living at home. I didn't tell them until they were healed and I just showed my parents the tattoos. Opps.. pretty bad. Cuz, with everything else I've told my parents ahead of time if I was getting a piercing or tattoo. Not that I NEED their permission, but I'm living in their house.. and if they have a HUGE problem with it, then I'd wait till I was outta the house.
Thus brings us to last nite. I told my mum and showed her what I wanted and where I wanted it. She wasn't surprised lol.. but I asked her if she had a problem with it. She just said "well this is the thing, you were supposed to wait till you moved out.. this could get you into trouble you know".. now.. They never told me "MOVE out before you get a tattoo".. they "preffered" that I waited...((But I wasn't about to try that one on for size at that time! I don't want them to get mad over this just yet)) Soo.. we just sorta talked about things.. and she never said "I'll kick you out Laura".. and never said "I'm giving you my blessing to go scar yourself" lol.. but I'll bring it up later.. let her think about it.. and *gulp* talk to dad about it. BOO!

So.. now that you're really bored :P I'll get outta here.. uuuugh like 5 more hours till Biblestudy!! AHHH what am I gonna do?!

Peace out Napoleon.

Ox

2005-09-16T06:11:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Newsy

I'm just full of news. Some news you'll probably not care about and some you won't even understand seeing as though you might not know the people or situations; but has that ever stopped me before?

I feel like I've got an ugly huge boulder jammed in my throat. I can't even swallow.
I got news from Sarah last night.. and I just wanna cry for Andrea and Colin and their parents. They lost Chris a couple weeks ago. He had cancer, and survived it. And it came back. Just three days after his 24th bday.
Sarah - I couldn't imagine being in her shoes. She hadn't spoken to Chris in a while.. and saw Colin(Chris' younger bro) at the store today. She asked how the family was. And poor Colin had to tell her that his brother just died.
I couldn't imagine.
He's in heaven.. and not suffering. But I just wanna cry for his family.
:(

Other news. Joy.. and Adam! Finally got an update on it.. WOW! Ok.. so if you don't know the story(annd I'm thinkin on Lindsey knows at this point) here it is. Joy is from Nebraska. Adam is from Belfast. They met during Y-1(yes the year out programme that I did.. they were on it the year after me 2004-2005) and I guess you could say they "hit it off".. but Section 5 lol.. no EXCLUSIVE relationships! *Good song!* So.. make a year-and-a-bit-long story shorter.. they both moved to Nebraska when the year was up. They are doing great. They are going to school together.. I'm not sure if Adam's still working as a youth worker with Joy's pastors like planned.. but I know it's all good there! :) Yeaaah. It was a big step, and I was just praying that it'd all work out. It'd be really messy if it didn't work out as planned.

WOW, what a day! Today is the second day of Autumn and it's the most beautifulest day I've ever seen in Canada since leaving a couple years ago. It started POURING rain at about quarter-to-six(ish).. I was woken up by it. It was MAJESTIC and POWERFUL and LOVELY. I love the sound of rain.. good hard rain. This was like the hardest rain I'd heard in a very lonnng time. Reminds me of life back in Northern Ireland. It's really dark outside and eerrie but I love it at the same time. I love it when it's sunny outside, and I love when the moon&stars come out - that's when I really feel loved. But I love the smell that big rain falls bring. I love that nature seems to just shut down and "bow down" to the rain.. :D

I've never been a huge fan of Nine Inch Nails.. but in their new album "White Teeth".. you've GOTTA listen to the song, "Right Where it Belongs".. it's a beautiful frikken CLASS song!!!!! The piano rocks my socks man.. and you gotta play it LOUD :)

Another hotpick song in my books is X&Y Coldplay's "Fix You".. awww.. something about it gives me shivers.

DID YOU KNOW I coulda seen U2 on Monday night? At acupuncture last nite Cheryl said a friend of hers had four tickets & ended up not being able to go - If I had let Cheryl know I was free Monday.. I coulda seen U2 for a hundred bucks. I HATE myself!!!!!!! :P She said the show of course was amazing.. oh man. I WILL see them one day. Perhaps in Dublin :D

So, I'm doing Beth Moore's "Believing God" study right?
**Oh by the way James McDonald, John Piper and Beth Moore are going to be in Hamilton in the sometime soon coming months**
Anyways.. I want to step-up my sanctification for my Amazing God :) So.. I've decided to give up "excess tv watching".. well, anything except for Tuesday nites. I'm allowing myself to watch: NCIS, House, & The Gilmore Girls. And the odd film if I'm out with friends etc. But I spend stupid time after work just crashed in front of Oprah or some other useless programme.. and I don't need it. So I'm excited for the next couple days since I'm still off work.. I'll get some decent reading done :D

Tonite a couple of us girls are going to Janets tonite for some hardcore prayer time. I'm pumped! Haven't done any quality prayer time with anyone from my church in a long time.. AND Marriage Councilling starts up again.. with next Tues. Oh, how I love meeting up with those girls.

My nice-alone day off.. just got a wrench in it. My father's home.. *rolls eyes*.. I wonder why. Oh well.. I'll just stay in my room. And.. I've got a hot date with Lindsey online later today. Ow Ow!!

I got paid today. It's such a good day! My next pay cheque's gonna SUCK! I'll have been off for 4 days .. boo!

I got an email from Nathan.. he's in Russia doing a mission's trip and lovin it. The guy's crazy man!!!! LOL. I miss him a lot tho. Which, lets be honest, never thought I'd think that.

Ok.. I'll let you go now. Enjoy the wet outside.

Ox

2005-09-15T06:36:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Bored & Hungry.

So.. this is day 6 of my liver detox. I have till next Saturday then I'm done. It's DISGUSTING stuff, but I think I'll feel alot better when I'm done. I have to take the crap on an empty stomach, so I took it at about 9:15 this morning. I have to wait about 20 minutes to take my antibiotics that I have for my strep soon. THEN I can't even eat for an hour still. That's right, I have frikken strep throat. I am messed and pissed man.
I'm not even allowed to return to work until Tuesday the 20th.. that's 6 days off in total! I'm going to go batty I'm sure.. but at least I'll be able to get some things done around the house that are in need of getting done eh?

God is who he says he is!
God can do what he says he can do!
I am who God says I am!
I can do all things through Christ!
God's word is alive and active in me!
I BELIEVE GOD!

So my awesum older brothers and I are going to spend a shopping day/weekend (yet to be finalised) in Toronto soon :) Michael an I are gonna meet Patrick and Andrea(Andrea lives there; she's at Med school in TO.. and Patrick's there every weekend) and hang out for a bit, go for coffee.. Patrick and Andrea will prob go their own way for a while, while Michael an I hit all the frikken awesum thrift shops :D WOOHOO!! I'm so chuffed about this. Then either for lunch or dinner we're gonna go to some really nice place and kinda splurge.. just enjoy life right? "Wear your pearls, use your good silver.. life's too short!" AMEN to that man!! (Heard it on tv, but it's pretty much my life's motto) That's what I say to my dad anyways whenever I get new piercings/tattoos: "Awwk Dad.. who knows I might drop dead tomorrow.. just let me enjoy my life! :)" Anyways.. so I'm lookin forward to spending some quality time with Michael, Patrick and Andrea.
SPEAKING of ... I was talkin to Patrick last nite.. and he was all 'mad' that he thinks he'll be the first to be married. I was like "Why care? What's the problem?" And in a VERY-Patrick like way he explained that Andrea wants a really nice wedding.. and that we wouldn't ever be able to keep up. I was like "Frik.. do we look like we care to compete about weddings? Michael and Josh wouldn't care.. and if I ever got there.. I'm getting eloped! SCREW the wedding uugh!!" But after shaking my head at how scary his wedding would actually be.. he said.. him and Andrea are probably gonna get married in this 3rd or 4th year!!! That's next year or the year later!!!!! :) This is exciting. He's been with her for over 5 years.. it's about time I'd say!!! :) But ye, he's never been one to talk to me about "marriage" stuff.. and ye, he brought it up. I'm excited :D
There's gonna be a lot of that shite happening in the next two years.. scaaaary bikies!!

But HEY!! I can take my anti-biotics now.. ciao.
Ox

2005-09-09T18:13:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Nose plugged. Damn allergies.

So... work was ACTUALLY incredibly crazy. I don't think I've seen it that FRIKKEN messed up before. But. I can't talk about it. :D YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Soo.. at about 3:12pm this afternoon a boyfriend woulda come in SOO handy! I was bootin it home.. course I was stupid and asked Jman to drive me this morning so I didn't have my bike on the way home :( BOO!! It was so hot and my feet are SOO dying for orthodics-which is only gonna make it more hellish until they are used to them, but oh well.. let's NOT go there eh? Ye.. while I was walkin home rather hyperly.. seein as I have the weekend off !!! :) ((Insert boyfriend driving Laura home - LOL))
As I was walkin between two streets... I saw this little figure holding up binoculars looking back and forth.. once I got closer I waved at the wee girl while I was passing her. She looked over the bino's with the HUGEST grin on her face and waved back and was just BEAMING! I asked her if she could see far thro them things and she was just enthralled "YES they are AWESUM!".. lol ohh so cute that kid.
Later.. as I was walkin thro the park.. the whole boyfriend issue came up again. I just wanted to go home, have a shower, get all dressed up sexy and go for dinner somewhere then watch Amelie or something. But that passed!! LOL!
Instead of a hot nite out.. I went to SuperPet and bought food for Ki. OH my sad sad life on a Friday nite. But you know, I'd not have it any other way. As it is, I'm listening to the soundtrack to Amelie.. cuz I can't stay awake if I watch tv at this point. I'm wrecked, shattered.. knackered.. SO in pain!

CHERYL'S GONNA SEE U2 ON MONDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so jealous!!! But Jack Johnson's in TO sometime soon.. and The Dropkick Murphy's are here in Nov.. maybe Michael and I will go see em? I just wanna go to a REALLY great concert. Haven't been in a long time. Oh there was Third Day which no-doubt was the MOST incredible one so far in my life.. but I want another one :D I'm greedy.

Did I say that I've figured out what I'm gonna study at McMaster Uni yet? :) I'm SO excited.. I just wish I was starting this week instead of NEXT YEAR. I hate working.

I saw a girl that I went to primary school with today!!!!!! I was just so shocked! She's amazing, so she is :) It was SO cool to see her. She looked at me and said "You look SO grown up!!" (Good thing I didn't have those pipi-pony tails in like yesterday lol) I was thinkin "Flip, I'm not grown .. but SHE looked so grown up".. I hadn't seen her proper since like 4th grade. That's been a while.. lol.. umm 10 years.

I'm going to Kentucky soon!!!!! In 5 weeks :D WOOOHOOOO!!! It'll be SO much fun.. and Josh and I will probably come back half-murdered. Ugh.

Ohh, I love The Proclaimers :D

Ox

2005-09-07T15:57:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: WOW knackered.

I'm so jealous.. my mum and dad are going to Rome where my mother will be running a marathon over the March Break. *green with envy* :P I wanna go.. but I don't think I have a the pennies exactly. I COULD have the pennies.. but I also COULD go to jail for robbing a bank or something like that.

Other news: Ladies and gentlemen... they are back to school and I'm AGAIN jealous. I think I hate working full time. They sorta treat me like an adult *ALMOST* at work now.. lol. I can't believe some of the kiddies I know tho, are off to UNI already!!! Yikes man, do I feel old, and I'm not even THERE yet. Oh man.

There's a new woman that started work this week called "Dilys".. she's AWESUM!!! (Dill iz) is pretty class.. her hubby is from Glasgow.. so I immediately liked her. She was saying her brother in law still lives in Belfast.. *ahh smiles* So.. I had B'fast on the brain all day right? So.. talkin to BigPaul (yeeeo! I love that guy) and I was tellin him "Ye, so she told me her hubby was from Glasgow and her brother in law's still in Bfast.. I was dreaming about it all day" and Paul says to me "It'll happen".. I was like "Here, I'm talkin about the BELFAST part not the hubby part!".. but between the two of us, we've sorted it out. I'm going to marry a firefighter who plays hockey that's been signed to the Belfast Giants! HOW class would that be? Not in my world mind you, but quite frikken cool if you ask me :D Ohhhh man, firefighters can be quiiiiite fit! :D WOOP WOOP!!!!

Well.. It's so far past my bed time, it's 2 minutes past 7 in the evening, I need sleep. Yesterday I fell asleep on my bed at 4pm. Work up at half 8, switched over my laundry.. then went back to bed till 6am this morning. I'm trying to wake up for 6 every morning now instead of half 6. I feel too rushed when I'm up at 6:30.. so this'll give me time for a cuppa at least..

Ok.. have a good week all.

L ox

Psst. Sorry for the oh, so droll posting!

2005-09-05T08:26:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: I totally don't feel in the LEAST that I'm missing anything. Goodness.

I'm a bit maddened by the situations at hand. Wanna see em?

Michael.. lives with Bob&Ashleigh.. they are wonderful and great people. But are completely into wicca and pagan stuff. I don't judge them, but sometimes I don't feel comfortable partying with them..etc. At least Michael's not dating demon-Carol anymore. She was actually the devil incarnate. Long black hair, capes, and spells. Uugh!

Well.. now Josh's new woman.. goodness.. again, into wicca and pagan stuff. She was at the pagan festival! Good for her for finding an intrest? Josh is just turning into a big man whore.. it grosses me out, and makes me angry.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY BROTHERS!!?!

Ox

2005-09-04T20:28:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Less grumpy :)

Nothing a bit of sleep will cure eh?

Work was pretty much crazy today.. uugh.

I got to talk to Jessie today (new mummy one).. she sent me some pics of her beautiful baby boy Gavin... awk the wee teddy!! :)

I watched "Guess Who" at Sarah's tonite while waiting for Jman to ring me. I liked the film.. cheesy and corny, but I love Bernie Mac.. LOVE him!

Josh never rang when he told me he would, but I was soo tired-being up at half6 this morning already an all.. so I rang his mobile...and then he phoned back and I went to pick him up. Gee, I'm so glad he feels so comfortable to just mack it up with Jill while I'm waiting in the driveway for him. Goodness. GROSS.. aw..sick really.

So between mum and me and Cheryl*acupunturist* .. I think I know what's wrong with me a bit. I have poor circulation (after bleeding nearly black blood outta my calf one nite) We're thinking it's cuz my liver's blocked up/screwed up a bit. Aceteminaphen(soo didn't spell that one correctly) is in loads of over-the-counter and prescription drugs. If taken in excess; could cause some..'discomfort'. Well.. when I had the 'shoulder problem' back on Y-1, I was prescripted to take 2 paracitemal 4 times a day, ALONG WITH 2 aciteminaphen 4 times a day. I was on them drugs for over a couple months.. while every day I felt sick.. since I probably killed the lining of my stomach at the time. Well.. I have felt naseous everyday for like a YEAR. (But of course, nothing's frikken wrong with me.. I'm just complaining) So.. some of the 'side effects' of a blocked liver are naseous and stomach problems - ding dong! There's my problem!!! So I'm going to do a liver detox. I'm not really looking forward to it.. but I'd rather cleanse it now than have something get worse right? I'm just so glad that my family genes are as strong as they are.. like diabetes,breast&thyroid&skin cancer, heart problems,arthritis&gout.. oh BOY.. I've got loads to look forward to :P

Well.. I'll have to get a pic of Gav up here later.. it doesn't wanna cooperate with me at the moment.
Ciao all,

Ox

2005-09-03T18:45:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Unbelieved.

It's a frikken JOKE. I wasn't even in my parent's house more than 2 and a half minutes and my mother and I were having it out over the lights in her car. I WANT TO MOOVE OUT SO BADLY.

SWEAR WORDS.

I'm going to bed.

2005-09-02T19:30:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Can't sleep again.
I need a night shift job. I hate not being able to sleep at night knowing I have to wake up at half six.

It's just my allergies and crap going round my head that's keeping me up at the moment.

I dyed my hair tonite.. it's really bright/reddish/purpley/crazy in bright light. :D Ho ye.

I watched Mona Lisa Smile. I think I thoroughly LOVE that film. Not that I've ever been engaged.. or even involved with anyone lol, but I somehow relate to Julia Roberts' role in that film. Perhaps it's just my underlying independence streak in me.. who knows.

And now that I'm writing this out, after my last comment.. sounds a bit rare.. but oh well. I was shopping with my mum the other day and she was lookin at jewlery - when she does this, I normally would wander and look at just about ANYTHING else but jewlery. This day was different. I saw a few pieces that were actually stunning - under the glass. I'm sure most things would look weird on my hands. But I decided at that moment that I was going to buy myself a diamond. After I get a car. YES I understand it could be 5 years down the road. But..I want to. I, for a few split seconds in rare moments.. think that I don't give myself enough credit for just being "me"..which is complete NONSENSE!!! LOL.. I'm not here to have a good time with life.. my LIFE is to honour God above all else. But I think I still want a pretty ring. And I could just get some fake thing.. but I have this pride issue right? (I'm just diggin myself deeper here tonite) and.. I want to be able to say "frikken RIGHT this is REAL" lol. I told Patrick and he just laughed at me; as he does.. just about with everything. See... he bought his woman a very expensive ring I think two Christmases ago.. an he mentioned he's gonna get her some earrings to go with..for this Christmas. (That's when I told him I was gonna buy me a hot diamond ring. Here's the part he laughs and makes fun of me/scolds me)... he politely added he'd NEVER buy me anything like that - I dropped the subtle "well.. like you could buy me one for my bday if you like"..lol.. and we all know my father's position on that sorta bollocks.. shiii, ye. Plus I'd NEVER feel comfortable wearing a ring my father gave me..I've been having crazy thoughts about him lately. Like how I could never picture him walkin me down the aisle. Maybe cuz I think Michael would be a better choice.. or that an elopement would more likely happen. LOL.. I love how I just act like I'm in the process of actually MAKING those kind of choices! I kill me.

Ohhhhh.. if I could only sleep. I'd love to be able to sit up and write about nonsense all night, but that's just not practical :D I love that I'm a dork. I really do.

Ohh man.. I heard an amazingly.amazing song this morning while in Patrick's car. I was kinda gobsmacked when I found out it was NIN!!!! There's this amazing piano in it.. and it builds up to big and loud..but DEF not typical 9inNail stuff.. I'll have to get the title.. not that you care but.

OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!! I found Holly Hobbie greeting cards today! It was a momumental moment.. oh corny. But exciting :D

Well..I'm sure you're thinking "what a frikken crack addict" SO.. I'll be off.

Ciao all, I'll be thinkin of you while I'm at work this weekend!

-Bovril
(You won't get it unless you're my oldest brother.. in which case.. heheh!)

2005-09-01T21:37:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: I just want to SLEEP.. but on the eve of a really busy/important day that I might write about later depending on how it turns out.. of course I can't sleep.

So tonite Candice and I went to visit Sarah. It was a regular marriage counciling night, just not all the girls were able to make it. Kev was over makin sure his baby was alright after her teeth surgery. But he left. Woohoo! Kidding.. he's cool. But he did leave.
We talked about Candice and Sarah's wedding plans (not to each other.. UUGH! :P) And the like. I have a rough time with this sometimes.. you see.. I'm not in their positions of arranging weddings and the like. Quite the opposite.. and I need to get my head outta my ass already about it.. cuz frankly.. I'm exactly this, SINGLE. Single, unattached, no potentials even in sight, alone, on my own, whatever way you wanna say it.. so be it. And I need to stop having frikken pity parties about it cuz that's not helping the matter.
I think I really do long to get married.. I don't care about the wedding, I really don't. Cuz I don't wanna marry my wedding dress, or the silverware.. I want to marry a GUY. A really GREAT guy. I want to be his lawfully wedded and AWESUM wife. And I think I'm not gonna get that till I'm 27. It clicked in me after Candice dropped me off. See.. what I want in a guy... a 21 or 22 year old guy isn't gonna be. That simple. I want a guy who's so dedicated to the Lord that I put my entire faith in. I want a guy who will challenge me in my faith. I want a guy to make me feel loved and special (something I deal with big time..).. and I KNOW for a fact.. that right now I'm not ready for that. And I'm not ready to be a wife.. goodness can you imagine?!
So maybe this whole thing God's teaching me about having complete and utter faith in HIM first, and desiring HIM first.. is that HE's just telling me "WAIT ON ME"...
Who knows.. maybe I will be finished uni and have my own place.. THEN God will bring some hot ass with tattoos to me.. and I'll be 27.. or even older.

I hate the way I get sometimes. I hate that I'm ungrateful for the full time job I have. I'm ungrateful for the almost-free house I live in. I hate how stupid I get!! AHHHH BOOO.

That's me.. now maybe I can sleep now that I've posted somet eh?

Ciao all,
L ox

2005-09-01T07:30:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Home from work still sick.. I did this survey a while ago, but I have time to post it now!

How tall are you? 5'4"
Do you own a gun? Why do you have tickets to the gun show?
Rehab? What about it?
Have you ever killed an animal? Ants, grasshoppers, stick bugs – all with a magnifying glass and sun. I was a mean kid.
Are you Irish? My father iss first generation Canadian. My grandpa’s family was from Ireland, but he got born in Scotland.
What do you think of hot dogs? I don’t like the puppies, or the “food”.
What's your favorite Christmas song? “Love is all around us” from Love Actually!
What is your favorite smell? Outside.
What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Tea please.
Do you do pushups? I can’t at the moment cuz of my shoulders.
Have you ever done ecstasy? Can’t say I have.
Are you vegan? Not a proper one.
Have you been shot? With numerous things, yup. But not with a Full Metal Jacket or anything.
Have you ever been hospitalized? Not over night, but many visits.
Do you like painkillers? I had no stomach lining after 6 months of taking them, NO I don’t like them!
What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? Frik, would you let ME know if YOU know?
Do you own a knife? I used to have a butter knife from Swiss Chalet.
Do you have A.D.D.? It hugely runs in the family, but I’ve never been diagnosed.
Do you love the pain a tattoo brings? WOW, yes.

Top 5 thoughts at this exact moment:
1. I wish I was in Northern Ireland.
2. Sometimes you can’t make it on your own.
3. I need to go out with Candice.
4. I could go for a drink right about now.
5. My feet hurt.

Top 5 favourite movies right now:
1. Four Brothers.
2. Braveheart.
3. Amelie.
4. Bridget Jones’ Diary (I&II).
5. The Notebook.

Top 5 ways you feel right now:
1. Hungry – I’m just making some popcorn.
2. Wrecked.
3. Shattered.
4. Knackered.
5. Tired.

Last 5 people you talked to:
1. Aaron my cousin in Calgary.
2. Lindsey from Belfast.
3. Dan, my father.
4. Patrick, my older brother.
5. Becky my cousin in Kentucky.

Name the Last five Things You Have Bought:
1. 2 Stamps to Northern Ireland.
2. Clothes for work.
3. Food.
4. Sandals.
5. Hoody.

Name Five Drinks You Regularly Drink:
1. Water.
2. Black tea.
3. Juice.
4. Water.
5. Water.

Last time you Cried, and why?: While ago, cuz I was upset with God.
What's In Your CD Player? A cd I burned.
What CD player? The one on my dresser.
What's Under Your Bed? A couple hat boxes, a photo box, artsy fartsy stuff..
What Time Did You Wake Up Today? 6am.
Current Hair? Reddish.
What are you wearing? Blue Nike baseketball shorts, Yellow&blue “42” jersey.
Current Worry? I don’t worry.
Current Love? Rice :D
Current Hate? Earwigs :P
Favorite Place To Be? Up North
Least Favorite Place? Alexander Place(the hellpit I work in)
If You Could Play An Instrument? Violin.
Favorite Colors? Black & Red.
One Person From Your Past You Wish You Could Go Back And Talk To? Lindsey Haire!!!
One person From Your Past You Wish You Could be with Right Now? Lindsey Haire!!!
Where Would You Like To Go? Australia, Greece, New Zealand, Rome, Thailand, Northern Ireland, Scotland, England.
Where Do you want to live? All over. I just want to retire in Canada.
Favorite food? Rice, Pasta, Popcorn, Carrots, Broccoli.
Color of most clothes you own? Every colour.
Number of pillows you sleep with? 1 or 2 or none.
What do you wear when you go to sleep? Boxers and a tank.
What were you doing 12AM last night? Sleeping, I get up early you know.
What do you think you'll be doing in 10 years? What do I THINK or HOPE I’m doing in 10 yrs? Only God knows that answer.
Are you paranoid? Not really. But I trust no one :D
Do you burn or tan? Tan.
First piercing/tattoo? Piercing - ears at like.. 8 yrs old maybe? Tattoo – “brother” in Irish Gaelic a week before I left for Northern Ireland to do Y-1.. at age 18.
First enemy? We won’t go there.
Last person you yelled at? People at work.
Last crush? I fancied Ben, big time.
Last thing you ate? Popcorn.
If you could be a pirate, would you? Hell yes.
Last time you had sex? Sex on the beach.. last Thursday :D (THE DRINK)
If you could be with anyone right now, who would it be? Lindsey
Best Sex you've Ever Had? Is yet to come.
Your full name? Laura
What songs do you sing in the shower? Not really applicable here.
What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? My brothers.
When and why did you last vomit? Had what Alexander Place thought was Norwalk. Last Christmas& New Year’s.. wasn’t all that plesant.
What's in your pockets right now? No pockets in these shorts, but I just found a 20 in my jeans!!
What color are your bedroom walls? Blue sorta.
Last thing that made you laugh? Can’t remember, most things make me laugh.
Best bed sheets you had as a child? Sesame Street.
Favorite childhood pet? Buffy, my first bunny.
Any pets now? Ki, my killer cat.
Do u like your teeth? They come in handy boy.
inny or an outty? Inny.
Favorite restaurant? n/a
Describe your fingernails? Cut short cuz of work.
Worst injury you've ever had? The rusty nail going almost right thro my foot, then me ripping it even more. It hurt.
What are your dreams like? I rarely remember them any more.
Do you wear contacts or glasses? Both.
Do you have any piercings? A bunch in my ear, my eyebrow(that’s growing in) and lip.
What shoes do you wear: Depends where I’m going.
What are the last four digits of your phone: 6554.
If you were a crayon what colour would you be: Red.
Have u ever won any awards: Ye.
How many TV's do you have in your house: 3. Only one works tho.
Do you sleep with stuffed animals? There is an elephant on my bed as I write this.
Have you ever sprained/broken/fractured a bone or gotten stitches? Broke my arm, sprained loads of things, gotten stitches on my chin where my teeth went through them, and on my foot where the nail went in.
Who do you tell your dreams to? Depends what they are about as to who I’d tell.
Who is the loudest friend: Sarah or Shawnda.
Who is the quietest friend: Depends on their moods.
If u could pick one person to make out with who would it be? No one I know lol.
What song do you want played at your wedding? I was made for lovin you baby – KISS.
Lights on/off: Off.

1. smoked a cigarette – Once.

2. smoked a cigar – Nope.

3. made out with a member of the same sex – Nope.

4. crashed a friend's car – Nope.

5. stolen a car – Nope.

6. been in love – Nope.

7. been dumped – Yes, but not by a boyfriend.

8. done a shot? – No thanks.

9. been fired – Nope.

10. been in a fist fight – Course, I’m a MALLOY!

11. snuck out of your house – Probably.

12. had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back – My life’s story.

13. been arrested – Nope.

14. made out with a stranger- Nope.

15. gone on a blind date – Nope.

16. lied to a friend – Yes.

17. had a crush on a teacher – GROSS, nope.

18. skipped school- Yes.

19. slept with a co-worker – Nope.

20. seen someone die – I see lots of dead people, I work in an old-folk’s home.

21. been on a plane – Yes.

22. thrown up in a bar – Nope.

23. done painkillers – Taken them under doc’s orders.

24. miss someone right now – You bet.

25. laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by – All the time.

26. made a snow angel – Oh yes.

27. played dress up – When I was wee.

28. cheated while playing a game – Course.

29. been lonely – Plenty.

30. fallen asleep at work/school – I used to sleep while waiting for my da to pick me up.

31. used a fake id – Never needed to.

32. felt an earthquake – Nope.

33. touched a snake – Yup.

34. ran a red light – Yup.

36. had detention – ALL the time!

37. been in a car accident – Yup.

38. hated the way you look- I’ve had my moments.

39. witnessed a crime – Depends on your definition of “crime” these days.

40. pole danced – AHAH not me. Lindsay’s gotta pole in her basement tho!

41. been lost – Yup.

42. been to the opposite side of the country – Not my country nope.

43. felt like dying – Yeah.

44. cried yourself to sleep – Loads.

45. played cops and robbers - Who hasn’t?

46. karaoke – I love to watch that’s all!

47. done something you told yourself you wouldn't – Yes.

48. laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose – Oh yes.

49. caught a snowflake on your tongue – All the time.

50. kissed in the rain – Nope.

51. sing in the shower – Sometimes.

52. made love in a park – Nope.

53. had a dream that you married someone – Nope.

54. glued your hand to something – With crazy glue no less.

55. got your tongue stuck to a flag pole – No, but I watched Rob loose half his tongue!

56. worn the opposite sex's clothes – Yup.

57. been a cheerleader – AHAH noo.

58. sat on a roof top – Yup.

59. didn't take a shower for a week – Yup. Camping people camping!

60. ever too scared to watch scary movies alone – Sometimes.

61. played chicken – Yes.

62. been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on – I wasn’t pushed, I was lifted fireman-style over Jon’s shoulders and went in off the diving board with him.

63. been told you're hot by a complete stranger – Nope.

64. broken a bone – Yesm.

65. been easily amused – Quite.

66. laugh so hard you cry – Yes.

67. mooned/flashed someone – Yup.

68. cheated on a test – Yup.

69. forgotten someone's name – Yup.

70. slept naked – Nope.

71. gone skinny dipping in a pool – Nope.

72. been kicked out of your house – Not really.

73. blacked out from drinking – Nope.

74. played a prank on someone – Yes.

75. played strip poker – Only watched.

2005-08-28T17:56:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: About to be really vulnerable.

I haven't been posting like I used to.. cuz frankly there's been nothing nice to write about. I've been feeling like Job lately. I felt like I had NOTHING. I felt that everything was being ripped away from me. Nothing to cling on to (probably His point eh?) Everything seemed to be crumbling apart.. right underneath my sore weary feet. THEN

Last night, the 25th of August in the year 2005.. lol (jokin).. I had a mental breakdown. I hit rock bottom harder than I've ever hit it before-oh yes, I've done this before, but this was an incredibly hard fall, and I just feel bruised and never wanting to get up. But I already did get up. Good thing.

Candice is amazing, and was online and I chatted to her for a bit, and I cried a bit.. but NOTHING like today. Today is Sunday. Oh wait.. I'll start before then.
So last nite, after FREAKING out about what's going on (or not going on in my life).. I was lying in bed and talkin to God. It's so true.. the time you give your WHOLE self up, that's when you're closest to God. I felt it last night. Anyways, I decided that Sunday I would fast&pray about direction and understanding to my life. I KNOW with 150% of myself that Jesus Christ is my loving Saviour and RIGHT BESIDE ME.. but I couldn't feel Him. I knew He has my entire life planned out for me, and knows what's going on.. even down to the orange spill I have on my tank here :P But I couldn't see my life going anywhere. I couldn't see God's direction in it. I couldn't see CRAP all.

So this morning I woke up with the excitement of yearning for God's grace and merciful love in my life. I want to KNOW what He's got for me. I want wisdom and understanding. I want guidance. I want peace. I want HIM. I want to know and BELIEVE Him.
I went to church this morning (without telling mum about my fasting&praying yet.. I wasn't sure if I was even gonna tell her) and saw Janet. Janet was one of my youth leaders that brought me SO close to God when I needed it most. She's amazing, and one of the greatest influences in my Christian walk. I haven't seen her all summer.. and it's odd for me to just blurt out "everything" all at once.. but I did. I just told her about the night before, and how 'messed' I was. She was so excited to hear about my decision to fast&pray about it. She prayed for me before church started.. and it was so great! I love her so much, she just emanates(oh, big word!) Christ's love and passion in others!!!!! :)
Church was AMAZING! Since I only get there now every other Sunday I seem to just cling on to it. The worship was amazing. The songs were everything my heart desired to show God. I was in worship with my Lord in ways that I haven't felt in a long time. It felt like just me and God. I heard no one else around me, I just felt God's presence and loving arms around me. The sermon was on Psalm 63.. we are going through a series of "Songs of Hope" (WOW.. God's amazing eh??!) The points that Steve struck on were "Want God, See God, & Rest in God".. It was exactly what I needed to hear over and over. There were things in that sermon God's been pressing on my hear over the past week - I love it when you just hear stuff over and over like that.
When we got home from church.. something came up.. an I wanted to say something, but I didn't know how. So, I just said nothing. I went outside and sat in the shade with my book and Bible and started writing out what I wanted to accomplish and what I wanted accomplished THROUGH and with me today. Mum called me inside to help her on the computer. God's sneaky ;) I told mum that I was hungry.. lol and that I was fasting&praying. She suggested that I start my "Believeing God" by:Beth Moore study.. right now! Before I got back outside.. I broke down. I told mum everything that happened Saturday night. ((If you don't know my relationship with my mum.. then this is no biggie.. but I wanted to tell her what was going on in my head SO bad, but I didn't even know where to begin)) Now she knows everything. The CRAZY bollocks that went on in my head regarding: Relationships, University, Work, Car and everything but the kitchen sink. I cried and cried and cried. I don't like crying. ((another shocker if you didn't know)) I was so tired when I finished pouring EVERYTHING outta me. I was so hungry. My eyeballs and whole body hurt. I haven't cried and talked to my mum like that, since... hmm I think it was probably 7 or 8 years ago.
I spent the afternoon outside listening to the Mr C's fountain, swatting away the bees.. and drinking all the liquids I could. I had tea, which you're not supposed to have caffine.. but I really needed that therapy after exposing myself as I did.
I went inside at about 4ish I think.. and I had a wee LOVELY nap in my bed. I woke up at 6ish.. made my lunch for tomorrow.. and I ate some dinner.
*GASP*
Yes, yes I did. I talked to God.. and He knows my heart.. and my fast didn't stop with me eating some pasta. I'm still in fasting mode here.. I'm so I-don't-even-know yet.

One thing God's been teaching me especially in the past three days is that He's showing me HIS heart through mine. I'll come back to that in a wee moment.
But first some things that I've read in "Captivating" by: John&Stasi Eldredge that stick to me like a bad case of cat hair.

"We feel unseen, even by those who are closest to us. We feel unsought - that no one has the passion or courage to pursue us, to get past our messiness to find the woman deep inside. We feel uncertain - uncertain what it even means to be a woman; uncertain what it truely means to be femenine; uncertain if we are or ever will be." ((AMEN))

"But don't you see that you want this? To be desired, to be persued by one who loves you, to be someone's priority?" ((Umm, soo what I'm desiring, so much that it hurts))

"The desire of a woman's hear and the realities of a woman's life seem an ocean apart. Oh, we long for romance and an irriplaceable role in a great story; we long for beauty. But that's not the life we have. The result is shame." ((Dead on!))

"The Essence and purpose of a woman is unveiled here in the story of Eve's creation. These, profound, eternal, mythic themes are written not just here in the coming of Eve, but in the soul of every woman after. Woman is the crown of creation - the most intricate, dazzling, creature on earth. She has a crutial role to play; a destiny of her own. And she too, bears the image of God, but in a way that only the femenine can speak. What can we learn from her? God wanted to reveal something about himself so He gave us Eve. When you are with a woman, ask yourself, "What is she telling me about God?" It will open up wonders for you. Firstly, you'll discover that God is relational to His core, that He has a heart for romance. Second, that He longs to share adventures with us - adventures you cannot accomplish without Him. And finally, that God has a beauty to unveil. A beauty that is captivating and powerfully redemptive." ((And you thought God was just all about the lightning bolts and golden gates? He's passionate and SOO strong, and loving and cares about relationships. He's ALL about the relationships :D))

"One of the deepest ways a woman bears the image of God is in her mystery. By :mystery: we don't mean :forever beyond your knowing: but :something to be explored: God yearns to be known. But He wants to be SOUGHT AFTER by those who would know Him. There is dignity here; God does not throw Himself at any passerby. If you would know Him. You must love Him; You must see Him with your whole heart. This is crucial to any woman's soul; not to mention her sexuality. :You cannot simply have me. You must seek me, persue me. I won't let you in unless you love me:" ((See what I mean.. reading this and mulling it over all week.. then having parts in the sermon this morning, awesum!! This is a biggie with me and God at the moment. I long to be sought after, to be seeked out and persued. And God's saying "Get yer head outta yer ass, *I* want YOU, Laura, to persue ME first!!!! I want you, I need you.. come off it" (Well, maybe in a different sorta way lol) Cool though eh?))

"Just like God, a woman is not a problem to be solved, but a vast wonder to be enjoyed" ((VAST is right anyways! LOL))

Well.. with those REALLY womanly things said.. I'm gonna go.

Ox

2005-08-26T12:07:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Not so good.

I went to work this morning only to leave 3 hours later.

I went to the dentist yesterday night and got my first two fillings, on the back back molars. My mouth didn't stretch in ways she was asking me too. I'm sore now >(

I also took a spill on my brother's bike two days ago, cut up my leg and KILLED my crotch! And what does my two bosses say to me? Oh, they just laugh. I love being the cheap entertainment at work.

Remember the hot guy Ben from work? Well, apparently he's leaving at the end of August, we'll still have Matt.. but no more Ben. The last time I saw him was yesterday.. sad.

Ever wonder WHY you get the most phone calls when you're trying to avoid that sheat? Well my brother Josh wasn't working today, so he was just waking up when I got home (surprise! normally he's not up till about 3pm) But he was in the middle of his chores and crashed.. and is sleeping on the couch. He makes me SO mad that one. All he does is curse us all out to high heaven.. and sleep. So, he's got a phone right under his arm there on the couch. Yet has never bloddy answered the frikken thing. Me, who was asleep in my be cuz I'm feckin sick today, had to get up and answer like 5 phone calls. Then I had enough and went downstairs. And what happens? It rings TWO MORE TIMES and he doesn't get it. So just now I layed into him about why can't he just answer the darn phone. He says "Boy you're pissy today".. I was like:
HELLO. I'm HOME from work sick today. My entire body feels like I've been hit by a mac truck(from the spill on the bike). I had tylenol in me by 7am, and I still don't feel great. I can't eat practically anything, my mouth KILLS. I'm tired and I feel naseous, and he wants to know why I'm PISSY!?!?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I'm going back to bed since I need to get up and pick my brother's car up at the GO station in 2 hours.
UUUGH.

L

2005-08-21T19:20:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: LOVING the weather.. oh crap, open your windows.. it's 10:20pm and LOVELY outside!!!! And a day past a full moon, it's nice and big.

Possibly the funniest thing I heard today.
A wee gentleman friend of mine says to me, "If you had a younger sister I'd think about dating her"... lol.. I think I'm supposed to be appreciative of that comment? LOL. Funny kid. He meant no harm.. he was trying to get at like -if I had a sister and she was like me- sorta deal. But thank the good Lord above I wasn't graced with a sister. EW.

2005-08-19T21:00:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Elated. Jesus just came and rang the doorbell.

You don't believe me? Ok.. so about 3 minutes after posting that "oh look at lonley laura, she's such a whiner".. I went into the kitchen and saw the newspaper that got delivered late tonite *I think it's for Sat tho*.. but anyways.. the Flamborough Review.. local newspapers ROCK my socks!! I was just flippin thro as I always do.. and DONAGHADEE WAS IN THE PAPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You see, when a "Flamborough Review" reader goes on holiday and brings an issue of the Review with them & gets a photo of their trip and the paper in it.. the Review will post their pic. There's a woman in the picture with the Donaghadee Harbour in the background.. I love it. I just thought of Lindsey and Noleen.. and missed them dearly.

Then I went to show my dad who was awake and in the computer room. We heard a noise.. that faintly sounded like a doorbell but not really. Anyways.. he went to go check.. and two girls were at the front door (at like 11 something) and askin for ME! It was Candice and Justine!!!!!!!!! They are incredible those two. They went to visit Michelle who's sick.. and brought her flowers.. and they also brought me two cards and some sweet sweet sunflowers! Like, they don't even KNOW how much it meant to me!!!!

God's amazing you know that? It's not too often that I've complained or prayed for something.. then RIGHT AWAY.. and by right away I mean within 10 minutes, the prayer's answered. I think God's amazing. I know He's got me single for a reason, and here I was complaining about being lonely-so he sent my two AMAZING friends over! He knows best.. and I love Him for that.

Ok, but I gotta go to bed, I'll scan the newspaper picture for Lindsey tomorrow after work, then I gotta email those girlies.. then ye.. go to bed and work again! But.. goodnite!!!
OX

2005-08-19T19:31:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: I can't sleep. And I just heard this song on my cd that I burned years ago. Wow, I forgot how much I can relate:

Caedmon's Call - Table for Two

Danny and I
Spent another late night over pancakes
we talked about soccer
And how every man's just the same
We made speculation
On the who's and the when's of our futures
And how everyone's lonely
But still we just couldn't complain

And how we just hate being alone
Could I have missed my only chance
And now I'm just wasting my time
By lookin' around

But you know I know better
I'm not gonna worry about nothing
Cause if the birds and the flowers survive
Then I'll make it okay.
and given a chance and a rock
see which one breaks a window
and see which one keeps me up all night and into the day.

Because I'm so scared of being alone
That I forget what house I live in
and that it's not my job to wait by the phone
For her to call

this day's been crazy
But everything's happened on schedule
from the rain and the cold
To the drink that I spilled on my shirt
'Cause You knew how You'd save me
before I fell dead in the garden
And You knew this day
long before You made me outta dirt.

And You know the plans that You have for me
And You can't plan the ends and not plan the means
And so I suppose I just need some peace,
Just to get me to sleep.

I'm sad and lonely.. and 21 years is long enough to never have anybody. But who am I?

2005-08-19T08:36:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Bustin a gut - I LOVE it!

Ok.. well I'm talkin to my bestest friend in Northern Ireland-Lindsey AND on Dylan Moran's website.. and I'm giggling big time!

Well, I'm talkin to Lindsey about everything - as you do. I'm describing Ben to her.
Ben is mysterious. That's a very good word to describe him.

**be back**

Well, I'm back folks. Michael just came over when I was writing that. He was home TRES earliy from work, and came over! We watched one of my fav films... The Boondock Saints :D Ohh. LOVE it. It's frikken quality eh? Hoo man.

So, it's 3:55pm.. and I'm bored bored bored once again. So, I'm back.. to write about Ben.
Flip me, he's gorgeous! It took me probably three weeks to think he was hot, but wow.. is he making up for lost time :P Him and Matt are guys from a temp agency.. contracted to strip..(the FLOORS) and wax em and make the floors in Alexander Place sparkle. They are actually very good at their job. I had many reservations about them.. you know two random punters from Hamilton of all places lol.. comin in thinkin they were the bombsiznit (Lindsey!!) :) But Matt is so polite-you'd not expect it, he's a little skinny white boy with the bling happening, but he's so utterly polite, almost annoying. Then there's Ben, and unlike his counterpart is nothing of a chatterbox. He barely says "hi". Maybe that's why I'm so intruiged by him. I think I fancy the pants offa him... cuz he's shyer that I am. If he was THAT hot.. and all talkative to me, I'd just run away. But as it stands.. I try to talk to him, and ye, you don't get much outta him. But.. HOLY.. serious looks this guy owns. LOL. He's got dark brown shagy hair, tattoos ALL over his arms and some on his legs (he's always wearing these very very nice army camoflauge shorts. Ahh, and the studded belts.. WOW I'm a scuker for them. :D I like nice teeth ok.. but WOW he's got really nice teeth. Adam has some niiiice teeth, but this guy can smile! WOW!!! LOL. He's got dimples big time too. But.. ok.. his eyes.. I don't dig light eyes. I'm a dark-eyed girl.. they are definately more hot then blue eyes... but he's got this funky light coloured eyes. They are FREAKY weird. But, alas... he'll be gone soon I'm sure, and then I'll never see him again. CRAP I hate that.

Stiner and I were supposed to go over to Candice's tonite to chillax.. but Candice just emailed me, she's at work and is stayin overtime. Good for her.. might as well eh?? It's probably better if I'm not out tonite anyways, I can be in bed early.. BOO!!

OHHHH!!!! Well, I can't get my hopes up, but there might be a chance for me to job change!!!!!! But I don't know if it'll work out. I won't find out for a while I don't think. And I can't change jobs unless I get the same $$ or more, I need full time hours, and I need benefits.. I can't even get benefits from A.P. for a couple months.. but they are crap anyways. But see, I'm no longer insured as of October.. so I might be a loser soon :(

I want more tattoos. Oh man. Bob came home the other nite and showed Michael a new tattoo he got. It just looks like a regular black-inked tattoo. Well there's an "invisible" outline around it.. that GLOWS in black lights!!!!! That's amazing. That means, I could potentially get sleeves done and not have a future employer judge me by it!!! HOW CLASS IS THAT!?!? but I want more see-able tattoos. The "Made in Canada" tattoo I'm gettin on my ass with Sarah n Dee.. I think it'll be a lot longer than Christmas until we get it. But they are convinced they will be ready by Christmas. There are some rules they have to follow that's why. But for my bday I'm going to get my tongue pierced. Since I can't get my eyebrow re-done at this point in my life :) And I'm also buying those purple cons... lol sometime!!! LOL. (Watch in twenty years I'll finally get em).

*Ohhh, back spasm* So not good. :S

Song of the moment: Are you ready for love - Elton John.. WOW old school memories of Y-1 with that bad boy!!!!! :) :) :)

Check it out.. tornado warnings for toronto!! >>http://sympaticomsn.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/1124477195313_2?hub=TopStories<<

Ciao all,
Ox

One of my fav quotes.
Dylan Moran ON HANGOVERS:
"All my organs seem to scream in a unanimous howl. My body is revolting on me. It is mutiny. The hangovers have become far more devious. In the old days you at least knew you had one, because it used to wake you up and you'd feel like death all day. But then you get a bit older. You wake up and you think you feel OK for about ten minutes. And then you go into the kitchen, and the hand of pain slips into your bowels and grips you with its icy fingers and then it's much, much worse. It's unimaginable. Suddenly it sidles up to you and puts its arm round you and gives you this frozen kiss. You are there - f*cked. All day. Several days."

Maybe I'm laughing more cuz I remember seein one of hs stand-up acts on tv.. an I was CRYING I was laughing so hard! :( Miss that

2005-08-17T17:57:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: In pain.

I've HAD it. I don't know what else I can do anymore.. I'm physically... a wreck.
If you don't know what's going on with me then.. good for you, you've gotten away with it eh? But I'm sorry if you've already known about what the feck's going on with my body.

I have no life whatsoever... I go to work. I'm so phsyically sick and sore everyday I'm ready for bed by 4pm. I'm usually in bed by 9pm these days.So.. I've been suffering physically for a long time now.. like BAD right? So.. whatever, my mother doesn't think there's actually anything "really" wrong with me.. I'm just a frikken whiner. (OH man, I could smack her sometimes!!) But.. see lately, I don't sleep cuz my shoulders are in so much pain right? Then I go to work.. and I can barely walk. The bottom's of my feet are ridiculously WRONGLY sore.. I've been gettin acupunture faithfully every week.. normally about 15 needles whatever. Tonite I had acupunture. I had 21 needles. I had them in both my hands, both my elbows, both my shoulders and all on my feet. Now, I dunno if yous have ever had acupuncture before, but unless an area is super inflamed.. the needles generally don't hurt. Well *as I fight tears.. oh God what's wrong with me* my body's so sore that most of them hurt a lot. But the ones in ANYONE'S feet hurt.. it's just a really sensitive area... so.. I get loads of needles in my feet and it's HELL.. can I say that again.. I'm in so much agony it's not even cool anymore. *tears*.. ah shit.Whatever... so like it just pisses me off sometimes that my mum has no quams about saying I'm just a feckin whiner when I'm honestly on the verge of tears gettin treatment. Tonite anyways, Cherly told me I have to get orthodics. The arch in my left foot has fallen( since over compensating for my right foot).. my right knee is turning in. MY back's so feckin sore and screwed up.. and I've been hurting like this for two years .. ALL because I've been in need of orthodics and no one ever told me that's what could help. I'm just so sick of being sore and feeling naseuous all day long. So.. at least if I get my feet cleared up then that'll let me get more treatment on my shoulders. As it is, she can't put any more needles in me.. it'll overload my system sorta thing. Work's killing me.. oh man, I'm crying like a banjee here. The full time hours are doing my head in. (The pain has a lot to do with it.. so hopefully things will clear up soon).. but I'm just utterly stressed and grumpy and I hate my job with SO much of me. I hate being like that. I haven't spent much quality time reading my Bible .. I've been talkin to God loads, but I'm still doggin the devotions which pisses me off. Josh hates my guts so much, he hates all of us... and I'm sick of it. I wanna slap him an tell him he's got it good here. He's got a roof over his head, FREE food.. free hydro, etc. He's such an attitude problem and it completely wears me out just SEEING him - cuz I know he's gonna bitch and swear at me for hours on end. I want someone to love me.. I want someone to love. But I don't want it at the same time. I have NO time for anyone. I work and sleep and get stressed. I don't go out anymore. I don't talk to anyone.. I'm a frikken hermit!Piss, I did NOT mean for this to be all "ohh poo rLaura".. and please don't be like that.. just pray I get into God here.
I know pms is getting to me too.. but I can't deal with this anymore.
Ox

LOL.. I love Jonny.. the other nite he told me I needed a serious holiday (poor kid doesn't even know HALF my story here).. and I was like "what's a 'serious' holiday?" You know what he replied? "Sun, Sand, Surf, Sex, and a couple other "S" words".. flip is he right!@

2005-08-14T19:10:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: My eyeballs are sore from being open too long.

Church was amazing this morning and the passage was incredible.. Psalm46.. a song of hope. JUST what the doctor ordered.

Michael came over for the day, we hung out and had a great dinner. Then Patrick was too busy with Andreastuff, but Michael&Joshua&myself went to see "Four Brothers"... it's AMAZING!

It was filmed in TO... MarkyMark's character is from Barrie, Ontario (although I never caught it from the film, I watched a -behind the scenes- sorta dealio. But, ye, violence and language was up there, but definately MY kinda film. Nothing thicker than blood, even if they are a brother from anotha motha!

Wow.. Jman is in a mood.. hoooooly! His blogg.. is actually TOO explicit to even copy and paste some things on to here. But it was all four letter words and how much he hates his family. Goodness, he needs a wake up call.

I will write later. I must sleep and then start the CRAPPY work week all over again.
Ughh.

Ox

2005-08-13T20:17:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Feelin a bit stoned myself..

It involved a baseball bat, a knife, marijuana, a girl, two guys, loads of yelling, a policeman.. and it was all in my front yard!
Just at about 10:30pm I was sitting down eating somet at the dinner table.. and if you've ever sat where my mother normally sits at the table, you'll know that you can see about two feet of the road through the front window. Well, that's where I always sit when it's not a proper meal.. anyways, I saw two guys going at it. I thought it was all jokes, then the yelling was huge. The guy in the red shirt was RAGIN! And he was the one with the baseball bat having at the smaller guy (who turned out to be a kid.. like 15 I'd say, but it was dark before houselights fave off hints). Anyways.. I was gettin a bit concerned, went to tell mum that there was a fight going on, then by the time I got back to the front window my neighbour S was out on the front lawn tryin to keep things semi-under control. By now, there were two other kidboys and a girl. Later I'd find out they were what we call in the business, "witnesses". :D I'm such a dork eh? So.. the smaller kid that was gettin beat on, his dad shows up.. and then moments later the copman shows up. I was SO excited to watch someone get arrested.. and NOTHING! The cop talked to the getting-beat-up-kid and his dad for ages, then talked to the three doorknobs - oh, witnesses sorry, and then talked to the guy that was doing the beating and his "woman".. oi! They were flying high alright.. like I said.. I feel strung out myself, just for watching them for the past couple minutes. I don't know what started it all, but once the cop was done in the front yard.. he went to the park *if you know where I'm around.. there's a park behind my house.. loads of bush parties back in the day..etc* and he told some jackasses to turn off the music and break up their homosexual party. I swear I heard him say EXACTLY that! :) Heheh .. well close. He was gone as fast as he came. But I guess the guy and girl were at the party-in-the-park *Oh that's catchy* and then somet happened? I was really waiting for the blood and spit and then handcuffs.. but nothing.

Ahh well, I guess that's why there's "COPS" on tv right? LOL!!!!!!

In other random news.. I now have two paper lantern lamps - one's like 6 feet.. and the other's a wee table one. I also have attained a wall clock with a pendulum thinger. I LOVE those thingers! I ALSO *check me out eh?* bought this frikken kick ass sweater from Sears .. on sale.. normally 40 bucks, I for it for 26. Then I got this other wickedlyamazing IRISHGREEN sweater.. normally 35.. I got it for 6.99. I love the bargins I find :D Now that's me-done shopping till Christmas, I've been cut off!

Bovril

2005-08-07T19:17:00.000-07:00

Current MOOd: I saw loads of cows on the way home from Port Elgin :)

WOW.. What a weekend. It was crazy. I'll tell you all about it.
So, work sucked the big one on Saturday.. I work with losers.. so I was late gettin home, and I was raged. And my shoulder hurts like a bandit since I was doing the 8hr laundry shift. I started at 6:30 so I could get home by 3. I was home *cough* roughly 3ish. Ye. Whatever, I got home, grabbed a shower (how DOES one do that anyways?) and then waited for Michael to get here. He ended up at work strangely enough and then was over by 4ish. We left the house around 4:30.. it was SO much fun going up there.. we had some great Frank Sinatra music playin for probably the last hour since that's all the stations dad's crap car picked up. It was GREAT. Oh yeh, but Michael couldn't even snap his fingers since he injured his right hand that morning-dumbass.. I'm glad it was nothing too serious that he lost his fingers, but he might have done so good damage to those fingers. Oi :S
Anyways, we got up north at like... hmm I don't even remember now, it was still light out, got stuff sorted.. and just hung out, had some dinner, went for ice-cream at ScoobyDoo's (the apparently best place on earth, but I disagree). Oh ye.. so the Beauchamp's were up right? Like.. mum&dad's best friends are Ken&Nancy.. (they are like my uncle and aunt.. and their two girls are like cousinly sisters).. Ken&Nancy go up every year and mum and dad started renting the cottage next to them. Alyssa and Steve(he's frikken class) were up it was so nice to see them! So ye.. we all shot the shit at the ice-cream joint.. and then went back home. Mum&dad were wrecked.. they went to bed. Michael and I went over to the B's cottage for a drink. I didn't want beer.. so Lyss made me a really nice Sex On The Beach (oh yeh!) We sat around our campfire.. lol.. *citronella candle*... and just hung out. We were in bed before midnight ... and then I was up at the crack of dawn. Well, before acutally. It was dark when I awoke.. I think it was about 6:30. Dad was up about an hour later since he was going out golfing with Ken at 8. I just hung out.. read my book.. and waited for more signs of life in the cottage. I went down to the beach when mum was up (I didn't want to leave without having a key to get back in when everyone else was still sleeping.. and I couldn't write a note). So, I went to the beach (OH YE... the cottage was like 2 min walk from the beach, AMAZING!!) and there was no one there. It was frikken sweet. The sun was shining and so the sand was warm on my bare feet, just the way I love it. I walked along the fine sand for a while. I gathered some wicked rocks for my inukshuk. I sat on the swing for probably a half hour .. ahhh :D People started floating about then. I went back to the cottage, mum was outside reading, Michael was STILL sleeping. I hung around the cottage for a while more, then at like 10ish we woke Michael up. Went for breky at the little seaside restaurant. I have amazing peameal and coffee. By the time we got back from that it was just noon. Steve and Lyss were just on their way out.. we said byes.. Michael and I went to the beach. Mum stayed back to read more then hang with "Beauma"(nevermind). Michael and I walked in the water up to our knees.. for two hours! It was a great workout. My quads are gettin real strong from biking, but this was a good alternative since I didn't bike today. I love just being with Michael, he's an amazing brother and bestfriend. So, ye.. we walked for an hour towards the sun-all the way to another beach. He had to pee, then we walked back with the sun at our backs. It was awesum, we got a work out, AND got a tan. :D By the time we got back to the cottage.. Michael was pooched *long story*.. I went to the beach for another hour .. he stayed home reading MY book! Then we packed up and left for home. (Michael lives in Hamilton and works in Toronto .. leaves at like 5am).. so we headed back early to get in before the rush of traffic. We stopped off at "Sandy's" restaurant for the GREATEST fish&chips. Yes, even better than Ramsdens :D Anyways... lol after a LOT of laughing and singing and being crazy.. we're home. :(

Oh here.. some things that happened this "weekend" as I call it.
So, as I'm sure you know.. my mum is a runner. And a marathon runner.. not some 'just around the block' sorta runner :P Over the 2hour brekfast that the three of us had while dad was golfing, we discussed a lot about running and athletics. Now, if you know my mother.. she's DEAD against tattoos.. ahahaha.. she dies everytime she sees mine, but she's gotten loads better for sure. But.. long story.. the boys she runs with - they call themselves "The Penguin".. and they call mum "Mama Penguin".. since she's the oldest one.. and SO frikken motherly. AHAH. But this is besides the point, I just wanted to let you know why she's obsessed with penguins now ok? So Lisa, one of the girls wants them all to get penguin tattoos since they are all doing these marathons together..etc. This is the first I've heard of this, and I think it's AMAZING! Michael and I were takin the complete mickey outta mum cuz she WANTS one, she's just afraid of LIKING it. And we were just really gettin in her face about it right? Especially me, having more than anyone in our family.. etc. So, we were definately razzin her about that. Then we were talkin about triathlons after that.. and I said how much I'd like to do one, but with my foot and shoulder injuries at the moment, it feels like it's a helpless case. But once those injuries get fixed I wanna start going to the Y to do lengths. I already to a lot of bike training, and I'll be able to pick up my running training with mum here and there. But mum(since I was still makin a huge stink about her penguin tattoo) said to me, if I did a tri, she'd get a TATTOO!!!!!! I was just gobsmacked and SOO hyper after hearing that. She also accompanied it with "You don't have the mental toughness to do a triathlon".. I was like "OH ye? Flip me, WATCH!".. and so Michael, mum and I are gonna do a triathlon together within the next couple years. It's a big thing for mum (water that is).. and Michael and I are far behind her.. physically trianing wise.. so it'll be fun I think. I've gotta heal first.. but I'm gonna prep myself mentally and go from there.
It's funny.. I think tattoos are like "scrapbooking" on yourself .. like, I'm going to get a tattoo for every country I go to. And if I do a tri.. I'm MOST definately getting a tatoo for it.. etc. :D And I just razz mum now, cuz she's at the point where she can joke about tattoos without fainting :D I love it.

I had loads more to write about up north, but I canny remember anything now.

Oh yeh! So my friend's 7-year old..has childhood epilepsy. There is a 90% chance she'll grow out of it by the time she's 15. God's AMAZING! Hanna, doesn't quite understand why she's gotta take 2 wee pills a day for a couple years.. but it'll be ok. Oh MAN.. what a relief! God's great!
2-4-6-8-my-big-God-is-really-great! *Only if you've seen the chocolate milk adverts will you understand that randomness*

But my life... OH the stars!!!! SOOOO bright and clear and so many :D Ahh, I was in my element I tell ye :D

But anyways, I'm hurting.. ciao!
Ox

2005-08-05T17:56:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Pretty sweet. Listening to my hero-BifNaked.

I found those photos Michael got for me when he went to a singing at the Burlington mall when I was working one afternoon. He coulda touched her, he was that close. And some wicked awesum pics he gave me :D

Anyways.. I found that T-shirt I was lookin for from Reebok(boo) .. it says "Royal Pain In The Arse"... hehe :D I also got a shirt for a 5er... that says "All the good ones are gay".. lol... my mother even laughed! I tell ye, that was the day I never thought I'd be alive to see. My dad thought I was phsyco; but when does he not these days eh?

Well camping in Cookstown was an adventure. The Friday we left was a very very long day. As it drew to a close we were quite "edgey".. you could say. LOL. But over all it was awesum fun. Got to do a bit of swimming. We got to be inside the biggest thunder&lightning storm I've ever encountered in my lifetime. IT WAS HUGE! Got to do some shopping(who'da thunk.. on a camping trip?) Ate some great food... and drank some great drink.

Home from Cookstown... and stayin at Sarah's for two weeks while her parental units are gone. It's been nicer to bike a shorter distance to work, and on the way home it's the best.. all downhill! :) So, week one coming to a close .. now that it's Friday nite. I have to work at 6:30 tomorrow morning. I'm NOT impressed! But I'm starting early, so that I can leave at 3. I'm going home.. to the Malloy residence and then going to Port Elgin with Michael for the night and Sunday afternoon. I'm lookin forward to just crashing on the beach and just relaxing away from work. Then we're home Sunday night.. then I have Monday off too. I have a staff meeting to go to BOOOOO.. it's frikken 4 hours long. But I'm leaving early.. I have a dentist appointment. So, my day off isn't gonna be the most pleasant since I'll still be at work for part of the time. Ew, I hate when that happens. But work's a lot better now, now that I'm full time. I only get screwed over on my days off.. which are every other weekend.. and then every other Friday and Monday.

Boy, you can tell it's a Friday nite.. remember the way I used to get Lindsay an Meg? Well, it's just like that tonite.. lol. I'm home alone at the moment. Daniel's off jamin with the boys and Sarah's at work till 9pm.
It's funny I was reading Lindsay's blogg the other nite.. about the pressures she's feelin as a single white beautiful female. It's tough.. I don't feel "pressure" persay, but sometimes it hits me like a brick(ha) that I'm so far from having one of those "lives" I kinda want. You know the one that you come home from a hard day's work - work that is tough, but so fullfilling, working with third-world children in a Christian adoption agency [you even get to dress up in 'hot librarian' kit sometimes too] .. and put on the dinner - lasagna that you made over the weekend and stuck in the freezer; with fresh rolls.. and then clean yourself up - tie your hair up in a lazy bun, wash your face.. and turn on the radio&dance like a silly kid. Then a cool guy(with tattoos that you think are so dam hot) comes home from his work.. and you pour some red wine, eat dinner together and chat over tea after dinner.. you have something.. .. something I've never had.
Right now the life I have right now consists of going to a job that I dislike a lot - treated like scum, come home.. shower.. veg on my own, go on the computer or read some, then eat some dinner - normally on my own, then go on the computer or read some more, then go to bed dreading waking up to go to work again.
But I also see me having one of them other "lives". You know the one that consists of you coming home from the job that you thoroughly love, to a small but tasteful apartment - funkily decorated, with quirky items scattered about the joint. There's that killer cat roamin about the place.. and that's about it. You peel off your shoes, and practically fall on the couch and turn on the tv to watch some news. Later, when you can get up, you go to put some leftovers in the oven.. put on the kettle.. get on the computer to pull up some music, and spend another evening on your own. You go out for drinks with friends later that night, then get back home - not too late, so that you're in bed.. in your quiet home... gettin sleepy and thinkin about what's gotta get done the next day at work.

At least my devotional life has picked up since talking to Lindsey about how it was lacking a bit too much. God's good, He answers prayers! And I know he's tryign to teach me something big here. I've scrubbed toilets since I was 13.. THIRTEEN. I'm STILL scrubbing frikken toilets. I told God I wanted Him to teach me the lesson already, to let me move on. But He's got a sense of humour that one. Just when I think I'm a servant.. He puts more "servant"y work on my plate.

I don't know how many of you know this here, but my friend Helen has a 7 year old beautiful daughter called Hannah. She's been diagnosed with epilepsy within the last couple weeks. But it's sickly rapidly getting worse and they are in the process of finding out if she has a brain tumor. I don't ever know what to say to Helen at work *we chat a lot*.. and I just want you to pray for Helen(mum), Tom(dad), Fiona(older sister.. age14 I think) and Hannah(7). Hannah's a STAR! She's actually such an amazing kid. She's not mad at God for anything that's happened to her so far - she doesn't quite get everything, if you know what I mean. She doesn't understand the urgency or consequences about what's going on. But she's just completely 100% given herself to God. She knows that whatever happens it's cuz God has a plan, and that's the way things are. So please keep that family BIG on your prayers. Thanks.

*My actual life*
I need to be wearing my glasses to answer the phone.
I floss my teeth everynight.
I want more tattoos.
I don't work out but I wish I had the discipline to.
I love watching films about WWII.
I've never kissed a boy - except for when I was little, or saying "bye" to people in Northern Ireland.
I don't like the phone, but I love text messaging.
I like wearing dark eye makeup.
I love most of the residents in Alexander Place, and I'm already missing the handful that have died in the past couple weeks.
I have friends all over the world.
My fingernails look like shite.
I love my legs.
But I badly need to work on my tummy.
One of my favourite places to be is up North, watching the sunsets, listening to nature, then having a huge campfire and smelling the smells of a campfire.
I have way too many songs memorised by:Avril Lavigne, Kelly Clarkson, The Dixie Chicks, Brittany Spears.
I don't like going to the Christian Book Store in Burlington.
I love pretzels.
I don't know my father, I'm getting to know my mum, I love to hang out with my brothers most times-but one of them hates my guts.
My dad and mum liveed 11 houses apart on the same street*Michael and his first girlfriend lived about 20 houses apart on the same street*Josh's girlfriend used to live just a couple houses down(but moved when she was like 7), creepy.
I love the Waterdown Library.
I love Curly Wurlys.
Hot chocolate&Bailey's is a great before-bed drink that actually makes me fall asleep.
This 43 degree weather makes me a grumpy old woman, I look forward to the 16degree autumn-"sweater weather" as I always called it.
Sarah's home from work.. yipee.

Ciao all,
Ox

2005-07-28T17:11:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: I feel like a ticking timebomb.

Anyways.. I just sorted my packing out. I HATE PACKING!!!! RRRRRR. It wouldn't be bad IF I wasn't stayin at Sarah's for two weeks. See, I packed my stuff up for camping this weekend (OH YEH... going camping FRIDAY SATURDAY SUNDAY AND MONDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) but I also needed to pack all my crap up for work.. and then clothes that will last me at least a week at Sarah's. Her parents are gone for two weeks after we get back from camping. And Dan's friend Dan is gonna be down from Alberta.. so Sarah wants some company. SOoo.. that's me.. at Sarah's for the first two weeks of Aug. But.. the first Saturday of Aug.. I'm gonna be going up to Port Elgin with Michael (mum&da got a cottage for a week up there).. so we're going for Saturday nite and Sunday all day. I'm STOKED! :) But then .. back to working full time at .. BOO Alexander Place.. and stayin at Sarah's the rest of that second week.

Uugh.. but packing's taken it out on me.. I think I'm gonna get a drink, watch some telly.. and then hit the sack since we're leaving early tomorrow :D Woop woop.

Well.. lets hope and pray for peace in Northern Ireland. Today the Irish Republican Army(IRA for some of you dolts who didn't put that together), after decades of terror, announced it would permanently abandon military operations.

Long - and violent - road to peace
Major events in the struggle over Northern ireland:
1921: South declares free state. Civil war rages for two years. Northern Protestants remain loyal to Britain.
1937: Irish Free State (26 counties in south and west Ireland) proclaims independence, not recognized by Britain until 12 years later.
1955-62: Sporadic attacks by the Catholic Irish Republican Army against British in Northern Ireland and England.
1968: N. Irish Catholics launch civil rights campaign.
1969: British army sent to Northern Ireland to quell worst clashes in 50 years.
1972: British troops kill 13 Catholic protesters on "Bloody Sunday" in Londonderry.
1972: British government introduces direct rule in N. Ireland.
1979: IRA steps up attacks on prominent Britons.
1981: Ten IRA prisoners starve to death in hunger strike designed to secure political-prisoner status.
1982: N. Ireland assembly elected; boycotted by Catholics.
1984: IRA bomb at British Conservative Party conference kills five.
1985: Anglo-Irish agreement gives Dublin government a consultative voice in N. Ireland.
1994: IRA announces cease-fire, matched by pro-British guerrillas. British officials hold first open meeting with Sinn Fein in more than 70 years.
1996: IRA ends cease-fire; multi-party talks on the future of N. Ireland begin; Sinn Fein is excluded.
1997: Adams and chief negotiator Martin McGuiness win seats in British parliament but decline to take them up. IRA announces "unequivocal" ceasefire. Two Protestant parties quit talks in protest at lack of IRA commitment to hand in its arms.
1998: "Good Friday" peace deal follows marathon talks to end conflict and devolve rule. Elections to a new Northern Ireland Assembly held; Protestant Ulster Unionist Party (UUP) leader David Trimble elected first minister designate. Car bomb in Omagh, N. Ireland, kills 29 in worst single attack in nearly 30 years of violence. IRA splinter group claims responsibility.
1999: Province gets own government in which Catholics and Protestants share power, ending 27 years of rule from London.
2001: Trimble resigns over IRA failure to disarm; reelected when IRA puts some arms beyond use.
2003: Assembly elections boost hard-liners.
2004: Blair and Ahern open summit to reach a deal. IRA guerrillas later refuse the photographing of their disarmament, the last sticking point in the drive for a political settlement.
2005: Trimble resigns as leader of the UUP after poor results in Britain's election. Hard-line Democratic Unionist Party (DUP) of Ian Paisley surges ahead. IRA pledges to dump arms, commits to political solution in N. Ireland.

2005-07-23T20:10:00.000-07:00

Flip me.. what a whinge there eh? Holy.. somebody shut me up!

2005-07-22T22:53:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: I can't sleep.. it's 2am, and I'm lonely.

I was just lyin here in bed.. and I started prayin for people over in good ol Norn Iron when I started to pray for someone who hurt me. I know it's good to do that, Jesus asks us to do that. I got upset tho sorta, when I thought about it.
We're told to love one another. By loving people we are sharing our hearts with one another.. eventually giving out hearts to them. I was just in pain thinking about how many people I gave my heart to over there.. and not many I don't think even think about me, let alone bother to care to write or let me in on what's going on in their lives.
I just don't understand how I'm supposed to go on living.. perhaps another 80 years.. with giving my heart to people and not getting anything in return. It's draining, and it hurts. I want to be the sort of person that is approachable and a caring and kind person, giving my whole heart to people, but at the same time, I'm already tired of being so hurt. I guess only with God can I get through. That's why He lets us suffer.. so we draw closer to Him right? I think I'm getting pmsy as well.. I just feel so vulnerable and lonely and unloved by the ones I wish would love me most. WOW it's definately pms. Mucho sorry on that one.

MOVING ON.

Josh just walked in.. it's 2 frikken am. He hasn't been home in a couple days. I swear that kid could get away with murder and it'd be ok. He doesn't have a conscience .. along with NO respect for others.. he's a heck of a show.

Uuugh, I want to sleep right now so that I can get up at like 9ish and enjoy the morning outside.. with a cuppa.. and just relax until noon, then go to work. But I tell ye, by the time I fall asleep tonite and then get enough sleep I'll be racing around gettin ready for work. I'm going to actually DO my hair tomorrow. No one gets to see me with presentable hair since I don't straighten it or anything at 6am. Do you? You phsyco .. Ye I'll blow them all away with my dashing beauty. Holy crap pms takes over my body. I sometimes wanna even look pretty!!! AHHHH. Ah well. I've got a very loney two days ahead of me at work. No one's there (except whoever's doing my shift) at nite.. only one lonely person who happens to be me tomorrow. BOO!!!

Until later.
Ciao

2005-07-22T15:46:00.000-07:00

Today...

I got a poscard from Italy.. from Lindsey!!! :)

I held two of the wild baby bunnies that are in our backyard. This is a second round. The other bunnies, there were 5... were bigger.. and it was a while back. These ones were bigger than a pingpong ball but smaller than a tennis ball.

I got a package through the UK Post... it was a giant purple star pillow from Julie via Laura. :)

I got news that Matthew Cardwell age 19 died in a motercycle accident in Bangor, N.I.

Today is yesterday's tomorrow.

2005-07-22T08:19:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Cute but Phsyco
There's the bomb shiznat! Woop woop!! LOL!!!!!

Oh boy... So I've always wanted to adopt kids right? There's NO way I'm birthing children (so if you're my future hubby out there reading this thing.. good luck trying to convince me - I know what I don't want!) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But I've always wanted to adopt a boy from Haiti and a girl from Thailand.. I think I'd be hard pressed to name them with Scottish names that I like.. but we'll get to that battle.. if we ever do get there eh? LOL. Butt.. here's a photo I found this afternoon of McKenzie and I, when I was in Haiti.. in 2002.

..or a little girl from Vietnam or Thailand? Like this gems from Vietnam..

OH man.. my heart really does break for kiddies from different countries. Except those in Canada and the US. As bad as that is. Like.. we're filthy rich here.. I hate how poverty and hunger and unnessecary death strikes all over the world. :( After going to Hait, my dream job was to get my degree in phsyio and then move to Haiti and work there. I never ended up going down that path. But perhaps after I've gotten my degree in Social Work maybe God will move me to a third-world country eh?

Seen this advert yet? I think it's incredible.
http://www.makepovertyhistory.ca/e/video1.html

Have I ever expressed how much I love this man here?

A LOT!!!!

Anyways.. I've got the day off today, and it's not sunny out, so I can't even catch some rays on this pale pale body of mine. Oh well. I'm so far enjoyed two lovely cups of tea. I've done my laundry, cleaned the catbox. There's only the dishes left to do really.

WOOHOOO!!!! I've got a full-time job now. I've officially picked up Arlene's job at work. You have to realise it's not an easy thing to get a full-time job in my department. There are only 4 positions. It's taken me a year, but A's gone now.. and I'm in HA2 now.. forever!!! LOL. As much as the job makes me stressed beyond belief it's where God has me FOR A REASON. I can bike to work (no need to pay for gas).. and I wouldn't make this money working full-time anywhere else since I have no experience or schooling yet. So God is blessing me big time with this position.

My body's still a wreck.. but slowly on the mend. On Wednesday at acupuncture.. Cheryl did some extra points on me. Something she did different in my shoulder has actually made me notice a difference! I'm still in very much pain, but there is some relief. As of for my foot - I'm still really sore everyday, but hopefully something will let up soon. But my left foot and shoulder are fine now!!!!! PRAISE THE LORD :) My knees are still quite sore from biking everyday to work.. but it gets me a 5K work out everyday that I work. So.. this is good.

I've got to pee.. again.. but ye.. talk to YOUS later.

Ciao!

2005-07-18T19:04:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Getting sleepy.

Wow.. where to start eh? I feel like I’ve never written out anything here before, my head’s just brimming full of pish to write about :)

Well.. I just bought the nicest pair of OceanPacific board shorts. They are black with a stripe of hot pink down the sides. Then a *ew* palm tree and hibiscus flower on the bottom of the one side. Oh well, what can ye do when you FINALLY find a pair of the nicest long board shorts on sale eh? They actually match with both bading suits I have. One of which I only have a top for anymore, so..life is good :D I’M CAMPING IN TWO WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!! PRAISE THE LORD. He only knows how much this means to me. I also bought a “Powder Room” hoody. They are right outta Mississauga here. Within a year if anything goes wrong with it, I’ll get a brand new one .. can you say KICKASS? It’s awesum.. light blue, which is rare for me.. but I’m a sucker for brand-new hoodys.. ahh I love the softness!!!!!! :) Hehehe I love how easily amused I can be at times. Yet, so hard to please other times. We’ll get there in a second. So that was a couple days ago that I bought those articles of clothing. I originally was out to get some good sandals.. since the flip flops are doing nothing for my tendonitis in my feet (dumbass eh??) Well, I couldn’t find anything till today! I bought a sweet pair of Merrell multi-sport thingers! I tell ye, they can do just about everything. They are designed for amazing support in your feet and ligaments in your knees and legs (also in great need for this).. AND they were on sale. I got them for $34.99. I saw them at the mall later for $99.99… WOOP WOOP!!!!! :) So I’m really ready for camping now :) At the moment I’m alternating ice oneach foot for ten minutes each. Ahh nothing like Green Giant’s bag of frozen sweet corn to do the trick.

So ye.. we had the family “shindig”.. Ask Sarah, I was definitely calling it something else, but not appropriate for this blogg :P Anyways… work was brutal that day(Saturday) and I got home late, but showered.. did my hair then got to DRIVE!!!!! I haven’t driven (besides the odd time.. in a standard) in two years! But mum let me drive her Subaru to Fergus. Within moments of pulling outta the driveway it started pouring cats and dogs. It was so bad at times that I couldn’t see more than two feet in front of me! I don’t really dig that weather when you’re driving somewhere you don’t really know where you’re going! But awk well, we got there all fine :D AHAHA!! It was actually a really nice drive. We got there at about 5pm ish. Hung out for a couple hours.. chatted .. you know.. do what you do.. ate.. then left at 9ish since Michael works at like 4am in TO. Plus, I didn’t wanna stay late. It takes so much outta me, being around the Malloy’s. But in any case.. I’m going to try and help you understand who’s who ok? So it’s my dad’s side.. obviously.. *I’m* a Malloy.
But here’s the order of family members..etc.

Grampa Jack & Gramma Freda Malloy. Jack died in 2002, and Freda just died last June.

Auntie Cathy(dad’s oldest sister) & *bear with me* Uncle Mike(who is long been divorced), then Kent(who died back in 2003). Mike & Cathy had two boys – David(35) & Stephen (31). David married Susan and they have two girls – Sarah(7) & Elizabeth(4).

Stephen married Caroline and they have one baby – Jaiden(5months). I'll have to get a pic of her.. she's SO cute!

Uncle Bob(dad’s older brother) & Auntie Kathy(wife of Bob..duh!) – Chris(28) & Drew(23). Drew’s going out with a girl called Melissa.. I dunno about Chris.

There’s dad.. and mum.
With Michael(27)

Patrick(24)

me(21 this year) & Josh(19 next week). Patrick and Josh have girlfriends. Andrea's in that pic with Patrick.. and here's Jman's new gf Jill.

Michael and I are single. :)

Auntie Jackie(dad’s younger sister) & Uncle Perry – Danielle(23) & Paul (20). Danielle is marrying Charlie next September & Paul has a wee girlfriend, but I don’t remember her name.

Auntie Lisa(dad’s baby sister) & Uncle Tony – Rachel(17), Becky(15)& Brennan(12).
(That's Becky, Rach&I)
Becky’s going out with Rachel’s ex.. Rachel is happily single.. and I’d shoot Brennan if he had a gf already! :)

About being easily amused.. yet hard to please. It’s just becoming more and more aware to me WHY/HOW I’m single. First off I don’t think I’ve ever met any potential guys. Really. I’ve met a lot of hot people that I’ve fancied a couple of them.. etc, but nothing REALLY there. I know myself enough that I’m not an easy person to get along sometimes.. especially if I don’t want to be. Now, I can tell you(oh, so amused reader) right now that I will be a *swearword* to a potential guy. I put up a good fight over the tv controller let alone my HEART! LOL. I’m a big believer that patience reveals a LOT. Now say I meet this class guy that’s got a couple tatts.. he’s got some piercings.. he’s got a great personality (so it seems), he’s gotta great smile .. a nice butt(KIDDING!), he’s a “Christian”.. and he’s just a funky kinda person. Well, lemme tell ye, it doesn’t matter HOW much I liked him, I’d have him around for along time to “weed” him out. To check out a person’s true character – it doesn’t take much. Just keep watch. Be vigilant. And WOW.. time tells your true colours.. does it ever! I know that doesn’t matter WHO a guy is to me.. even if he got me to be his gf .. it’d take a long time for me to marry him. The poor guy’s gotta long battle ahead of him. He’s gotta win me over. And ye… some may say I have crazyass standards.. but what’s it to ye? If God has it planned that I’ll get married.. he’s got the perfect guy for me.. somewhere. Why should I have to worry at all? Flip.. I couldn’t be arsed with a guy anyways..not for a long time.

Well that was sorta random in there.. but anyways..

Is it really true.. is Hockey Night in Canada really going to be back!??!? :) WOOHOO!

Ok..I need to go to bed.. work calls early in the morning. Even on my days off (grrr).

Ciao all.

2005-07-13T17:40:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Ok. Thinkin about the other days.

I love thinking about things I’ve seen, read and watched in past times. It’s like the little men in my head grab the film that I recorded at that time.. and pop it in for me to replay. You can hear the film cracking as it’s starting to roll; it’s in black and white, just like the old films of the 40’s.

FLIP. How random.. perhaps as random as my bloggs :D FLIP!!! I was just searching up some random pictures on google and I saw ‘Waterdown’ and ‘winner’- it was for the Miss Universe Canada pagent of 2004. So I searched it up and I saw a picture of the winner.. and I know her boyfriend! Chris! Flip we used to go to school and be friends.. lol like.. oh what… more than 10 years ago? Here’s a pic:
Mr Baseluski and Vanessa! Ugh, why would you ever wanna be in a pagent like that.. SICK!

Be back in a bit......

((hours later))
Well I'm just in from acupuncture and such. You know what happened? It wasn't pleasant. I got really REALLY nauseous from the needles and was sweating buckets and I knew I wouln't actually upchuck or passed out if I didn't move.. I was ok. But ye, had a bad 'reaction' if you can call it that. It's normal for people to feel nauseous sometimes, but it was just weird that this is the first time it happened on my third treatment. My foot frikken KILLS. Inside of my big toe region is all swollen.. I coulda cried from the pain I was feeling afterwards.. along with the nausea.. WOW.. I'm so sick of feeling like shit :( Scares me a bit too. But I'd never tell anyone that. I hardly tell people what I'm really feeling anyways. Whatever.

Leanne's 18 today! My little Leanne :) I love that wee girl to pieces!!!!!! She came over when mum and I were in the driveway to tell us that she and Rob(her bro) went skydiving for her bday.. and she's gotta tape that she wants us to see. Awkk.. I love her!!! She was my first sister. :)

Well I have to go to bed and sleep since I'm working tomorrow. I pray that God takes away some of my pain in my foot.
Ciao all.

*A chick with a stuffed bra said* You know with me if you ever get to second base you know the bases are fully loaded!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHAHAHHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Same chick said* She's got an hour-glass figure. I've got an hour and a half figure.. I've some extra time on my ass.

2005-07-12T13:31:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: WOW tired.

Last night I went to bed at 6:30pm.. and didn't get outta bed till 6am this morning for work. But I didn't have a restful evening in the least. My back frikken KILLS.. my feet are really sore.. I just want my body to heal and let me go back to normal. But I think this is my new normal now.. sad enough.

Work was... was.... ugh, it's DONE. And I have tomorrow off! I sometimes love working part time. I don't like that I don't have a car yet because I don't get enough hours.. but I can't do anything about that at the moment.. there was no chance of me gettin the new full time position. So... that means.. I have tomorrow off :D

I'm intrested to see after a day of just cleaning the house and that sorta stuff.. then going to acupunture.. see what my stress level and my breathing is like.. instead of going there straight after a yuck day at work. Should be intresting.

Speaking of work again.. loads is happening. Loads of people have died. Someone did just the other nite again. There are two more shortly coming as well.

Love .. or in some cases lust, is in the air in that joint. Flip.. lets see... Nadine.. one of the NICEST psw's is engaged!!!!!!!! She's SOOOO lovely. Just before Christmas last year she started seeing this seemingly amazing guy. Well, I guess he's proven himself.. cuz she's got a beautiful wee ring on her finger.. and is happy as larry about it :D Heheh!!! I was SOOO excited when I saw it.
Then there... Sandy.. another amazing psw who's got loads on her plate.. but this weekend she just met a class guy. The ball's in his court.. he has her number, so I hope for her that he rings her :D Yeeeea!!!!
Then there's Jess... and Mike.. OH BOY! But .. ye they are gettin closer anyways... and we'll leave it RIGHT there.

About that love eh? FLip.. so I came home... and Jman was downstairs "sleeping" sorta.. well ..... he had ALL day to sleep (which he did) so I came and woke him up from his nap. Pssh... anyways, we were just chattin.. and I saw on his calander "Norway Jill" with some arrows pointing till the end of like next week. I asked what that was about .. Jill (his new gf) is in Norway-who'da thunk!?! So whatever.. I asked about "Jill change me?" on the calander as well.. I was like "WHAAA?" He said that Jill said within a month she thinks Josh will have changed.. and Jman says to me, "Ye and she was right.. she's only been gone three days and I already miss her" (You see.. Joshua doesn't have emotions... except for hateful emotions I guess.) Whatever.. I just laughed at him. But I was askin Josh about something.. and he got all angry, and I just asked him not to get so angry an yell at me.. just reply in a quieter tone. He freaked out.. And I asked him why he's always angry.. and WHAT he's always angry about. He said he's just an angry person.. he hates life.. he hates his f*cking family... we're all just a bunch of f*ckers.. I was like "hmm cheers pal".. then I left. I couldn't be bothered to be told off my some kid that doesn't realise what he's got. You see.. right now he's just all in a huff that he has to do work around the house. HE HAS NO JOB>> WHAT DOES HE EXPECT?!?!?! Last nite, he wouldn't do the dishes... mum was out, Patrick was just home from work and makin dinner for him and I.. and then I was going straight to bed after that right? And dad was downstairs... and the wee munger wouldn't do the dishes.. He was at home ALL day and SLEPT all of it. I was like.... well I was a bit upset but knew that I wouldn't win the fight. So I just asked my father to ask Josh to do the dishes..

SERIOUSLY.. if you had no job... and you were at home all day.. and SLEPT all of that day... would you do the dishes? I wouldn't expect you to enjoy it, but just frikken do it. I was just gobsmacked at his attitude.

Hmm.. lets talk about somet nice.....
*TOXIC* just came on my music !!! :) :) :)
Ahh man, I miss Lindsey. She's in Italy right now... lucky kid! :) But I should be getting a postcard from there any day now ... sweet!

Well.. my shoulders are too sore for this. Ciao!!!
Have a great day, don't be out in that sun or heat for too long, you'll feel it.

OX

2005-07-10T16:42:00.000-07:00

JOSHY HAS A GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!

2005-07-10T15:08:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: 100% HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just saw some of my mum's side of the family.. my favourite aunt&uncle... two of my favourite cousins.. one with a lovely new(new for me would be anything in the past two years) and she's DEAD on!!! :) She's class.
Justin(27 soon) an I wer talkin.. and EVERYTIME he asks me about boys.. lol. So it was the usual "I'm still on my own here".. we were just talkin about how rare good Christian catches are around. And it's so true. He's going out with a lovely girl.. have been for ages.. and they are gonna get married once he's got some money for a ring. I was just telling him I don't even know any guys that I'd wanna be with.. and no guys that are tattooed are Christians!!!!!! BOOO!!!!! Awk well..
I don't wanna be with anyone. For a long time. I wanna get school at least PARTLY sorted.. get my life figured out a bit before I screw someone else's life up :D

Ah shoot.. I was talkin on msn there.. and completely forget what I was gonna write.

Oh well.
Ho.. ye, so Josh lied to me again.. big time.. I'm gonna kill him one day. Ugh!

Ciao

2005-07-09T06:28:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Drowsy Tired & Naseuous.

I've been naseous for the past 4 days. I was frikken workin in a quarentined homearea the other week.. and I tell ye, I can't afford to get sick. I work again on Monday, and I want to enjoy myself tomorrow afternoon.. must. not. get. sick.

Tomorrow we are going to Tucker's Market Place.. for my very first time to eat there :D We are celebrating my Gramama&Granpapa's 60th wedding anniversary. It's a couple weeks early, so that my Uncle and cousin from Calgary will be there. All of us kids in my family are going. I just talked to Jer and he sounded like he'd be able to go, so hopefully those three boys will come... Auntie Diane and Uncle Gerry will be there, dunno about their three... Auntie Michline and Uncle joe will be there and I'm certain their kids&grandkids won't be there.. but who knows. Should be good craic, I'm really lookin forward to it :D

Today.. right now, it's 9:34am on Saturday morning.... Dee's at work till noon. Sarah and Julie are passed out like there's no tomorrow. I've been up since 8 somet. I thought when I heard the door - that that was Dee comin in from work.. no no, that was Dee LEAVING.. OHHHH man. So, I decided to come online since them two aren't wakin up for ages.. and I've prob got another 3 hours till the time Dee gets home. BOO!

SOOOOO... next weekend... on Saturday after work.. I have to boot it home, jump in the shower.. dry my hair then go to Fergus for a couple hours. It's the Malloy's side of an annual BBQ. It started out on Father's Day, but then since my Granpa died in '02 it's been in the "summer" instead. It's always a rough weekend. Mum and Dad aren't going as usual. But Michael, Patrick&Andrea, Josh and I are going to go just for a couple hours. I'm the only one who hasn't seen anyone in like three years since I wasn't here for Gramma's funeral last summer. So, I'd like to just say hello.. chat with my two cool wee cousins then get the hell outta dodge :D

The weekend after that is the 23rd.. I have to work the entire weekend *again* GRRRRR but in the afternoon... so I don't miss church :) Yesss. But.. I hate the afternoon shift on the weekend. I'm pretty sure it's homosexual.

BUTT the weekend after that is CAMPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sarah's family goes every year. I've been once, a coupel years back. So it's Tom, Sheila, Sarah and Dan.. then their "aunt&uncle"... and two of their "cousins" and one of their babies. And Dee and I as well this year. I've already made a list of what them two phsyco's can't bring:
1) Makeup
2) Straighteners
3) Blowdryer
4) Hmmm.. there were loads more, but I can't be bothered to write anymore. My shoulders hurt from this desk.
In any case you get the picture.. lol should be a BLAST tho!!! I'm dead excited :) Yippeeee!!!!!!

Gotta jet. Ciao.

2005-07-07T16:21:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Ice Queen

I've got ice on my foot that's all. I'm not feeling particulary "IceQueen"ish in fact at all today. I think it's the heat. Haaa...

Well.. I'm not sure if I mentioned in here that on Sunday my left foot started to hurt. It was actually my ankle bone on the inside of my foot.. near the bottom of my foot. So on Wednesday I told my lovely acupunturistCheryl about it. She checked out my foot and the tendon below my anklebone was reallyswollen. So, she added that to the list of fix its. I had my right shoulder pinned. My left one was good this week-amen! My right knee got pinned...and my right foot.. and my left as well. i had 12 needles in just my feet alone. WOW..some of them were painful.

Anyways.. mum went running.. 10KM so I went to Chapters and dandered about the place, got a LOVELY $4.72 caramel mochiatto.. sat and read some.. and then read some more. Bought adiary for aug2005-july2006....then went back and waited in the car for mum. It was just SOO nice to get back into a book store and not be rushed. So..plan is that every Wednesday mum and I get acu.. then I'll go to Chapters while she trains for her marathon.

Man.. I have so much towrite, but I don't know where to start. Uuuugh.. and now I'm not even in the mood. Maybe tomorrow afternoon/morning time.

Ciao

2005-07-05T03:32:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Hyper.

It's not even 6:30 am yet.. and I'm all ready for work.. and I'm just on the computer gettin the last couple pics from Paul, bless his socks.

One sec.. I've gotta spot right in the middle of my glasses.

Ok, we're cool. Well.. I FINALLY met Uncle Pierre and Aaron(15). He's such a sweet kid. SO funny. My uncle has a good chunk of land in the valley in Calgary right? *nod along people* They have 4 dogs, a couple cats, they had llama's and goats but the cougar got the goats and the llama's were sold.. they have a miniature horse.. and a donkey. At this point my ears perked up. I LOVE donkey's. They are SO cute.. So I asked what it's name was.. and Aaron said "Itchy".. I was like "ahh nice"... then he said "ye, my ASS is itchy"... I was LOVIN it!!! It was hilarious!!!! The rest of my family, ye, not so keen on it.. but I love sayin 'ass'.. so it was great.
Soo.. ye... Anthony's here in Ontario for a week or so more but he's playin all sorts of football games.. it's a Canada cup of sorts.. and he's at Laurier the whole time. I'm working and I don't know if random people are allowed at these games anyways.. BUTT... I'm going out to Calgary within the next year, so I'll meet him then. Mum and I were gonna go over a couple summer's ago but then ended up NOT obviously if I've never met them until last nite. So ye. I'll meet Nathan and his wife Lindsey.. Anthony and his girlfriend Lindsey.. and Auntie Debs.
Nathan and his wife.. just got hitched on the 2nd right? Well Pierre was tellin us that they only went out for like 4 months then got engaged!!!!!! They went out on like 2 dates throughough highschool but that's it! I was like.. that's phsyco. So I think they aren't even at the YEAR point and they are married now. She's 20.. he's 21. Crazy. Then Anthony's only 17.. he's been dating HIS Lindsey for FOUR years already... (holy!!!!!!)... they were nominated 'best couple' at their highschool grad just on the weekend there. He's got scholarships to UofCalgary.. there was a chance he was gonna go to TO.. but I'm sure he likes Calgary-closer to his woman. Flip me... dating when you're 13 is ridiculous!!!!!! Mum said.. YET again at dinner time "ye, I don't think we'll be getting any grandchildren outta these lot".. I'm like.. HOW do you get grandchildren if you don't approve them going OUT with anyone and don't look on marriage as a good thing. Flip.. I wanna shake her sometimes when she says that bollocks. Like.. OBVIOUSLY Michael, Joshua and I are single. Very single. And maybe not loving it 100% everyday, so she def doesn't make it easier.

Anyways.. I've got 15 minutes left before I have to go to work.. gonna grab a cuppa. Ciao.

Have a nice Tuesday... I'm working today and tomorrow.. then I've got till next TUES off!!!!!!! They don't give me the hours when I need them.. ahhhh. But at least I can go away this weekend :) Yippeee!!!!

Mmmbye!

2005-07-04T07:25:00.000-07:00

Curren Mood: A bit overheated, but now in the middle of an adrenaline rush. I just cleaned the house you see. And now I'm just sitting.. :D

Ok.. here's the photos I've been waiting for that Paul(the bomb) got up on his blogg :) I'm so excited.. I really needed to see faces of some of my friends in N.Ireland today. And here they are. We had a reunion of Y-1 and Axiom while I was in N.Ireland a couple weeks ago, here are some of the pics :)

Simon and Carol on burger patrol.

Flames just get higher and higher!

Alain and Laura go a bit mental...

"Check out my armpit!!!"

SOOOOOOOO, BORED!!!!

Sorry Paul.. lol I just copied and pasted from his blogg :) heheh.. I love being able to view sources :) Ahah!

Well, I have to go call my brother Michael to tell him to come for dinner tonite. My uncle Pierre(only met him once while I was in diapers) and his youngest son(Anthony) - who live in Calgary "Shut up and call Gary"...*good times*.. ARE coming for dinner tonite. Long story, Aaron(the middle child) has a scholarship for UofCalgary and was down in Kitchener this weekend for a big footy game. He missed his brother's wedding. That's Nathan the oldest of the boys.. he's just 21!!! He got hitched on the 2nd of July. I've never met any of the boys.. so I'm excited about meeting Anthony. I've never met my aunt either. Sad eh?

In the middle of washing the kitchen floor this morning I was like "I don't wanna be 'Uncle Pierre'.. " I don't think I could live far away (like in Belfast) from my brothers or my friends. They are all starting to get married and soon having kiddies I'm sure.. and I don't wanna be that "Auntie Laura" that none of the kiddies know. Why did I have to go to Belfast anyways.. :( I miss my friends there !! :(

Anyways.. I've got the day off today!!! YIPEE!!!!!!! I worked all week and all long weekend as well. SO I've got the ENTIRE weekend off next week. Going up to St. Kitts to see Dee for shizzo! :)

Have a gooden.
Ciao.
Ox

2005-07-02T18:48:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Happy. I just cleaned my room and put new cotton sheets on my bed. I love the feeling of new sheets.

Mum gave me YET another book to read. It's called, "The Unspoken Rules Of Love"...FLIP what is it with all these frikken relationship books. I'm not in a relationship, I'm not ready for one..I'm NOT INTRESTED in one either. CRAP.

This is the last thing I just read. I'm typing it out,for a reminder for myself.. and then I'm going to bed.

FILLING THE VOID
Let's take a deeper look at the concept of wholeness. We are told in Colossians 2:10 that 'you are complete through your union with Christ' (NLT).
"Well how can that be?" you ask. "Jesus can't show up and take me to dinner. He can't hold me or deal with my physical needs..."
But wholeness comes from within. It does not rely on outward stimuli orcircumstances that constantly shift. When you know who you are, nothing can change your heart condition except you.

I'm sick of reading all these books and getting all sorts of lectures from all around. I'm sick of having feelings for people. As of a couple days ago I've cut them out of my life - the feelings, not the persons - I'm going to be a single woman of God forever. I don't have time for bollocks. Amen and amen.

Goodnite.

2005-06-28T13:26:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Sore feet but good otherwise.

Yesterday after work I had a shower then fell asleep. I slept from 4ish last nite till about half 6 this morning.

Oh here.. THIS is me brickin it: I have acupuncture tomorrow after work.. AHHH!! But hopefully we'll be able to sort out my shoulder, knees AND my foot.. woop woop!

So.. I have done the shower - I'm watchin a bit of Shanghai Noon...but I have afeelingI'm going to bed soon.

Here.. Josh taught me someJapanese today: Konichiwa pronounced "co nee chee wa" - means hello.

2005-06-26T16:44:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Nice. I just washed my face, I always feel good after doing that.

My mother made me laugh today. She asked me if a boy was intrested in me. I laughed. Not some gopher off the street, like a boy I'd hang out with regularly.
What a phsyco.

Michael came over for dinner.. we celebrated his 27th today, since he'll be gone next weekend.

Patrick has Andrea's old laptop and bought a wireless card for it.. so I'm RIGHT NOW sittin on my bed typing this out. The SPACE bar likes to stick a lot tho. BOO.

Josh was away all weekend somewhere..no one really knows where. He missed Michael's shindig.

I'm going to be more tactful when writing. I HAVE said this before, but I'll try my best.

Ciao

2005-06-24T06:33:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Miffed

Ok.. when you buy someone a gift whether it be for a holiday like Father's Day, or a birthday, or a no reason at all gift.. if the reciever doesn't like it - what's the unwritten rule about getting around that? Are you allowed to flat out say "here, I'm not gonna wear this or use this".. or can you return it for something else.. or do you just accept it, pretend to like it when the giver's around.. and then everyone's satisfied?

Well see here's a wee rant. That I hope to be fast and painless (on your part) I'm already numb you see.
But.. it just... REALLY frikken pisses me off. So.. my father doesn't like anything right? And you're saying "oh, come off it Laura - there must be something". Well he likes to watch tv by himself, he likes to play golf with MrB. And that's about it. Well GOLF you say.. well there's a perfect hobby to buy gifts for. UNLESS the kid buys everything he ever wants like the week before Father's Day. Ahh, it's annoying right? Well.. whatever. I bought him the dvd Ray, and my brothers bought him the chocolate covered almonds he likes.. and then whatever. He's eaten the chocolate. But the dvd's still unwrapped downstairs. Fair enough, he didn't watch it that weekend.. and he watches just tv during the week. So... whatever. But you see.. I'm just reaching the end of my rope with him. He doesn't even PRETEND to feckin like anything I give him. OK.. Sooo a couple years ago when stuff at his work was TERRIBLE.. I bought him "Office Space".. funny comedy about office bollocks.. right? He's never watched it. He never even touched it. Josh and I watched it one nite.. had to unwrap it an all. Whatever.. fine, it wasn't an academy award winner or anything special.
Fine, so I come back from being in Northern Ireland for a year, and bring back rugy shirts for all the boys. Black and White... and they have the Guiness logo on it. Awesum, I thought they were class. The boys have worn theirs.. but where is Dad's you ask? OH ye.. still folded up in a pile next to his bed. He left it on the dining room table for about 5 months before moving it to another pile. Fine.. whatever.. he doesn't wanna wear it. That's him.
So for Christmas.. it's the dreaded.. "what the HECK do I get my father" stress out time. I went with what I normally do and get him a film since he doesn't do/use anything else we ever get him. I got him a special edition of "Saving Private Ryan" all sorts of special features.. and kickass dvds.. well today.... nearly 6 MONTHS after Christmas.. I saw it in his room while I was getting something. OH MY GOODNESS. He never even touched it yet. Fair enough.. he hasn't wanted to watch it recently.. I know he likes the film, he actually told me once.
Ye.. so I bought him "Ray" for Father's day.. I can't wait to see how long it takes him to watch or touch that bad boy. I know I'll open it for him and watch it on my own AGES before he does.
Needless to say I didn't get him any present for his bday while I was away.. it just goes to waste. Everything we get him just goes to waste.

FLIP it just makes me so mad. He doesn't like anything. He buys anything himself if he WOULD like it. He doesn't have any other hobbies... that are affordable, like a new car, computer parts.. a new kitchen and shower.. no.
So mum says "Just don't get him anything".. well you can't just NOT give him anything for his bday, then father's day then Christmas.. how bad is that? But in the future it might be that way since he just doesn't like anything.

I'm actually in a really grumpy mood.
I was up sorta early watering mum's plants... and I found a wee nest with three baby bunnies in it. They are SO funny to watch. They were hoppin.. and their heads are practically the size of the rest of their bodies.. FUNNY stuff.

I just have to deep heat my shoulder, jump in the shower... get my stuff sorted for the next couple days...go to Sarah's after noon, sort Sunday SChool stuff out. I don't even feel like going to this wedding anymore. Ye to the ceremony. But I'm good with me and Dee going to Wendy's when we're done and just running away. It should make for an intresting evening anyways.
Ciao.

2005-06-23T18:59:00.000-07:00

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."

2005-06-23T09:19:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Insane in the membrane.

What do you do?

Honestly.. what DO you do.
You've got this thing in your mind, going over and over and over again.. a quote that makes you think you're on track, but then if you read it once more you figure out you're on the WRONG track.
Do you keep quiet.. and kill yourself(not literally with a substance) but maybe the lack of life in your heart might kill you.
Do you say something.. only to KNOW full well that when you fall it's gonna hurt THAT much more.
Do you suffer alone.. or tell someone you've gotta secret.
Do you cry about it.
Do you scream about it.

I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT'S GOING ON!

2005-06-23T08:45:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: ComeSeeComeSaw.

I feel like I'm stuck on a roundabout, never knowing which road to take from it. Every one I've tried so far hasn't been right. I'm fed up with not getting anything right.

I feel like my ears and eyes are blocked to what He has to say to me. I want.. I NEED to hear from Him, yet I'm sure it's me who's making me not see what He's telling me. I could ask all the questions in the world - He'd still have the same answer. I am what I am.

One thing I'm learning is :
LIFE IS RIGHT NOW.

Life isn't, "planning how to get to uni and doing uni, and getting outta uni and getting a REAL job".
Life isn't, "well maybe someday .. someone.. somehow".
Life isn't, "tomorrow"..

Life is right now. Life is the 24 hours at a time the God gives to ME to glorify Him in WHATEVER I'm doing at that time.
Life is worshipping God when I wake up in the morning thanking Him that He's given me another chance.
Life is worshipping God while I'm washing the dishes before I even get to eat anything.
Love God. Love Others.
Life is loving people in my house, and people outside my house.
Life is working at Alexander Place - and learning to worship God while cleaning a nursing home.
Life is being able to look at the stars and moon at nite, and seeing God's love to ME.
Life is right now, not tomorrow.. not an hour from now.. life is RIGHT NOW.

It's never going to get any better if I only think about tomorrow. I need to embrace today-as CORNY as that is, it's true.

I can't deal with tomorrow. But I don't have to.

Have a blessed day!

2005-06-22T21:58:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Curious as to what Shan posted on my blog but then later deleted. I'm dead curious. But ever get that feeling you're going to get in trouble.. or "reprimanded"... I have that funyn feeling in my tummy right now. It started when she said "I couldn't find how to tactfully say".. lol.. uh oh.. Laura's in trouble again.

Awk well.
I worked.. and by the grace of my amazing God.. I survived, was able to smile, and worshiped God all morning and afternoon.

I went to Sarah's after work.. was a shorter walk then walkin home in that sick heat. Her mum took me home at quarter to 5.. I showered.. and Sarah showered and got ready at her house, then she picked me up on her way to St. Kitts.. we went to see Dee. :) YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! The S-man gave me loads of hugs.. like the nearly-suffocating ones? Ye :) He cracks me up tho eh? LOL!! We watched, "The Machinist" .. SICKLY skinny Christian Bale.. AHhaahhhhhhhh......................! Sorta predictable, but well played in any case.

Well you might have noticed.. I have been crap at pretty much anything I've done in the past two weeks. It's cuz my devotions and time with God has been crap. And I severely suffer when I don't get the quality God time in.
Speakin of which. I'm missing that worship thinger on Saturday nite. I have to frikken work :(

But it works out alright.. Stacie and Nathan's wedding is at 4 on Friday.. then Dee and I are stayin at Sarah's.. I'm supposed to keep Dee entertained all morning since Sarah's at work till sometime. Then I have to go to work for 2. Awk well. I'm thankful I'm not up for half seven that morning!!!! :) God is too good to me.

DID YOU SEE THE MOON TONITE? WOW .. talk about amazin :)

By chance you see my msn name.. please don't worry.

Have a great nite!
Ciao all.
L

2005-06-21T20:49:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Feeling REALLY single

I'm just in from Sarah's housewarming thinger. It was good to touch base with the girls.. I missed them a lot. I desperately feel desperate sometimes after "Marriage Couselling" tho.

I'm really tired. And I have to work tomorrow.. covering for Philly... but mum's going to leave for work at half 7, so I'm VERY blessed to be able to get a lift in the morning! Yees! CRAP I don't have a lunch. Oh balls.

Anyways. Boring update. I'm boring.

Goodnite moon.

Ciao.

2005-06-21T09:33:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: Better

Well.. I'm off to the dreaded place (Alexander Place) to do a wee potluck dinenr for Philly's retirement :) Lucky thing gettin outta there, and going on holiday for the rest of her life :) Good on her. It's about time.

Later there's a housewarming party at Sarah's nw place in the HAMMER (Who really says that eh? Flip.. I just did). It'll be good fun, I'm lookin forward.. haven't seen those girls for like 6 or 7 weeks. It's been a while.

I have dark purple hair now. It's quite funky. Yet very subtle. I also have a new lip stud. Not another hole.. just piercing. It's nice. Sorta. I searched everywhere in the Burlington mall.. I just wanted a short labret stud.. PLAIN silver ball. You think it'd be easy enough. No no. Well, I ended up with a labret stud.. that's really nice and tiny - the ball I mean is small. It's got a homosexual bluish sparkly bit in the front :( But the stud part is sorta long. MAN. I just want something tiny in there.. I also got a retainer for it as well.. It was in the packet. Ugh. I'll have to go to a piercing shop and get one that I like someday.. I just never get out there.. BOO!!!

Wow, I'm a whinge :P Sorry.

Today it's sunny. Today it's warm. Today it's the first day of summer. Today is the day before a full moon. It's been AMAZING to look at :) Today...... I'm hungry. Ciao!

2005-06-20T19:59:00.000-07:00

Current Mood: PISSED off.

I just lost a huge post with pictures and everything. UUGH

DAVE'S HOME!

2005-06-18T16:19:00.000-07:00

Current mood : REALLY really grumpy.

It's 7:22pm on Saturday nite and I'm at home.. that's right.. NOT at the Sloan concert. A bit bunged about that one. Not even out to see Dave.. I'm AT HOME. I suck.

Work was so long today. So long. I stayed longer tho and talked to Julie and Candice.. that was good fun :)

Oh.. by the way.. Dave's home! I got a message about 20 minutes after I passed his house *I was walkin home*.. saying to come over in the next 10 minutes and I'll beat him .. and surprise him with Michelle, Jaime, Meg, Michelle and Lindsey! But.. ye, I was obviously not going to make it for the surprise.. I was sick from work.. and I was gross. So I puntered home. I'd go over now, but it's Dave and Lindsey's dads bdays.. so, I don't wanna just walk in now. I can't wait to hear his stories!!

So last nite, we were in Canfield.. WAY out in the arse end of NOWHERE.. Past frikken Cayuga!!!!! We were at Ric's place for Stacie's bachlorette thinger.. then it was a bonfire as well. It was cool. Didn't get home till late tho, and after about a half hour of sleep, I had to go to work.

The nite before I was up really late, then up really really REALLY frikken early.. and only have about 3 hours sleep (Thursday nite).. so ye.. hence some of the grumpiness I think.

Grrr.

I'm gonna go before I start to stay stuff I shouldn't.

Oh ye.. so the concert.. I thought Sarah and I were going. Well Sarah thought I was going with Lindsey (who was gonna be at Dave's!)... so Sarah's in TO. HHMMph :(

Sad days

2005-06-15T12:18:00.000-07:00

You know what's sad? To talk to your younger brother who's coming nineteen in the month of July - talk to him about the parties he goes to. For him to talk about why he wouldn't ever have a party here (I knew why, but I wanted to see how he'd try to go about explaining these things to me). It was sad. He said he'd neve have a party here unless dad, mum, michael, patrick and I are all gone. I could understand the parnental units wanting to not be around, but I inquired more about why his siblings couldn't be around. His reason for him not wanting me around? He doesn't want me seeing him in the state that he gets.

OH MY LIFE I could slap that kick SO hard up side the head. OH MY GOODNESS, he's SUCH an ass munger!!!!!! RRRRRR makes me mad.

I said nothing of the sorts to him tho, he already hates me enough as it is, no need to further that cause.

Today is Andrea's graduation from U of Guelph. Mum and Patrick are at the ceremony as I type.. I didn't wanna go to that, too many people, hugs, cries an all that caper. But mum's coming back for me later, and "we" (the Malloy family - but as it turns out it's only mum, Patrick and I) are going to the Nixon's abode for a buffet dinner sorta deal. I'm actually kacking myself here. Tonite I'm meeting Frank for the first time. I'm nervous outta my face.. I wanna make a good impression. Good enough that he, sometime soon, says to me : We NEED you to work for us Laura.

Work called. I'm working on Saturday. They kindly scheduled me in on Sunday too. OH my life, they are seriously thick as champ there!!!! BOOO!!!! What, I go away on holiday, and unbecome religious so that I don't need to go to church on Sundays and I'll work in that pit? NO thanks. So, I told my boss kindly that I can't work. She wasn't impressed, but that's not my problem anymore. I'm going to go to work on Saturday, do my job, not get involved in anything an get the hell outta dodge afterwards!!! AHHHHH! You may say to yourself, "wow, she's got a bad attitude".. it's true, but... ye, it's true.

I don't feel so well today. I better be feelin ok in 2 hours.

Ciao.

So this is it

2005-06-14T21:41:00.000-07:00

THIS is life. Being stressed beyond belief. I don't like being a grown up. I don't like reality. I don't like this moment.

It's 12:44am.. on Wednesday EARLY morning. I think I'm going to bed shortly.

Today was a pretty dull day, I was up uber early again.. with the house to myself. I went outside for a wee while.. then it poured :) Or was that yesterday? I can't remember.
My afternoon was even more uneventful. I don't recall a thing!
My evening was nice tho! Candice and I went out after dinner.. went shopping for sunglasses for her. I think we accomplished that mission and did a frikken fine job of it too! :) I picked up the dvd "Ray" for dad for Father's day.. anyone seen it yet? Awk well.. too bad if he doesn't like it. It's not like he's open to much these days anyways. And I don't have much money to be spending .. flip.. after buying these nice sheets - what like 80 bucks a pop?! (Not for me.. a wedding present).. But I guess it'll be ok, I'm back to work Friday.
After Walmart we went to Timmy's.. got a cuppa and a donut.. I haven't actually eaten a donut in ages! Sourcream glazed.. it was nice.
Candice and I talked about the usual.. future, school, work, family, boys, marriage.. of course LOL!!! In the middle of talkin about our friends and their relationships she said to me that it's time I have a nice boy. Well, if it were only that easy. I'm still so messed up that I don't think I'd ever have a proper relationship with a REAL person anyways. I don't think I would actually believe someone liked me.. and thought I was worth fighting for. After the years of not believing .. I'd just run away from someone anyways. So that's me sinsterhood forever :D Woop woop!

So tomorrow's a big day. Andrea's graduating from Guelph. Normally that'd not be a really big thing for me.. like "yeah for her".. but not really anything to do with me. Well, our family has been invited over to her house for a after-grad dinner. Well.. I wasn't gonna go.. until like 8pm last nite. I've never met her parents .. or many people in that family. Ok, I only know her wee sister. But see Frank, her dad has his own tool&dye shop. Heather and Andrea normally work there all summer and then I guess part time *sometimes?* through the school year. Well I guess he's loosing them both this year and will be needing some full-timers in the shop. WELL.. here's me lookin for a job. So the last time Patrick rang Andrea he was chattin to Frank and just mentioned I was lookin for a full-time job until next Sept. SO.. I have to make a really nice impression on Frank tomorrow... I think I even have to wear a dress to this shindig. BOO!!! I hope he doesn't have anything against piercings and tatts.. for the most part I'll be covered up, but you can see my stars.. and lip ring. But.. if Frank doesn't HATE me anyways.. I might have a chance. You see, Patrick can drive me to work on his way to HIS work .. throughout the summer, then by the end of the summer I can get a car.. so that I can still work full-time until next Sept. So, I really pray this all works out. I'd not know for a couple weeks.. Frank&fam go on holiday soon.. so I'd know prob the third week of July perhaps? I really hope I can survive working at Alexander Place for a while longer. Oh Lord.. you'll provide :) I know.

On to better news... DAVE'S HOME SATURDAY!!! YEaaaah!!! That man was VERY missed by SO many people.. I don't think he even knows how much people love him.

This Friday there's a bbq for Stacie and Nathan.. woop woop!! :) Then, next Friday is their WEDDING!!! I can't believe it's happening so soon. It seems like it's still ages away, but no, it's SOO soon!!! :) I'm excited, it'll be a good party :)

Ugh, I hate it when you're not tired, but there's no one online.. and nothing to do but to go to bed. BOO!!!

* * *
A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said...no.

She asked him if he would want to be with her forever....and he said no.

She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, and once again he replied with a no.

She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said..

You're not pretty you're beautiful.

I don't want to be with you forever, I NEED to be with you forever.

And I wouldn't cry if you walked away...I'd die...
* * *

* * *

Hehehe!!
* * *

* * *
Good nite
* * *

L

When it rains, boy does it rain :)

2005-06-13T13:24:00.000-07:00

I feel like I've never written a post before.. I feel so NEW at this. I think I'm just like 'where do I start!?' with this posting today. There's so much RANDOM stuff to put in here. So I might just do whatever in here today, then stink random bits and bobs in here and there eh? :)

So, I got home Friday.. it was SICK getting off the plane - I couldn't deal with it, I was just grossed out and knackered. But anyways, standing at the baggage reclaim area; there was one other girl and I waiting for our luggage-everyone else got theirs ages before us. Then, I went through the next sections.. do do do.... then I had to go to the section in customs where they ACTUALLY rummage through all your luggage. That other girl waiting for her luggage was the only other person in the 'rummage through your luggage' section with me. The guy didn't believe me that I only bought clothes, a package of bikkies, and a bag of crips with me. Oh, and like 2 gifts. But I guess it's a little understanding, given my age and not declaring alcohol or ciggs or anything.. and that's just what a lot of people coming over from the UK do you see.. lol it's so cheap in duty-free. BUT anyways... after the man went thro all my crap, I was able to go. Sarah was there waiting for me.. it was cool ! :) Getting home was AMAZING .. I don't think I've ever wanted to kill myself cuz of the weather!!! IT WAS BRUTAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Plus, we went on a wee detour as well :P AHAHAH.

We went to my house first to drop off my crap, hug my cat.. Michael was home-WOOP WOOP!!!!! My father was home sick as well. I got a good hug from Michael, and my dad didn't even get up or anything when I got home. Ah well, I wasn't expecting a hug form him or anything anyways. We just went out for a quick bite to eat.. then I went back home, I was WRECKED!!! The heat really made my jetlag worse too. It was almost 40 degrees with the humidex. GOODNESS ME!!!!! *Good gracious Miss Molly* eh Lindsey?? :) HEheh!!!

I stayed in Friday nite... I can't even remember what I did.. just putzed around the house, did my laundry.. unpacked an stuff.. then watched a bit of tv with the boys then went to bed real early.

Saturday .. I was up SO dungin early!!!! LOL.. I think it was like 7, but didn't get outta bed till like 8 I think. Did the dishes, tidied the house a wee bit, and hung out. Pat came home with Andrea in the afternoon.. then Michael came over as well. We all just hung out outside. Patrick was painting his car, Michael was over to help him, and then help Josh as well. Josh, you see, has the job of pulling out the 20 year old tree from the front yard. ALL by himself. He's not allowed help -since he doesn't have a job at the moment- but Michael helped a bit. I had my first Grosch. EWW!!! Well, it wasn't THAT sick. But I'm not a beer person, but Michael wanted me to at least try it. I'll stick with my Smirnoff :) We had Chinese for dinner.. it was like we were ACTUALLY a family.. that hasn't happened in a long time. Then we had cake.. I still don't know why.. I think mum was a bit happy I was home. I was out to Sarah's that evening. Deeana who does MaryKay was doing a party at Sarah's and I had NO choice about going. It was actually real good craic. There was Donna-from Sarah's work, and Lindsay, and then Sarah, Dee and I. We had to try all these makeup products and all.. and I even bought some. I'm WAY too girly these days. Did I tell you I bought a frikken DRESS in Belfast?! LOL.

So.. Sunday morning, mum wanted me to wear my new dress to church.. she likes it a LOT. She tried it on, but thank the LORD it doesn't fit her(yet).. she wants it! :O She also bought two dresses on Saturday, so she wanted us both dressed up. That's it.. she's finally cracked up! Lucas was there on Sunday morning! He's got loads of tatts and piercings :) Ahaha.. Mrs.R was like 'ohh, look at this Laura'.. cuz he was sittin with us. I went out with the girls for lunch after church, was really nice to catch up with everyone :) But it was really empty without Dave. But he's home in less than a WEEK!!!! YEEEAH!!!! Big party when he gets back. Anyways, back to Sunday. Later in the afternoon Lindsey and I went to Sarah's to hang with Dee and the boys. After dinner we all played Pictionary.. FLIP I hate that game!!!! BOOOOO!!!!!

So.. today's Monday. I just slept in late. Then hung out here.. on my own.. went outside then 5 seconds later it stormed like CRAZY! I love it!!!! Good rain.. the stuff that drenches you in seconds. I love it.

So that's me up to date.. I'll talk about... ummm.... THIRD DAY!

WOOOOOHOOOO!!!!!
On June 9th.. that'd be the Thursday nite before I left the next morning at 5am. We (Lindsey, Noleen, Naomi, Esther and myself) headed out for dinner in a very nice restaurant, then went to Whitewell Church (it's like a HOTEL it's magassive) to see THIRD DAY in concert!!!!!!! It was actually maybe the most amazing concert I've ever been to. It was INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God was SO there, and it was a concert of worship and praise and FUN and rock and roll... AHH.. I can't even describe it still. It was just WICKEDAWESUM! Oh the way home, we just kept saying "WOW!".. it was SOO good!!!! That nite Alan said he thought I was hot. I was initially grossed out to the max, but as the night went on I thought, "hey, I'm leaving the country.. I'm flattered".. lol! He was only like 5 rows away from the stage, so once I get pictures from him I'll post them up here! We had amazing seats ourselves!!! AOOOH MAN!!! IT WAS SO CLASS!!!!!! :) :) :)

I saw icebergs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! On the fligth home, we went over Greenland but we were too high up to see any land. Then we went through Labrador and the captain came on and said "and there you'll see icebergs".. it was AWESUM!!!!! It was really class actually to see all over the east coast of Canada... especially after studying it all in school just recently, it was pretty cool :)

I saw jellyfish too!!!!! I've never before (if you haven't guessed) .. and where of all places but the beaches of Northern Ireland did I see my first! They were creepy looking.. well some were nice looking, but this one was ACUTALLY huge and rather scary! I tried to save a couple, but I didn't try with the scary one lol. I bet I was a SIGHT! I can just picture Lindsey reading this and laughing a bit saying "too right you were" :)

I'm not sure what else I should write... I did a lot of shopping over there with Lindsey. I visited a lot of friends.. had a LOT of laughs with everyone. I was back in Moira for the weekend, it was good. Back to the drop-in as well. It was loads different. All new staff, all new kiddies in there... but Davey came in and I was SO chuffed to talk to him a wee bit!!! I miss that kid, wow!

But here, I'm blabbin on here.. I'll be going now.. Ciao man.

L ox

Back in Canadia

2005-06-12T18:55:00.000-07:00

FLIP it's stinkin here!!!!!!!

I'm home in Canada again.. it's ACTUALLY disgustingly hot, I'm not handling it well at all. It's well over 30 degrees with the humidex nearly 40 some days! This is NO good. I missed the SICK part of summer last year as I came home at the end of August, and last summer I was still in Moira, NI... so I'm going to die here!

I'm still jet lagged, plus this weather.. so I'm wrecked pretty much. It migth be a while till I get a proper posting up here.. but then again, it might be tomorrow. You see, I have the house to myself, it's not like I'll be going outside unless I have to.. so I might write some tomorrow. Oh, it's gonna be so hard to catch up on my life!! AHH!!!!

Cheers boys.
Laurs

Lindsey&I before the concert :)

((more to come))

2005-06-02T06:19:00.000-07:00

Here.. I'm sorry I haven't written.
I realise.
I'm gutted myself :)

I will be home a week tomorrow.. then I'll update.. I've written down all my journeys in my journal.. I just don't have proper internet access being all over the country..

So ye.
Speak to you soon boys!

Laura ox
P.S.
Don't be a goat!!

:(

2005-05-19T16:25:00.000-07:00

I have a blistery thing on my right pinky finger.. and it hurts like MADNESS! Frikken steam burn :( UUUGH.

Got an email from Dave today. He's alive and LOVIN Tanzania :)

Good nite.

Heaven must be missin an angel ;)

2005-05-17T05:13:00.000-07:00

DUDE.. how cool is this? I wanted to waste my time with a survey, and here I got one in my inbox this morning from Shawnda  Yeah!
Well.. I’ll put it at the end so if you can’t be arsed to read it, you don’t have to!

So.. yesterday(Monday afternoon) Lindsey’s mum came home.. made tea(dinner) and then took me to Monkey’stown. Britt had two of her friends from Colorado over-they got here that morning-AND it was Britt’s 21st bday! So.. Jess came over, Ashley came over, Andy(FLIP another one.. ‘Framer’) annnnnd.. we went out at about sometime after 9pm. We went to ‘The Kitchen Bar’. FLIP it was amazing! Live jazz music .. and good drinks.. and GREAT craic!  Framer is hilarious! I had no idea he was as old as he is!! Not that he’s ANCIENT.. but 27’s getting up there like! Ashley, Andy and I had a huge convo about relationships.. and about ‘layin fleeces’ in a biblical sense. I dunno what I feel about them quite yet. But I put my two cents in there about ‘oh aye.. I’ve got my blanket all ready.. here have a picnic’ pretty much :P But .. what do YOU think about em? The example I was given.. say if I fancied this guy who’s not into tattoos & piercings and all.. and I asked God to show me if I was to pursue him or not. Askin like ‘God, if he got a tattoo.. then I’ll go for it’?? I just don’t think .. I dunno.. I think it’s a bit gay. But anyways..
I hope Britt enjoyed herself.. I think she did. We got back at midnightish I think. Had some cake&icecream.. and then just hung out. James was in B’fast so he missed the craic with us. The bar WAS in B’fast, but ye, he wasn’t with us. He’ll be back tonite.
I think today is going to be spent watching The Little Mermaid.. and another film.. I canny remember.
THEN Britt&co are off to CYPRUS for 4 days! They found a flight&hotel for £150!!!!! I’m so jealous! It’ll be lovely tho, to get away.
I’m very very excited to watch Ariel today.. haven’t seen it in donkey’s ages!

Oh ye.. here's QUESTION ONE of 20 Q's that I'll no get:
Q Do you enjoy long walks on the beach, golden sunsets and holding hands?... :P But seriously here's a question: What motivates you from day to day, and possibly minute to minute?

A I LOVE long walks on beaches. I don't love it when you get sand everywhere tho :P I love red and purple sunsets.. with a passion. They are maybe one of my favourite things to look at. AHAHAHA and he boys here all know I don't hold hands.
But for the 'real' question there. Hmm.. I think anticipating heaven! Most days I'm crap at being joyful, but I'm REALLY tryin.... anything BUTT is hurting my Saviour. But ye.. I'm learning NOT to question God.. cuz the only reason I want answers is so that I can be in some sort of control. I'm tryin to just really live BY FAITH and live every moment for God's glory.. and then to anticipate HEAVEN!!! WOOHOO!!!

Caio all!
Ox

~*YOU*~
1.What is your full name? Laura [x] Malloy.
2 What would you like your name to be? I love my second name.
3.Single or taken: I’m taken by someone, but single as a Cheerio.
4.What does your name mean: ‘Laura’ means: Laurel leaves-from the Latin, Honour, Fame & Spirit. ‘Malloy’ means: Noble Chief in Irish.
5.Who picked out your name: My dad&mum had a couple to choose from.. and ended up agreeing to disagree I think 
6.What's your nickname: Dead SEXY :P I’ve been called a number of things over a number of years.
7.How old are you: I’m going on 21 in the fall.
8.What colour are your eyes: Van Morrison wrote that song about me: Brown-Eyed Girl
9.What size are your shoes: Small.. US7 UK5.. I can fit into kiddies too, just depends on the brand.
10.How much do you weigh: Dunno, I’ve lost weight.
11.How tall (or short): It says 5’4” on my driver’s licence so that’s what I go by.
12.Honestly what do you like about yourself: Dunno about that one. I’m pretty phsyco, but I amuse myself reading what I’ve written down at different times in my life.
13.What do you always get complimented on: My velcro shoes.
14.What is your worst quality: I rarely say what’s going on in my head&heart.
15.What are the last four digits of your phone Number: 6565
16.Do you think you're cute: I hope not.
17.Hair colour: Natural colour? Or colour of the week?
18.Do you wear contacts: Sometimes.
19.Living Arrangements: A house.
20.Strange fact: I must have my glasses on when I speak on the telephone.

~*FAVOURITES*~
21.Favourite Drink: I love water. Tea. Triple Black from Smirnoff. Draft Guinness (in N.I. & RoI.)
22.Favourite alcoholic drink: Oh, look at that, I’m already ahead of myself.
24.Favourite Food: I love Pasta, Chicken Korma, Potato Bread, and .. SUNDAY DINNER!
25.Favourite Board Game: Scrabble NO DOUBT!
26.Favourite Web Site: n/a
27.Favourite Clothing Brand: n/a
28.Favourite day of the Year: I really REALLY like Canadian Thanksgiving.
29.Favourite colours: Black, Red, & Purple.
30.Favourite Animal: Ki

*FAMILY AND FRIENDS*~
31.Do you have more girl or boy friends: I think I have a lot of girl friends at the moment which is weird.
32.Who's your bestfriend/s: Cheers Shawnda.. ye I’ll go with ‘you’! 
33.Are your parents together: They are married if that’s what you mean.
34.How often do you get together with the family: Define the ‘family’. I barely see my brothers.. I haven’t seen my aunts&uncle ‘family’ in probably three years.
35.Do you tell your parents or your friends more: I don’t really talk much with my parents.
36.Anything special about your parents: My mum’s a marathon runner. My dad doesn’t drink 
37.Siblings and their ages: Michael-almost 27, Patrick-24 in three days, Josh-19 soon.

~*YES OR NO*~
38.You're a flirt: Depends who I’m with.
39.You're slutty: I’m a ‘mental slut’ so I’ve been told! LOL
40.Sing like an angel: BAahhaha.
41.You like someone: I like loads of people, there are some decently nice people in this world-I’m finally figuring out.
42.You can keep secrets: I was born a secret-keeper.
43.You dance in front of the mirror: Oh yeh, with my air-guitar an all.
44.You've watched a porno: Umm GROSS!
45.You sing in the shower: Only if I’m home alone. It sounds as if I’m dying.. I wouldn’t want to frighten anyone if someone was home!
46.You liked Britney Spears: TOXIC!
47.You've liked a cousin: I love some of my cousins, but not in a sick-incest sorta way.
48.You've liked a teacher: Ahaha… NO.
49.You've seriously hurt someone: Yes, I’ve done some cruel things in my lifetime.
50.You're a Christian: YES!
51 You swear: Depends what country you’re from ;) But yes.. there are some of the universal words I use far too much.
52.You get your way: Umm.. sometimes?
53.You're willing to try new things: Most things.. ye.
54.You've cheated on a test: Yup.
55.You've smoked: Tried a cig once .. and it was the sickest thing.
56. You've got drunk: Once 

~*RIGHT NOW*~
57.What are you wearing: My baggyass jeans, polo T, and my Logic hoody.
58.What colour are your pants: American pants-jeans.. British pants-blue.
59.What are you listening to: Just the typing sounds of my fingers on the keyboard.. and Cameron turning the pages of his book.
60.How are you feeling: Wickedawesum!
61.What are you doing: Thinking about people in different countries, Praying for my friends & family, Fidgeting, and Filling this out.
62.What are you eating: There isn’t anything to eat.
63.How many people are online: No one, it’s veeeery early in the morning for Canadian people on my msn list, and the N.Irish people on my list are at work!
64.How's the weather? It was raining, but I see the sun through the curtains.
65.What's on your mouse pad: There is none.
66.What books are you reading: The only one I’ve got on the go at the moment is The Bible  At home I’ve got ‘Waking the Dead’ partly going.. I’m not a biggie for the books.

~*GIRLS ONLY*~
67.How many lip glosses do you have: Well, I just washed my favourite one the other day.. but I’ve got an orange one, and my Vaseline.. But I don’t do ‘gloss’.. just lip balm thank you very much!
68.What perfume do you use: I’m all out at the moment, but I’m gonna buy myself a pressie when I go home.. my fav Hugo Boss. I love I don’t have a purse.
70.Thong or regular panties: That’s a little personal-no? :P Just ‘regular’ I guess.
71.Tall or short boys: Taller than me.. can still be considered short to some.. eh?
72.Blonde or brunette guys: Dark.
73.Good or bad boy: What about a guy that’s good at being bad?
74.Boxers showing: Depends what sorta look he’s got going.. and whether they’re nice boxers or not.
75.Long hair or short hair on boys: Short
76.What do you find annoying in a guy: Pretty much everything.
77.What's the first thing you notice about guys: Tatts&piercings, Shoes, Smile.

Questions 78-87 were just ‘guys only’ and they were homosexual.. so I’ve just saved a lot of yous some trouble to delete it yourself.

~*OTHER QUESTIONS*~
88.What was the last movie you saw: Like sat down and properly watched? That would be the Sequel of Bridget Jones. I love it SO!
89.What did you have for dinner: Spaghetti Bolognese.
90.What are you hoping for: My wildest dreams to come true-VOTE FOR PEDRO!
91.Have you ever fallen asleep in school: Back in the day, oh ye!
92.What movie do you really want to see: Mickeybo&Me.. we don’t have it in Canada yet.. BOO!
93.Most pointless subject: Loads of em.
94.What is your locker combo: I used my bro’s at Slohawk.. I don’t have one of my own.
95.Where is your favourite place to travel: N.Ireland.. lots of good people to laugh with, and GREAT food!
96.What did you last dream about: I can’t remember them to talk about, but I remember having some good ones.
97.What was the last thing you ate: Rich Tea bikies.
98.Favourite career: I dunno.
99.Who was the last person you talked to on the phone: Jamesy... to see if I could crash at his place for some days.
100.Do you like the person that sent this to u? ‘Honda’ with an ‘S’ is AWESUM! She sends out phsyco emails.. and she’s a TITBAG – I LOVE HER!

today.. it's yesterday's tomorrow

2005-05-16T05:52:00.000-07:00

Today is my daddy's 54th birthday.. I think he's 54. I think he was born in '49....? LOL.. Anyways.
It was Megan&Michelle's big 19th bday yesterday! WOOHOOO!!!!!!
On Friday it's Patrick's 24th ... and then the week after that is my mother's bday as well. Crazy times.
Ki is also 5. Dunno if I mentioned that already.

Well.. what a crazy MORE couple of days...
I was back in Belfast Saturday morning.. then in Carnmoney on Saturday nite for a YFC thinger.. then I went home with the Axiom boys&Ashley.. we didn't get home till like half 1 in the morning. Then to Shankill on Sunday morning, then to James&Shirley's for dinner. I stayed at Ashley's that nite, then we were up to the YFC office this morning (Monday morning) WAY too early.. and then I got dropped off to Lindsey's parent's house at noonish. Turns out I'm no longer going up to Port Stewart with Lindsey on Sunday nite (DUH.. it's Monday morning already).. so I'm going to the Monkstown house.. to stay with James&Britt until Thursday morning/afternoon. Lindsey will be completely finished with her exams and then we'll be able to .. lol.. still laze around :)
I just jumped in the shower.. to find out there was no hot water.. so I'm just wating a wee bit to heat some water.. then I might run up to the shoppin centre... dunno, depends what time it is then.
But here.. I'm sorry it's such a boring post.. but I can't even think at the moment.

Taker easy.
Ciao all.
L ox

0007

2005-05-13T16:06:00.000-07:00

Anyone wanna play 20 question's?
I say.... here... if you've gotta question ask me. I'll do my best to answer :)

I know what I need to do, find one of them survey's and do them.. I'm bored outta my skull!!!!!!!!

Day Eight

2005-05-13T15:47:00.000-07:00

I've picked up an accent already- I'm yet again jealous of me :)

>>WARNING<<
I typed this out in a document.. and it came up all screwy, so I did the best I could to sorta make it nice, but it's probably a mess to read. SOrry!

What an adventure eh? Flip, I dunno where to start.. but at the beginning of it all :)

(Can I just say this: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've got bruises ALL over the right side of my entire body.. from James. Man, it's killer, but I'll get to that later I guess.)

The last time I left you.. was that I was about to have a wee nap right?

Friday - May 6
Well, that turned into a 5 hour stint. I layed down on the couch just to close my eyes, and I konked out! Apparently Lindsey came in to ask me if I wanted any lunch and I told her 'no' and then she came in later to see if I was coming to drop-in with her and again I said 'no'. I don't remember ANYTHING! LOL. I've never been known to talk in my sleep either, but why not try somet new right? I don't remember much after that.. I got up.. Lindsey and I had a wicked Indian for dinner.. not an Pocahantas for dinner.. like Indian FOOD you dolt! :P I think I was SO drugged up at the time that I really don't remember much. There was so much gravol and ginger and advil and 'others' in my system.. I slept like a log. Lindsey had to work at 0445 the next morning.. so it was alright.

Saturday - May 7
I woke up at like half 3(still am) to pee.. then didn't really sleep after that. After Lindsey got home, we just layed around the house for the morning.. then Bru came over and we went to town. That nite was Manafest.. so we just hung out in Belfast, then went early to pray.. (and get in free) LOL! Manafest was AMAZING! I hated goin last year-could be why I rarely went. Oh, Manafest is just a big worship&speaker event held every month in the Ulster Hall, Belfast. Last year we were on staff.. but I rarely went. But this time was AMAZING. They've changed it SO much (Thank the LORD).. it's no longer an entertainment deal. Ian Hannah led worship, and it was BRILLIANT! Then Andy Oaks (WHAT A LAUGH!) was the speaker.. and it was frikken class. Really. Oh the way home from Manafest.. so what.. maybe 11pm ish? We were coming off one of the back roads.. and hear the police sirens. Then he was behind us. I HATE that feeling. But sure, there was a car behind us as well right? Well this car behind us(no one could move we were at lights and there was traffic comin an all) just drove up on the footpath beside us and near took out Lindsey's mirror. (LOL.. on the left side of the vehicle.. the passenger.. me at the time.. ahh gotta love the backwardness eh?) Then the peelers chased after him on the footpath. (Still in his car) The boys were again stuck.. actually blocked by cars again and were stopped. The police drove up right beside em, and the police man opened the passenger door to completely block them. He stuck out his leg (which I still don't get why) and the 'run awayers' near took out his LEG! Anyways.. the chase continued, but by the time we got through the next lights everyone had disappeared.. but it was good fun being involved!!! :) HEHE!! So that was Saturday nite. I went home with Bru back to Killylegh until... Wednesday.

Sunday - May 8 (Mother's Day in Canada)
Emailed mum real quick to say Happy Mother's Day.I felt SO sick Sunday morning I didn't even go to church. I layed in bed for a while longer, but I didn't get ANY sleep Saturday nite at all-it stunk!Laura made a really yumym stir-fry for lunch after she got in from church, then we went up to Andrew's parent's house for a bit a craic. We went up to 'The Base' (The Dromore drop-in that Andrew works in) for a wee while, then all of us went to the Methodist church up the road for their evening service. It was a really good sermon about how we SHOULD be gettin persecuted and if you're not, then you're not doing enough with God .. basically!I missed home SO much that nite, I woulda come home if I coulda. I dunno WHAT it was, but whatever it was, I didn't like. AT ALL! It was yucky. I didn't end up gettin any sleep that nite either.

Monday - May 9
I ended up at half 3(again in the am) going downstairs for a bickie and a bowl of crunchy nut cereal. Maybe I was still in 'Canada time' that it would only be what.. 10pm for my body's clock to be on? We watched the film 'Cool Runnings' ahh, what a laugh! Sanka you dead man? No man! QUALITY!!!! For lunch we went to Roma's for some.. lunch obviously :P Laura spent her first 7 weeks with Roma until they got her her own house. Ye, then we went for a walk. Have you ever seen the film 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind'? MY word it was rare!!!!!

Tuesday - May 10 (Ki's 5th bday.. don't laugh!)
Didn't sleep at all Monday nite sure I didn't. It's been rough goin so far! AHHH! :P I dunno why I'm not sleeping BOO! Came downstairs around noonish to find the pastor's wife and another wee woman and a tiny kid running around in Laura's flat. Kay, the pastor's wife was just dropppin somet off.. and Carole the LOVELY wee lady was over for a chat. JT was her beautiful 4 year old son. What a laugh that kid! We had lunch together.... hmm what else. We went for another walk(me and Laura).. and then went up to Andrew's parent's house again. Oh.. Andrew is Laura's 'man' for those of you who don't know who I'm talkin about. We got tea (dinner tea, not cuppa tea tea) at the Master's place, then went to The Base for drop-in. It was a bit awkward, so it was.. not knowin anyone.. and nearly NO ONE came in that nite! It was rare. But got chattin to some of the girls that volunteer at The Base, and they are dead on like! Amazin girls! My verse of the day.. oh here, I've got two of them written down (I'm writing stuff from my journal)...
Psalm 18:20 (The Message)God made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before him.
1 Cor. 7:17 (The Message)Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life.
I thought of one person in particular, and told her about it later, it was quite cool, so it was :)

May 11 - Wednesday
Bru and I got up late *again no sleep for me* and OH YEAH. We stayed at the Master's house there (the drop-in's in Dromore.. so is Andrew's parent's house...... so I'm not longer in Killyleagh, but in Dromore) We got up late, and just hung out. Walked up to the jewlery shop in town and had a wee chat with Erica (the owner). We picked up Andrew's sister from school and drove two of her mates home as well. Then it was off to Carole's for the 'LIT meeting'. Originally at the office, but changed since it's always changing! LOL. It was a bit weird.. since I wasn't really supposed to be there.. not being on LIT an all :) But sure.. it was cool. We all got food and then hung out.. and did their thing an all. Then Jamesy and I went back to Ashley's pad.. (NOW we're in LURGAN.. following me still?) The three of us stayed up till like half 3 just talkin about Y-1 (these were two of my teammates from last year) it was the BEST CRAIC! We laughed SO much and just ahh.. it was amazing. Oh, all my bruises? Ye, Jamesy an I were dukin it out, and he doesn't know when to stop. .. at one point, just before going to bed we were at the top of the stairs and I pinched him, and he grabbed my arm SO hard I nearly swore my head off (if it wasn't for Ashley's flatmate sleeping, I woulda) and I nearly kicked him down the stairs. But he woulda taken me with, and we'd both have broken necks at this point-so it was better I didn't do anything. But the MARKS on my arm looks like I was actually abused!!!!! But sure, all the 'good times' reminescing eh? (Yes, I realise I dunno how to spell!) We actually went to bed when the rest of the animal kindgom was waking up. I couldn't figure out HOW birds could be that loud at 3am.. but it's true.. they were crazy loud as I was trying to get to sleep. I didn't get much if any sleep that night.

May 12 - Thursday
Ummm... let's see. The three of us went to the Rushmere shoppin centre to do a wee bit of shoppin. I picked up a frikken cool black cord jacket for £20. That's HALF my money!!! AHAHHA.. I'm going to die.. but I'll finish my story first :P We went to McD's for lunch (bok.. I nearly did.) I didn't eat much-wasn't feelin well. We watched Napoleon Dynamite.. Jamesy hadn't seen it. Ashley and I were CRACKIN UP!!!!!!!!!!! AHHH, I love that film!!!! We dropped Jamesy off later in town on the way to the Axiom house. (No need for me to explain all this, if you know what I'm talkin about-grande, if not-I'm sorry!) I'd dropped off washin there (Since.. I only packed for like a couple days, and I'd run out of clothes BIG time! So.. as Pete was makin dinner and chattin to me while I was takin my stuff outta the dryer (awkward gettin your underwear outta the dryer when ppl are watching you LOL) Ashley was outside with Laura(not Bru.. YET another one!! LOL) and Rosie. Awk, dear love her. I do anyways! Umm... ye, chatted to Pete for a bit, then went outside. We ended up at the Axiom house for the whole evening really. Met Tom Tate.. what a guy! But.. ended up Andrew (Not Laura's 'Andy' either.. ANOTHER Andrew - flip who came up with these names anyways eh?!) Ashley and I were chattin for a while. Then we called Jonny up.. he was over in a flash. Jonny was on our SummerServe team last summer. What a GUY! I love him!!!! It was SO much fun.. it was the four of us just crackin up all nite. GOOD times! I have a really sore rug burn on my shoulder tho ;) We figured out a lot of things.. like:*Laughing leads to sex* (NO ONE HAD SEX DON'T WORRY) *In 10 years I'll be 31* *When a girl's 25 and still single she's an "Ice Princess"* *"GAY" stands for "Giant Andrew Yummy" (You had to be there mate, sorry!)* Ahh.. good craic I tell ye. Umm ye, so Ashley an I were gonna go up to The Logic for the evening, but ended up in the Axiom house for the nite.

Friday - May 13 (FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH!) ((TODAY)) :)
Went to bed late last nite again... but I had to be up and ready for Lindsey to pick me up at half 10 this morning and I didn't have an alarm to wake up to - so I was lookin at my watch all nite basically. Umm.. ye, so got up and Lindsey got to Ashley's. I left a note for Ashley cuz she was still in bed.Lindsey an I got home.. got some lunch... I showered.. then we went to her old drop-in centre.. in Donaghadee.. right by the sea (oh it's SOOO lovely there - you can see the shores of Scotland from the beach.. it's AMAZING!!!!) Did drop-in from 3-4pm.. then went to see her granny .. then home.. and just chillaxed for the evening. It's only quarter to midnight here. But she's been long-ago in bed.. Lindsey's up early and at work for 0445 again right?

Well.. I think I'm all typed out for the time being... I hope blogger works.. but smart me has written in a word doc this time :) Well... I'm gonna be like a baby and head out now. Ciao man!!!!
BE good!!!!!
Ox

Day One

2005-05-06T02:51:00.000-07:00

Flip me. I'm completely knackered.

I'm IN Northern beaUTIFUL Ireland MY WADI I'm jealous of me!

It's SO good to be back here. It's amazin so it is :)
Lins is just rippin the arse outta my accent and how Canadian I sound :) I love it.

I got sick a couple hours before I had to go to Toronto to catch my flight.. so it's been a long LONG and knackering ordeal.
I've been up for ages now, Lins is makin have a wee nap before we go out to Donaghadee drop-in for a wee while. Then tonite is early to bed. I'm WRECKED!

But I'm here safe and sound.. even have bells on :)

Ciao all,
Lox

Two

2005-05-03T21:23:00.000-07:00

Twoday was a lazy day.

It was strange.. I went to bed.. woke up with my mum saying "bye" to dad. I thought she was off to MBC.. and I was like "how could she not have said 'bye' to me?" I heard the front door close.. and I jumped outta bed to see mum walkin down the steps. I knocked on the window and waved.. and saw she had no bags with her. I then thought "wow I'm stupid, she's just gone out for an appt." It was still early, like half 7, so I went back to bed. The cat came and slept in the bed.. then I got up at 12:50. It was lovely! I was wondering how my cat could love me.. (you know.. cuddle with me in bed?) then I realised he just wanted to know EXACTLY when I got up, so I could feed him for lunch. *He plans lunch about 15 minutes after breky!* I felt so used.
Mum came home later.. and I laughed and told her about my episode this morning thinking she was leaving for MBC. It turns out, there's a note on the calander about MBC (that's how it was in my head) and there's no way she'd leave.. she's takin me to the airport on Thurs! LOL.

So.. I woke up this morning with a really sore throat.. dunno where that came from right? (It's 12:31 on Wednesday morning technically) and before I went to bed (I went to bed, but I can't sleep.. AGAIN) I saw white patches on my throat.. frikken STREP!!! So, dad told me to get to the doc's early tomorrow cuz it's only a half day.. so we'll see if I can get in and get meds to clear my throat up. Yipee.

But back to my lazy day. I kicked around. Folded some laundry. Made a wee dessert for tonite's "hoopla" at Stiner's :) THAT was awesum. Just hangin about in the house-good food, sweet tea and good craic. Reminds me of one of my favourite quotes:

"Give me books, French wine, fruit, fine weather and a little music out of doors, played by somebody I do not know." - - John Keats

Anyways.. so Tammy's off to New York for a couple days with her school. :) SWEET! Some wicked times ahead for sure!!!!!

But, I've got to go.. I'm being beckoned as the relationship counsellor once again :P AHAHH.. I honestly don't know why people ask me.. I'd never take my own medicine..

Ciao.

Three... ish

2005-05-02T21:55:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness.. I'm gone in three sleeps. But it's 12:56am on Tuesday morning.. so technically only TWO SLEEPS!!!!!!!!!! OH MY LIFE!!!!

I think I had one of the most boring weeks of my life so far in the past two weeks. I did nothing. I'm outta school. Not working.. and twiddling my fingers here at home.

Over the weekend.. was the usual going out and chillaxin with Sarah an Linds.. Sunday morning was chruch.. Sunday afternoon .. hanging with Sarah then Biblestudy at nite. That was the last C&C nite! :( BOO!!! We went to Wendy's like usual after.. and Shelly (my date for the wedding) bought me a tea since I only had a penny in my wallet, and I had taken 500 bucks out to pay mum for part of my ticket - so I couldn't even go to the bank and withdrawl more :( I heard THE best jokes I've ever heard.. oh my goodness, Nathan's AMAZING!!!!!!!!! AHAHHAHAHA GOOD time!!!
"I've been white for only 5 minutes and I already hate you guys" AHAHA.. and the rubbing the "lamp".. Baaaaaa... AHHAHA.. and the tied up goat. OH MAN, good times!!!

Last nite I got home like at midnight ish (went to Lindsay's after) and then couldn't sleep. It was past 2 in the morning. Went downstairs and crashed on the couch. Woke up with my frikken cat at like 7am. Then crawled up to my bed and slept for a wee bit. But I really haven't had much sleep for like a week now. I'm going to be SO tired on Friday nite with the time change and jet lag BOO!!!!!!
I called Michael today.. talked to him for 64 minutes!!! LOL. We both hate the phone desperately.. but I missed him so much. He was up to Ottawa with Becky :) Yeaah she's done her thesis completely now :)
Sarah - you know that razor I got at ardene? (When you bought anything... there was like a "shick" advertisement going on, that everyone got a free one and coupouns and stuff.) Well, I frikken got razor burn all over my legs today!! AHHH burn baby burn!
Went to Nathan's place tonite for a wee "movie nite" sorta deal. It was hilarious! We watched "Pet Semetary" and I thought it was going to be THE gayest thing ever.. but that's the first time I've ever been freaked out in a movie. OH MY LIFE... lets just say, I'm thankful for my chin :) AHAHAH!!!!!

*Oh! Got an email from Heather, she's in Calgary all safe and sound.. and still looking for a job*

Ahhh.. so you know my obsession with the knee hi purple converse shoes? I finally found a shop that carried them.. went there with Sarah.. and what? They have no SMALL ones for me!! There was a 5.5 but it was too big. Then all huge sizes.. and they's all in men's sizes right? Ahh.. RAGE like!!!!

I'll be leavin Thurs afternoon.. at partly cloudy skies and 15 degrees.. to go to light ran and 13 degrees! This weather's only been preparing me for Northern Irish weather. It's been the STRANGEST. Did anyone see the pea-sized HAIL we had on and off today?! In between the rain and sun and wind and craziness?! It's madness I tell you. But I'm glad it's like this weather here. I'd feel bad if I was leaving really nice sunny 28degree weather for rainy 6degree weather :D

Ho man. I gotta pack sometime. Honestly... packing overwhelms me to the point that I'd rather ROT in my clothes than PACK. I'm a silly one you say. Oh, I completely agree, but it doesn't help the matter. I've got most of my clothes all washed.. and sorted what I want to bring. I just frikken HATE the motions of packing. Oh, I need help desperately.

WOOHOO!!!! Tomorrow nite will be fun too! I hope it's going to be another lazy ass nite. I'm so frikken tired, yet can't sleep. AHHH I hate it!!!! There's too much on my wee mind and I'm too excited to sleep now.

Ohhh.. and Dave with his mixed up Malaria-dreams. I never remember having any weird dreams when I was on it :S Ah.. it's ok Dave.. it'll all be over soon.. and you'll be in a WARM country!! WOOHOO!

I miss school. I miss DOING something. I'm honestly bored bored bored. I miss the girlies I used to hang out with at school. I'll have to go visit sometime once I get home.

But here.. my blogg's awefully boring AGAIN. I gotta DO something that's cool.. that people will care about. That'll be hard to come by. But anyways.. I'll be tryin to chase some Zzzzz's down.
Ciao all.
OX!

Seven.. opps

2005-04-28T20:04:00.000-07:00

Apparently I can't count. Cuz it's still Thursday, and still 7 sleeps till I go away, not eight.

I just finished watching CSI and ER. ER totally doesn't do it for me anymore. But I love CSI.

I'm in a better mood than I was a wee while ago, but I'm still having a grumpy day.

I have blueish black hair once again. I love it.

I smell like blueberries.. I swear it's my hair dye gone to my brain. But I love it.

My room looks so empty. I took down the wallpaper boarder today. I thought it was going to be pretty much hellish - after doing Sarah's room - WOW.. I'm thankful I was mistaken. It came off no problem. Pretty much my room is all in boxes, yet again. I feel like that's my life. Boxed up ready to go to the next location. I'm sick of it really. I want to be unloaded and taken outta wrapping and be finished with. Good laugh that is eh?

Girl's nite got sorta cancelled as there weren't enough bodies coming. I dunno if I'll get to see them before I leave. Then there's Dee I won't get to see before I leave. Church I'll be able to say "ciao" so most ppl.. then ye, that's me I guess. Mum's takin me to the airport. It'll be a bit awkward, I've never had to say "bye" really to her before. Don't ask.
Now that I'm really on my way soon I was thinking about "What if something happens while I'm gone." Last time I left dad's mum died.. so soon before I was supposed to get home. Mum's parents are pretty much healthy.. I'd just hate it if something happend to them.. ever. I'm not looking forward (as selfish as it is, they'll be with Jesus and I'll even get to see them again) to hearing that they aren't on earth anymore. It's a weird business.. death is.
It's Jordan's one year anniversary of being in Heaven on Monday. I wonder how his family's doing.

As much as I hated (with a PASSION) going to school everyday.. I'm beginning to die of bordem here! I've only been finished with school for 9 actual "school days" and I'm honestly going mental. There's not much to do here.
I could play piano. I should. I need so much practice. I'm loosing it, nearly completely.
I could read my Bible more. I should. I need SO much more wisdom and guidence from God. He's amazing you know. DID you know that?

>>God loves YOU so much that He sent His only son to be the only thing that could save us. Jesus loves YOU so much that He did it. What a dynamic duo them too eh? And the Holy Sprit? We have him on earth and with us everyday to help us? HELLO? We're blessed!<<

Well, I think I'm off to bed. God a busy day of nothing again, ahead of me! Can't be late!

Nite.
Ox

Eight

2005-04-28T10:00:00.000-07:00

WOW. Ever have those REALLY grumpy days?! Flip me. I definately rolled outta bed on the frikken WRONG side this morning.

So.. I didn't get much 'rest' last nite. I feel like I've been hit by a Mac truck actually. This weather doesn't help. I've got a splittin head. GAAH!

So.. I hate my hair. Wow.. can you say drama queen? Flip sake. So, I prob spent a half hour on it this morning.. and couldn't get it. My hair's GAY. I'm wearing a brown paper bag to the airport I've decided. Mum just said she'll take me.

I could CRY right now, I frikken don't know what's wrong with me.. but I'm SOOO grumpy. It's 1:04pm.. I think I'm gonna get some lunch then go watch Sid&Nancy.

Ciao.
Hope you have a wicked awesum day!

2005-04-27T20:07:00.000-07:00

"Don't give up all your romance, Anne," he whispered shyly, "a little of it is a good thing--not too much, of course--but keep a little of it, Anne, keep a little of it."
* * * * *
WOW. A week tomorrow I leave. I'm gettin real excited an all, but sorta freaked out as well.

I didn't do a whole lot today. Got up early JUST to call Sarah.. who was already UP!!! I don't know why I suffer :P
We went to get my hair cut. It was nice. It IS nice :) I'm gonna have to get more hair goop before I go. But apparently my hairline on the bottom of my hair's homosexual. I have a wee cowlick (however you wanna spell that one) on the left side. I guess I've never noticed.. but ... anyways, the bottom of my hair's gay :( But I like the rest :)

Well, I know you've all been waiting to hear this news:

You ready?

(I can see Candice smiling already)... after many years of "pssssh"ing this film. I watched it. Ann*with an E* of Green Gables. I loved it when she just frikken breaks the chalkboard offa buddy's head. Gilbert.. what a name! I think my favourite part is when he "rescues" her, when her wee boat sinks lol ! She's so frikken stubborn. I love it. Except I got a lot of *looks* like "Goodness Laura.. do YOU know anyone that stubborn?!" lol. AHAA!! There's many mixed feelings I've got towards that film. But whatever.
I've already got homework to do when I watch the second one. Apparently A's a lot like Anne's character..

Wow, I'm loosing my touch. I've, AGAIN, nothing to write about.
BOOORING BLOGGS!

Ciao.

nine part two

2005-04-26T16:14:00.000-07:00

If you like Radiohead then pump the volume here.
If you don't like Radiohead - what's wrong with you, but you still have the opportunity to appreciate this funky.
Checker out.

http://home.cogeco.ca/~mdmalloy/images/creep.swf

((Nine))

2005-04-26T14:39:00.000-07:00

Ever heard this song by Avril? Well, I'm lovin it.

Fall To Pieces
I looked away
Then I looked back at you
You tried to say
Things that you can't undo
If I had my way
I'd never get over you
Today's the day
I pray that we make it through
Make it through the fall
Make it through it all

Chorus
I don't want to fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it 'cause I'm in love with you

You're the only one
I'd be with 'til the end
When I come undone
You bring me back again
Back under the stars
Back into your arms

Want to know who you are
Want to know where to start
I want to know what this means
Want to know how to feel
Want to know what is real
I want to know everything, everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amen Avril, Amen!

There's not much to write home about today I'm afriad.
Work - I didn't do anything.
Went to Sarah's in the afternoon, helped her set up things for her mum.. for tonite. Got an appointment for my hair cut tomorrow :) Woop Woop. I tell ye, I'm ready to look hot. BWAHAHA.
Dunno about the purple. I'll talk with Sarah's woman tomorrow, see how much it'll be. They have to order it in anyways. So I might get it next week. I'm guessing not. Boo tho, I want to get a chunk of purple in the front of my hair. If not, then I've got the blueblack colour I could do.

Oh man, this is maybe the worst posting ever. I've got NOTHING on my brain today. My bedroom walls are like my brain.. bare naked.

Ciao all.
Ox

p.s.
This song has also been in my head lately :) Ahh Bree Sharp, she's a legend!!

David Duchovny
It's Sunday night; I am curled up in my room
The T.V. light fills my heart like a balloon
I hold it in as best I can
I know I'm just another fan
But I can't help feeling I could love this secret agent man
And I can't...

Wait any more for him to discover me
I got it bad for David Duchovny
David Duchovny, why won't you love me?
Why won't you love me?
Why won't you love me?

My friends all tell me,
"Girl, you know it's just a show,"
But deep within his eyes
I see me wrapped up like a bow
Watching the sky for a sign
The FBI is on my mind
I'm waiting for the day
When my lucky stars align
In the form of...

David Duchovny floating above me
In the alien light of the spaceship of love, I need
David Duchovny hovering above me
American Heathcliff, brooding and comely
David Duchovny, why won't you love me?
Why won't you love me?
Why won't you love me?

So smooth and so smart
He's abducted my heart
And I'm falling apart
From the looks I receive
From those eyes I can't leave
And you may say I'm naive
But he told me to believe...

Ooooooooo....

My bags are packed, I am ready for my flight
Want to put an end to my daydream days and sleepless nights
Sitting like a mindless
clone Wishing he would tap my phone
Just to hear the breath of the man, the myth, the monotone
And I would say...

David Duchovny, why won't you love me?
Why won't you love me? Why won't you love me?
David Duchovny, why won't you love me?
Why won't you love me? Why won't you love me?
David Duchovny I want you to love me
To kiss and to hug me, debrief and debug me
David Duchovny I know you could love me
I'm sweet and I'm cuddly - I'm gonna kill Scully!
David Duchovny, why won't you love me?
Why won't you love me? Why won't you love me?
Yeah...

I'll be waiting...
In Nevada...

10

2005-04-25T21:58:00.000-07:00

We can't rewind...

Well, paint colours have been sorted. A new floor has been sorted. I still haven't been able to find those mints for Paul.

I did find tho, a 20 Pound note and some change of about 5 pounds. That's about 59 CANADIAN dollars! Woop woop! :) It sucks, I have no shopping money for when I go over there. :( Boo!

Michael an I both got hair dye. Both the same colour. It's sick how much our minds work alike. It's the deep blue black colour. This is just in case I don't get purple in my hair when I go on *hopefully* Wednesday to get my hair cut as well. I don't want much of any length cut off, just into a style you know? But I haven't been able to find anything that doesn't chop my hair off. I did find one just tonite that's sorta funky looking.

Right here:
http://www.ukhairdressers.com/style/index2.asp?R1=3299&month1=26&pg=1&styl1=Shane%20Bennett
Just picture a chunk of purple in that fringe :) Wahhoo!
I like my hair short at the back. So, maybe that's what I'll go with for now. The top of my hair's growing out pretty fast I think. In 8 months.. it's this long. That's alright eh?

My room is neked! I took everything off the walls. I'm not packin up my bookshelves.. the boys can do that when they need to move it :)

Hmmm I think my blogg's boring tonite.. ah well sorry!

Oh yeh, I wanna mention how cool my friends are :) I'm totally lookin forward to going to the Queen's Head on Thurs :) Good craic for sure. But, I had a very encouraging talk with Candice. Isn't it funny.. I'm sure she didn't feel like she was saying that much in encouraging words.. but God uses our "normal" convo's to really do whatever He's gotta do? I love it :)

Well, I'm gonna get offline here.. well maybe. I'm waitin for TravASS to get back here, but he's being slooow.

Ciao all,
Ox

11

2005-04-24T21:08:00.000-07:00

Life isn't a tea party - it's testing ground.

I like that. That was Candice's pastor this morning. I thought he was from S. Africa.. and I was right. It's their "r's" lol. "Horrible" lol, ah - priceless!

Did you know that Peter looks a spittin image of his daddy? LOL :)

Oh ye, so I was at Tammy & Candice's church this morning for Tammy's profession of faith. She did so well. I'm so proud of her. I swear that kid couldn't get prettier if she tried!!!! :)
After church we all headed to Tammy's house.. to a REALLY crowded living room. Ahaha.. there was that crazy guy that was way too flirty with taken-girls.. and FAR too much "massaging" of gf's&bf's and them all sittin on each other's laps.. and holding hands.. I felt like I was in grade 9 again. I hate that. But oh well. I wasn't stuck there all day.
*LOL* I was talkin to Anton.. and this guy sticks out his hand to shake mine.. and says, "I'm John, and you're lip ring's extremely hot".. I was actually gobsmacked.. lol I laughed then said, "thannnks, I don't get that often. It's usually 'ew that's gross, take it out' ".. he asked me where I was from and I told him.. I didn't even lie! But at the same time someone got their drink spilled on them.. and that was that. I'm quite sure the guy was like 17 or something!!! LOL. But.. ye, there's a first for everything eh? At least it's better than a really old guy asking to try it out right? EW!

So, Patrick and Michael (my lovely brothers) have decided what they are doing for an early bday pressie to me. Since they don't like shopping for me, and I want this real bad. They are helping me re-do my bedroom! While I'm away for 30 some odd days, they are going to fix the walls, paint em, paint up the trim and baseboards.. and put in a new floor for me!!! How awesum are they? :) It'll be so much easier for everyone cuz my stuff I'll just pack up before I go. Then that way.. they'll know what they're doing.. and they can just work without having me be an ass :) And I don't have to worry about sleepin on a couch for two weeks or something.
I've got awesum plans for my room when I get back. We're puting a shelf running on the top of the walls on two sides.... (It's a good thing to be short sometimes! I won't feel like I'll be hittin my head on them or anything) I've got cool lighting I'm puttin in (sorry, my dad or bro's will) and it'll be very "loft apartment" look-a-like :) I'm excited.

Well.. I'm at a loss for words....
I missed my church this morning.. and I didn't even get out to church in the evening - I had a splitting headache.. and no ride. I don't think many people were out at all.

Waterloo eh?? That's BARRY intresting :)

Ciao!!!!!!!!

Ox

2005-04-21T21:43:00.000-07:00

Well, I suck.
I tried to spice up my blogg.. and I'm feelin it now :(

I lost all my links (so sorry if you're missing, leave me a message about it!) and I'm not happy with my blogg anymore, but I can't get it back to the way it was.

BOO!!!!

Anyways. Taker easy.
Ox

HA!

2005-04-21T15:32:00.000-07:00

I do look like Wallace!!!!!!

14

2005-04-21T13:15:00.000-07:00

Where to start. I honestly feel like a blogg junkie when even one day goes by and I feel like I'm missing something inside. Sad when that happens eh?

But I'm back for the time being. I've actually been quite a few places since my last blogg. What was that on Friday? Well lets recap.

April 10-15 was spent in the Boucher residence.. watching loads of tv, studying for my last week of school and exams and going buckdaft without internet connection anywhere near me. It was strange. Mum came to pick me up and was gobsmacked that I actually survived without internet. She said she was gonna text me, but then didn't know how. Doesn't matter how many times I show her either, it doesn't sink in.

Got home Friday nite, I think I just putzed around.. I can't remember all that much... went to bed, you know what normal people try to do. I went out Saturday afternoon to Lindsay's place. I honestly can't remember what we did. But I was there late. Then home. Then church in the morning, then I went to hers again.... and did lunch. Then Dave came over (oh ye, he was over Sat nite too) and we went for a wee hike down to #6 via the back "fields" and ended up at the cool graffiti tunnel. Took some funky pics of us being dorks.. then went for DQ. The Strawb cheesequake blizzard? LOVELY! It was excellent :) MM MM goood :) Then Davey went home.. he had loads of bollocks studying to do. Oh, ok, so it musta been Sat nite.. we (Linds, Meg, Dave and I) were just sitting around the kitchen table talkin about God stuff.. it was SO great! I love doing that. Just talkin about what we were struggling with, and what God's doing in and through us. And talkin about Dave's upcoming trip.
((He leaves for Tanzania on May 4th!)) He's gone for 6 weeks to South Africa to do missions work there. I'm so excited.. I feel like I'm going myself!
Heather's also going to Calgary for 3 months - leaving May1st!
It was a very fun weekend.. then it ended up with work at 0730 at the dreaded Place. LOL.. see what I did there? "Alexander Place" .. lol nevermind :P
As I was walkin home on Monday afternoon, got a wee text from Sarah askin if I wanted to hit up St. Kitts with her to see Dee on Tues and stay over.
WOW that was fun too! So.. it was frikken 28 degrees.. Sarah picks me up, makes me drive back to her place (standard woohoo!). We cleaned out her car.. she even vaccummed!! Quite a shocker even to me :P Then we were off. Got to Dee's... went out to Joe Feta.. HOLY YUUUUUMMY slovaki (or however you spell it) and chips.. mmm SO good! Then............... that was like half 2. We went to Port Dalhousie (however you spell THAT one!) and walked around the water. Saw a couple nice lookin boys :) Sarah and Dee would barely walk beside me just cuz I had my "Mohawk" pants rolled up.. lol ahaha I love being an ass! We went to this VERY cool candy shop :) Ahhhh.. totally hittin that place up in the summer time :) :) :) Parte! Hmmm.... we just hung out at home the rest of the evening. Went to bed earlyish cuz we're all tired ol women! LOL. I didn't sleep a wink that nite. I was so pissed off.. lol.. Sarah was real loud.. but ye, whatever the case, I didn't get any sleep. Finally Dee an Sarah woke up and we decided to go to Wimpey's for breky. WOW - Wimpey's changed my life! That was THE breakfast HANDS DOWN that I've ever eaten. And that coffee.. mmm I miss working at Tony's. After "brunch" we went to Niagara Falls area.. and hit the outlets. Dee's aunt had a bday, and we were out to get her an outfit. We went to Esprit... you know the so-expensive-shop-you-don't-even-look-in? Well it was a FUN trip in there! Dee got Coleen a gorgeous skirt and a top for dirt cheap. And I got a pair of brown LOOOOVELY cords for 6.99. It was only after I got in last nite, late, that I looked at the tag. The original price for my trousers????? $99.50!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOODNESS GRACIOUS!! What were they thinking?!?! But none the less, they are mine, and it didn't cost much :) Went home (still in St. Catherines) and just hung out.. did some things.. whatever. Sarah and I decided that we are going to make a video of their house and send it to Extreme House Makeover. I've HAD it! Dee's house is crazy falling apart.. and they deal with too much in that wee house of theirs. Dee's sister has CP.. and autism(yet again, my spelling sucks) and her dad has recently been off work due to MAJOR health set backs. So I think next week Sarah an I are going up with a vid cam an all, and doin it! I'm also gettin my hair cut by her aunt. :)

Sooo.. that was Tues-Wednesday nite..
Got up early today, did some "homey" things.. cleaned up a wee bit. Did some reading of my own. Worked out finally. Gotta get back into doing that. It felt so good thou. AHH summer's coming!!!!!! Gotta get rid of the "Molson muscle" AHAHAHHAHA I killed myself the first time I heard that. Apparently that's "love handles" in Canadian lingo. But it'd make more sense if it was the "beer belly".. you know? Awk well, in any case, I'm lovin it.

As soon as my father gets home I'm going to hound him with questions about his dumb insurance that hopefully will still cover me although I'm outta school. BOO!!! But either way, after that I'm bookin my flight. I'm leaving Thursday nite, May 5 !!!!! I talked with Lins and Laura this morning and this is so far the itinerary we've gotten sorted: (Not that you care, but I do.. AHAHA)
I leave 2040 on May 5 from Toronto.
Arrive in Belfast Int'l Airpot at 0805 on May 6. Lindsey's pickin me up!!!!
I'm spending the nite with her.
Manafest is on May 7 in the evening. I'm going to see LOADS of people! I'm going home with Bru (Laura).. till the 11th. On the 11th we're back in Belfast for a Training Day. *Note, I'm not part of the team, but they can suffer and have me around for the day* I'm going home with Ashley, spending the nite at her place.
Thursday, the 12th, Lindsey's pickin me up at noonish.
From there it's gonna be crazy party.. who knows what'll happen! I'm so excited!!!!!

Oh!!! By the way, Laura is the proud auntie of two baby twin girls!!!!!! On Saturday her sister in law had em. They are home safe and sound and everyone's happy & healthy. Yea, for Katie and Hailey!!! :) Laura's comin back to Waterloo from the 12th-25th of May.

Got a wee bit of a reality check yesterday nite. Was driving home with Sarah and she was like, "Ok Laura, I have to tell you somet.. don't get upset but I have to tell you" (I had no idea what to think of it). But see, one day Sarah picked me up from school maybe like a month an a half ago, and was in rough shape. She was going through some stuff, but it was different that day. She said she'd talk about it when she was ready. Well here it was.
She was saying ever since I've been home, talkin all that rubbish that "there's nothing for me here" etc.. she just felt like she was nothing to me. She's my bestfriend and the Devil got between us. It was a lot to handle there, but I had to hear it sometime or I'd never know, and I needed to know to get my ass kicked in a wee bit (in a v. good way - to learn from it) right?
There was more than just "that" there, but ye.. so I've been thinkin all day about what was said.. and I am really pissed at myself. I'm not going to dwell on it cuz then Satan would have a foothold on me, and I'm not about to let him have nothin! But I am really sad that I hurt Sarah and probably MANY people when I came home. I had hopes in my head that things were gonna be different in my house. And they weren't. They were pretty much backsliden. But this isn't the point. This is:

I'm sorry to anyone I've hurt by saying stupid stuff like "there's nothing for me here in Waterdown/surrounding area".. "I hate it here".. "insert anything dumb I've said over the past 8 months".. I really am. You can kick me the next time you see me if you like. :P

Oh to different news. Travis has found the love of his life! Jamesy's still workin on his. Kyle&Meg celebrated their 2 years together on Wednesday. Tammy has to let her bf go away for 6 weeks. :(

It is also chilly out now.
Ciao.
Ox

20 more sleeps!

2005-04-15T17:09:00.000-07:00

I haven't been this excited in a while... ladies and gentlemen............ on Monday I'm buyin my ticket for NORN IRON! It's actually 20 more sleeps counting today. WOOHOO!!! I'll (DV) be leaving on May 6 and comin back June 11... 35 days there :) Ah, I canny WAIT!!!

I'm officially finished with Slowhawk.. finished my last exam this afternoon. I was literally prancing around my grammama's house. LOL. I like the fact she can understand that if I hate the programme it's a waste of time to continue for another year an a half.

Anyone see CSI last nite? Brilliant I tell ye.
I also watched a whole wack of episodes of The Gilmore Girls...yes, I love that programme.. and would watch it religiously.. but counting as tho, I've never gotten to see a new episode when they woulda been new.. if you know what I mean? But on April 19th there are new episodes... I plan to see if I can watch em :) Something about that show.. I dig it - loads. Lots of reasons, Rory is very intelligent, esp comparred to the ditzy girls of say, The O.C.! Could it be that Luke is just grade A? Hehe. DON'T even go there.. I get too many comments about how hot Rory AND her mom are.. ahhhhhahah!

Speakin of Monday, it's biblestudy nite.. WOOHOO!

June 24th.. Stacie&Nathan's wedding. *Wedding gifts*

Please listen as I disclaim things :
I'm sorry if I've offended any of yous. I am. I will watch my language. And I will omit certain senarios perhaps? :P

Ciao all..
Have a frikken awesum weekend.

L ox

Here it is.

2005-04-08T06:52:00.000-07:00

I've been asked.. to update my post ;)

I really don't have much to say, but I can tell you I'll rage and ramble on about something stupid. Why not, I've got 3.5 hours to piss around here on my own before my next class. Loooovely. I'm gonna go read my book in a wee while I think.

I say this rarely: but this book is BRILLIANT!!!!
Waking the Dead - The glory of a heart fully alive By: John Eldrege.....
ABSOLUTELY BRILIANT!

God's timing is fantastic. I coulda read this book a thousand times, yet it's SOOOOOOOOO relevant RIGHT NOW.. TODAY.. It's aaaawesum :) I don't even know how to explain or what I'm trying to say, but I'll write about it once I'm done the book.
http://www.amazon.ca/exec/obidos/ASIN/158926732X/qid=1112969719/sr=2-2/ref=sr_2_3_2/701-5445330-5584340

Speaking of writing.. I have something sorta intresting(to me I think).. frikken encouraging anyways. So, I emailed all my teachers saying "thanks for whatever.. and I'm not continuing in T&T here" right? I MEANT each email, especially to some of them boys. So, I get an email back from my communications teacher.. that made me laugh but then smile! She pretty much said, "Good luck, blah blah, I think you're a stong student.. uni level for sure.. go for it!"
I was like "holy bollocks!!!" It was pretty encouraging.. this woman.. she's a machine.. she used to be a journalist for the NY Times.. SHE'S TELLING ME I'm a strong writer?!?!? I was pretty proud there. I told my rents when I got home and mum says to me, "What, you didn't know that?".. I told her back "I've never believed that stuff" BUT THE FACT IS, I've never heard that before.. like HOLY what the heck? My parents make me laugh.
Another good thing coming from my emails was that my favorite teacher said to me in class yesterday "Thanks for the email, I mean it, I was really depressed and it just made my day".. I was like.. "Well you frikken make my day whenever we have your classes!" Mrs. Schwenk is AMAZING :)

A guy just sat next to me.. he's got bright orange CONVERSE shoes.. the "hi tops".. I'm still gettin my purple 'x-hi tops' :) Soon :)

Awk, is it not the nicest, most gorgeous day outside? I wish I could take a comfy chair from this lounge and bring it outside.. then I could read outside :)

So.. I think I'm gonna take a break from blogging .. as of THIS POST. I'm stayin at my grandparents from Sunday nite-Friday after school. They don't have internet, and I have internet access at school like, but I think I'm gonna take a break from it (Not that I have been to devoted in the past wee while anyways). I'm gonna have a LOT of free time next week.
Free time to:
*Spend quality time with my Best friend (Psst GOD)
*Journal
*Read my BOOK!!!! Woop woop!
*Study.. ahah like that'll happen, but what else is a girl to do but study for the exams she's gonna JUST barely pass eh?
*Sleep, I'll be able to sleep. After Monday, I think most of my "day"s at school start later. And I'll be 5 walkin min away from school.. YIPEE!

You know what's sad... I'm in the I-wing at Slohawk... and I can see 2 other girls...... and like 100 guys. And besides the guy beside me with the best shoes.. there's no one cool looking in here. NO TALENT.. what's WRONG WITH THIS WORLD?!?!
LOL.. .

Well, I'm about to depart from my blogger world.. I'll read your guys' blogs over the week.. but I'm not posting mine till next weekend..

Ciao all,
Eat the sunshine :)

Ox

Dreadfully sorry..

2005-04-03T09:07:00.000-07:00

I do apologize.. [sorta] - I'm kinda a space cadet.. kinda all over the joint.. So if you do know me.. and are trying to follow my "journey" I do apologize for making it more complicated than need be.

Hold up.. it's not that I apologize for being a twit.. I'm just STATING that I am. I am what I am.. end of story. Don't like it? Don't look at it :)

So last night was a bit of a weird one. I was desperately missing Northern Ireland and my friends there. I was a bit down and tired which is never a good combo as you might know from experience-yours or someone else's. Chatted with wee Nick and Dave for a bit then went to bed. I think it was 12 past 12midnight (real) time.. but only felt like 11ish. I layed in my bed and was prayin...... I felt so fake. I dunno.. fake is a bad word here, I felt like my mouth was full of sand.. you know that feeling?! It's pants!!!
You know in Genesis 32 when Jacob wrestled a 'man' but it was God. I felt that I was wrestling God last nite. I was just desperate for Him to hear my prayers. I tried again to pray, and it was real. (I still don't know what happened there) But I was able to just cry out to God for help. I wanted Him to tell me what to do. I'm so frikken lost at the moment.
(I'm done with Mohawk in 2 weeks) (Am I gonna go forward with the military?) (Should I just apply to uni for social work instead?) (Am I ever going to work in N.Ireland again?) (I guess Dromore drop-in's outta the picture forever?)
>I'm scared about going forward with the military< >I don't want to EVER go back to Slowhawk< >But I'm not so keen on the idea of going to Mac<
EVERYTHING'S CHANGING EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Last night was one of the first nights in too-long of a while that I've been completely honest with God - expressing my deepest darkest feelings an all. It wasn't easy, but it's not like He doesn't already know eh? LOL.
I turned on my stereo... and the nice cd that Dave made me with all the "quiet" songs was in. The song "The Voice of Truth" by: Casting Crowns really hit me.. have a look:

"Voice of Truth"
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
on to the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand

But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy, you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

Chorus:
But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes
to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone

Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out my name
And he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

Chorus:
But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth

But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
On top of them lookin' down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me

Chorus:
But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me (calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe-

I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth

I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the Voice of truth
I will listen and believe
Cause Jesus you are the voice of truth
And I will listen to you, you are-
* * * *
I've heard this song a million times, yet last nite it seemed to cut like a frikken knife, it was AMAZING! It just gave me so much hope.... Laura.. doesn't matter if you're scared outta your pants - just jump outta yer boat darlin! He's got me just where He wants me.
I just BEGGED for God to tell me what to and to show me HOW to do it. I begged Him to talk to me. To show me what to do, where to go.. I want Him to SHOUT at me, show me so clearly since I'm a dunce! :)
I really think Social Work is what I'm supposed to go forward with. I've thought this a long time, yet I'm just a stubborn ass :P WHY do I make my life more difficult on myself?!! ! DUMBASS!
God really speaks to me through people. I can think of a couple people that have told me what God's been tellin them what they think I should do.. and it's been really encouraging. So, I'm waiting for God to affirm this Social Work stuff. I need LOTS of signs. I doubt myself too much. God knows; I'm just a dumym sometimes, and I need Him to remind me over an over again what is the right choice.. etc.

This morning.. was just God reminding me how much He loves me. (I LOVE THAT!!!) Isn't it funny.. how you can hear somet or read somet over an over.. but then one day it particularly hits you in the teeth? I love that too. We sang "I'm Trading my Sorrows" this morning.. I'm copy the lyrics just cuz it's a great piece of work:

"I'm Trading my Sorrows"
I'm trading my sorrows
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord
I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord
And we're singing

Yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord
Yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord
Yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord, Amen

I'm trading my sorrows
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord
I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord
And we're singing

Yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord
Yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord
Yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord, Amen

I am pressed but not crushed,
Persecuted not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed
I am blessed beyond the curse
For His promise will endure
That His joy is gonna be my strength
Though the sorrow may last for the night
His joy comes in the morning

I'm trading my sorrows
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord
I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord
And we're singing

Yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord
Yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord
Yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord, Amen

And we're singing
Yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord
Yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord
Yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord, Amen

Yes Lord, Amen
Yes Lord, Amen!
* * * *
I don't know what else to say at the moment.. I gotta get offa here so Lins can read and then I can set up this thinger...
Ciao!!!!!
Ox

Those who are about to rock.. salute you

2005-04-02T18:35:00.000-08:00

For those of us who know and love the Axiom team of '03-'04.. I found these quotes on a page.. and KILLED myself laughing and remembering good times:

There is a phenomenon called Axiom disease. The symptoms include becoming extremely confused when speaking, writing or generally communicating in any way! Here are some examples…
“Jesus made the dead people see” Andy
“Andy, you’ve got loads of hair on your head” Amy
“You have to be pacific” Suzi
“The girls are the boys” Andy
“We expect you to treat the equipment with expect” Suzi
“Is there a surfboard in our bathroom?” Andy (and there wasn’t)
“Imagine if stars were pin pricks in the sky showing us a little bit of heaven” Jonny
“I love you gugs, I mean guys!” Laura
“Come on now! 1-2-3 everyone be nice! 1-2-3!” Andy when being tickled
“Is there banana milk in this tea?” Amy (and there was!)
“Are you wearing my socks again, Andrew?” Laura
“Hello God, me again” Amy’s prayer
“Wee bit off the top please Jonny” Andy
“And as we go home… or as some of us go home… and we stay here in the house because we live here… keep us safe” Amy’s prayer II
“We’ve been Axiom, you’ve been great, goodnight!” Laura at the end of a gig, at 10.30am
“I had a sheep, she was called BettyHer favourite meal was meatball spaghettiShe had a tail, she had four legs tooOnly problem with Betty wasShe went moo!” Jonny’s ode to a sheep
“Jonny, we are leaving in two minutes. You need to get out of bed” Laura, every morning
“That’s a really good idea, but maybe some other time!” Suzi, everytime we have a bad idea!
“But it’ll be ok” Everyone, when a crisis arises
“This house is freezing” Everyone who comes to our house!
Some quotes you might hear Axiom members saying from time to time:
“Lovin’ it”
“10 points”
“Ragin’”
“Fancy a wee brew?”
“Let’s get pizza”
“I’ll put the kettle on”

For those of you who didn't know those boys.. ahh hard cheese eh?
So this morning .. I got a lovely surprise... wee Bru rang me!!!! I was chuffed as soon as I heard her voice. It was wicked just chatting. Holy I miss her, and many more over that big puddle they call the Atlantic Ocean.

THEN... I was just thinkin of Paul the other day.. I was sayin to myself "Sweet... 88 days ish then I'll be in Norn Iron.. best be rememering that 20 dollar bill for the man as well as those mints that don't exist anymore :S" lol.. THEN HE POSTS ON MY BLOGG!!!!!!! I didn't even know he knew this existed. I was so excited :)

Ugh, I hate contact lens.. I wish I could wear em in public.. but counting as tho they give me enough grief at home.. flip sake. My eyeballs feel like there is saran wrap on em or somet! Bollocks.

Ohh man.. I love the way words here don't mean the same as over there. Case in point. "justsodit.com" is a website for a landscaping business... lol.. that's SO bad over there.. but I can say it all I want over here since no one understands :) Ahh, I do love it.

I did just about everything today except that which I was supposed to-studying. I cleaned my room, did laundry, talked to Laura for an hour, had a shower.. even shaved my legs.. THATS how bored I was.. I straightened my hair............. I wrote 4 letters, watched a football match at 10am this morning.. tie for ManchesterU. I finally started my Biblestudy book, but didn't do the questions since I couldn't seem to get my brain to WORK.

Apparently I did nothing else today. Awk well. I'll stop now so Dave can read :P

Ciao.